School Turf

I didn't had the time to read it, but i did see the first page :p

Thumbs up for the plot(base on other's comment ><)
Thumbs up for american comic style( though i don't like it,personally)
Thumbs up for your effort to finish it without rushing it with thrash.
Thumbs up for your creativity
Thumbs up for you!


speedhost sounds good at drawing. Can I see some? Glad to see some from you :)
 
Dude I haven't read them all but are they your drawing beacsue they are blicking awsome! These cool things could be published in an Newspaper, I'm only on Page 67 but When I come back I will read soem more. Thanks for a good read ;D
 
Long time no see, Ophie :D

Anyhow, great new chapters, I was a little bit lost since it was quite a while ago since I read the previous ones, but still.
 
Nice job! Can't believe i never saw this before. I just started to write comic strip, though it is really bad compared to yours.
 
Wow! This is impressive! Although sometimes the speech isn't very fluent, it still makes a great read.

Why does no-one wear 2 layers of clothes? =P
 
This must have taken a lot of effort to make! It's really good...although honestly, I didn't read the entire thing because it was too annoying to have to click a different page all the time. I would read it all if it came out in a book. The drawings remind me of how the people look in those Disney movies with Goofy and his son whose name is Maxie or something.
 
OPHIE YEAH =D

Awesome that you've finally updated this, I have been wondering when this would get continued!

A fifth-grader's candy - srs bsns.

/me nods solemnly

Moar soon please ^_^
 
Wow! What a lot of comments.

Staraptor said:
This. Is. Awesome. =D

I read it all today. You really are very talented. :3
Geez, Herschel's become like... evil. :eek:
I feel so bad for Koko..

I'll be looking out for the next update. =]
Click to expand...

Yep, that's certainly one of the themes of this story: corruption via power. Though Herschel was never the nicest kid to begin with. His regard for people other than Koko has never been a strong concern for him, whcih is probably all the more heartbreaking when he eliminates Koko.

Ryuu7 said:
I didn't had the time to read it, but I did see the first page :p

Thumbs up for the plot(base on other's comment ><)
Thumbs up for american comic style( though I don't like it,personally)
Thumbs up for your effort to finish it without rushing it with thrash.
Thumbs up for your creativity
Thumbs up for you!


speedhost sounds good at drawing. Can I see some? Glad to see some from you :)
Click to expand...

It's not finished, but it's getting close. There'll be 15 installments total.

Dark Marc said:
Dude I haven't read them all but are they your drawing beacsue they are blicking awsome! These cool things could be published in an Newspaper, I'm only on Page 67 but When I come back I will read soem more. Thanks for a good read ;D
Click to expand...

Yes, this is something I've done entirely by myself. These wouldn't be suitable for newspapers though, for the reasons that the story flow is continuous and because it probably comtains some content many big newspapers would prefer not to publish.

Furroshi said:
Nice job! Can't believe I never saw this before. I just started to write comic strip, though it is really bad compared to yours.
Click to expand...

You'll get better with practice, certainly. If you haven't been drawing for very long, you shouldn't expect yourself to rival Leonardo da Vinci. I've been drawing for over 15 years. Having faith in yourself is the best way to improve your ability to draw.

Pokémaniac said:
Wow! This is impressive! Although sometimes the speech isn't very fluent, it still makes a great read.

Why does no-one wear 2 layers of clothes? =P
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I suppose it's because the story is set during a time of year when it's hot out, but not so hot as to melt chocolate...? Typically, you'll only see one layer of clothes on a person if they put all of their clothes on properly anyway.

The speech isn't very fluent? What do you mean by that?

PMJ said:
OPHIE YEAH =D

Awesome that you've finally updated this, I have been wondering when this would get continued!

A fifth-grader's candy - srs bsns.

* PMJ nods solemnly

Moar soon please ^_^
Click to expand...

Okay then. Progress has been slow, since I'm concentrating on other things, but I will eventually update the story. And to an elementary school student, EVERYTHING is serious business.
 
I meant why does no-one wear 2 layers of clothes so if they get hit, they just take off that layer and pretend it never happened. =P

What I mean is sometimes in it I was reading it and I read something that made me have to go back a bit and just sorta broke the mood. That might just be me, though.
 
Oh, I see what you mean. They're squirted with fruit punch. That instantly goes through every layer of clothing, and all schools have strict dress codes meaning they can't just go around naked. The raincoats would probably provide some resistance to that (but not complete resistance), but what's more important is the psychological effect--pretty much every kid who gets squirted gets stunned out of shock, and they're quickly escorted out of the school by the nearly omnipresent Hall Monitors. (Notice that the Hall Monitors are practically everywhere.)

I designed this story to be more complicated and convoluted than normal. When you mean that you had to go back, do you mean how I frequently refer back to past events, locations, and dialogue?
 
No, it's more the bits where you imply a bit too much at once, so the reader still hasn't caught up on the bit of story that's been skipped. I dunno, it wasn't a huge issue, it just sort of hindered my enjoyment a bit. But not too much. ^_^
 
YEAH \o/

Man. I was wondering if you were ever gonna update. Can't read it now but I am stoked to do so later.
 
Thanks. This story took me way longer than I would've liked. Well, when I finish a story, I immediately start on the next one. I'll probably put it here when I finish enough of it.
 
Finally finished. The ending was pretty much what I expected it to be, but it was an awesome read. Definitely looking forward to reading anything else you bring here. :D
 
That's good to hear. The ending was the most difficult part to write for me, since there were so many plot points beforehand that it felt...heavy. I don't quite know how else to put it, but I could feel the rest of the story weighing down on me as I wrote it. The latter half of the trial became a balancing act, trying to keep everything consistent and not let the story collapse in on itself or deviate from its own logic. If it felt natural, then that means I pulled it off.

Endings are normally not difficult for me, since the ending is the second thing I come up with, not counting the premise (the first being the beginning). But I normally don't write a story with so many restrictions put upon myself. My stories tend to be way more bizarre and surreal.
 
Yeah, the ending was quite good, 'though it got a bit hard to follow because of it being almost a year since the last post...

But all in all it was a nice read, complex enough to be enjoyable, but not too complex to follow. Great job!
 
Hoo boy, this blows my stuff outta the water. Everything's really simple artwise, but the main point is that you can still read all the text and really get the story. This has everything that a good comic should, and I'm glad that you were able to finish this. Looking on my comic...ho man, it'll be hard trying to even think about getting this far into a project. So you totally have my respect here.

I will admit, it was a good bit difficult to click page-to-page. Have you thought about hosting this up on a site like Smackjeeves? The automatic navigation they include in their (free) webcomic services would definitely help to get rid of the whole 'click-and-go-back' problem. I think the SJ community would really like this story too. :3

Anyways, I'm keepin' an eye on you. I can't wait to see any more crazy stories you come up with. ;D
 
Read up to page ten, reading more now.

(Is that a South Park reference on there (the "What did you say?!"))

EDIT: Another South Park reference on Page 94. ;D
 
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