PMJ
Silhouette Gloom of the Sundown Lands
Forum Head
Articles Head
Elite Member
Advanced Member
Member
Text-Based Results
I don't know what it is about September, but this month saw the most entries for text-based in at least a year, and the first month since September 2021 to see 100% participation (nine compared to seven entries). Well done, all of you. Any contest is made more interesting with more contestants and I love seeing the stuff you guys come up with so keep it coming.
I'd like to take a moment to stress the importance of including references and relevant notes when you're submitting your entry. As a judge, if you just throw your fake in my face without telling me any relevant information about it, I can't take that into consideration when giving you a score. As an example, Kaleidophoenix's Lampent had a wording mistake that would have changed the meaning of his fake had I not seen his notes that made the intent of his attack clear. After the deadline passed, I messaged him on Discord and asked him to clarify, and it turns out it wasn't an omission at all, but just how he thought the wording would have been. This didn't change the penalty, but it did change the context of it, which is important in trying to improve your score.
Second, you should always include references in your post. If you have complicated Frankenstein wording (much like Kaleidophoenix did, incidentally), it is extremely helpful for me to be able to see where you're coming from with regards to why you used the sources you did.
For this month, I was looking for how much your entry would entice me to play it. I looked at existing lines to see if your fake would improve said line, as well as how well it could stand on its own. With Bench space at a premium, using up one of your slots for a low-HP Stage 1 isn't always worth the effort. Does your entry make the cut? Find out below.
Wording was a problem for many of you again. Did you know that we have a Discord where you can receive help with your fake before posting it? (Yes you did, because I never shut up about it.) If you like doing this, consider joining ourfancrafted custom card creating community. We're glad to help and I wanna see someone hit a 45 or better in text in November.
I don't know what it is about September, but this month saw the most entries for text-based in at least a year, and the first month since September 2021 to see 100% participation (nine compared to seven entries). Well done, all of you. Any contest is made more interesting with more contestants and I love seeing the stuff you guys come up with so keep it coming.
I'd like to take a moment to stress the importance of including references and relevant notes when you're submitting your entry. As a judge, if you just throw your fake in my face without telling me any relevant information about it, I can't take that into consideration when giving you a score. As an example, Kaleidophoenix's Lampent had a wording mistake that would have changed the meaning of his fake had I not seen his notes that made the intent of his attack clear. After the deadline passed, I messaged him on Discord and asked him to clarify, and it turns out it wasn't an omission at all, but just how he thought the wording would have been. This didn't change the penalty, but it did change the context of it, which is important in trying to improve your score.
Second, you should always include references in your post. If you have complicated Frankenstein wording (much like Kaleidophoenix did, incidentally), it is extremely helpful for me to be able to see where you're coming from with regards to why you used the sources you did.
For this month, I was looking for how much your entry would entice me to play it. I looked at existing lines to see if your fake would improve said line, as well as how well it could stand on its own. With Bench space at a premium, using up one of your slots for a low-HP Stage 1 isn't always worth the effort. Does your entry make the cut? Find out below.
Wording was a problem for many of you again. Did you know that we have a Discord where you can receive help with your fake before posting it? (Yes you did, because I never shut up about it.) If you like doing this, consider joining our
Fletchinder HP80 [R]
Stage 1-Evolves from Fletchling
N.622 Ember Pokémon HT.2' 04" WT.35.3 lbs
[Ability] Wildfire
When you play this Pokémon from your hand to evolve 1 of your Pokémon during your turn,you may switch 1 of your opponent’s Benched Pokémon with their Active Pokémon.If that Pokémon is not a R Pokémon,put 2 damage counters on the new Active Pokémon.
[C] Flap Away
Switch this Pokémon with 1 of your Benched Pokémon.Then,draw 2 cards.
Weakness: [L] X2
Resistance: [F]-30
Retreat Cost:[C]
"Fletchinder launches embers into the den of its prey. When the prey comes leaping out, Fletchinder’s sharp talons finish it off."
My Thoughts
Boss's Orders is one hell of a Supporter. It's not uncommon to see Supporters reprinted as Abilities, and when asking if your Supporter of choice would be busted, it's easy to see if it's been printed on a real card before. If it has, you can base your power accordingly.
There's an Ariados from Darkness Ablaze with an Ability like this, with the extra caveat that the Pokemon you gust up must be evolved. Fletchinder allowing you to gust up anything you want (and ping it for 20) is significantly better. Fletchinder's attack is much better as well. It's strict upgrades all around. The damage ping seems a little unnecessary; you're definitely not playing this just because you can hit a Benched guy for 20.
Wildfire might be powerful, but it's thematically fitting. I can easily picture Fletchinder swooping into some Benched Pokemon's hidey hole and starting it on fire, forcing them to come out into the open.
Wording errors:
General
- On English cards, the proper abbreviation in the dex info for number is "NO." [-1 point]
- On Sword & Shield cards, single-digit inches omit the zero (2'4", not 2'04"). [-1 point]
- Don't forget to put spaces after your sentences. I'll let it slide this time, but keep it in mind for the future. [-0 points]
Wildfire
- The trigger for damaging the new Active Pokemon isn't clear. Is it if the target isn't Fire, or the Pokemon that went to the Bench? You need to say so. [-1 point]
Flap Away
- There are a couple ways to go about making this wording correct. If you want them to get the 2 cards no matter what, you should say that first. If getting the cards is dependent on them switching, the correct wording is "If you do, draw 2 cards." [-1 point]
Creativity/Originality: 15/20
(Fun themes aside, a free, damaging Boss's Orders is insanely powerful. The effect isn't also very creative, but I give you a bonus point for presenting it in a thematic way.)
Wording: 11/15
(Easy errors with simple fixes.)
Believability/Playability: 13/15
(Given the restrictions on Ariados, I'm gonna ding you a little for believability here.)
Total: 39/50
Stage 1-Evolves from Fletchling
N.622 Ember Pokémon HT.2' 04" WT.35.3 lbs
[Ability] Wildfire
When you play this Pokémon from your hand to evolve 1 of your Pokémon during your turn,you may switch 1 of your opponent’s Benched Pokémon with their Active Pokémon.If that Pokémon is not a R Pokémon,put 2 damage counters on the new Active Pokémon.
[C] Flap Away
Switch this Pokémon with 1 of your Benched Pokémon.Then,draw 2 cards.
Weakness: [L] X2
Resistance: [F]-30
Retreat Cost:[C]
"Fletchinder launches embers into the den of its prey. When the prey comes leaping out, Fletchinder’s sharp talons finish it off."
My Thoughts
Boss's Orders is one hell of a Supporter. It's not uncommon to see Supporters reprinted as Abilities, and when asking if your Supporter of choice would be busted, it's easy to see if it's been printed on a real card before. If it has, you can base your power accordingly.
There's an Ariados from Darkness Ablaze with an Ability like this, with the extra caveat that the Pokemon you gust up must be evolved. Fletchinder allowing you to gust up anything you want (and ping it for 20) is significantly better. Fletchinder's attack is much better as well. It's strict upgrades all around. The damage ping seems a little unnecessary; you're definitely not playing this just because you can hit a Benched guy for 20.
Wildfire might be powerful, but it's thematically fitting. I can easily picture Fletchinder swooping into some Benched Pokemon's hidey hole and starting it on fire, forcing them to come out into the open.
Wording errors:
General
- On English cards, the proper abbreviation in the dex info for number is "NO." [-1 point]
- On Sword & Shield cards, single-digit inches omit the zero (2'4", not 2'04"). [-1 point]
- Don't forget to put spaces after your sentences. I'll let it slide this time, but keep it in mind for the future. [-0 points]
Wildfire
- The trigger for damaging the new Active Pokemon isn't clear. Is it if the target isn't Fire, or the Pokemon that went to the Bench? You need to say so. [-1 point]
Flap Away
- There are a couple ways to go about making this wording correct. If you want them to get the 2 cards no matter what, you should say that first. If getting the cards is dependent on them switching, the correct wording is "If you do, draw 2 cards." [-1 point]
Creativity/Originality: 15/20
(Fun themes aside, a free, damaging Boss's Orders is insanely powerful. The effect isn't also very creative, but I give you a bonus point for presenting it in a thematic way.)
Wording: 11/15
(Easy errors with simple fixes.)
Believability/Playability: 13/15
(Given the restrictions on Ariados, I'm gonna ding you a little for believability here.)
Total: 39/50
Pignite HP: 100 [F]
Stage 1: Evolves from Tepig
NO. 499 Fire Pig Pokémon HT: 3'3" WT: 122.4 lbs.
[F] Strength Challenge 30+
Each player searches their deck for a Pokémon and reveals it. If the Pokémon you revealed has a higher Retreat Cost than the Pokémon your opponent revealed, this attack does 60 more damage. Then, both players discard the revealed Pokémon and shuffle their decks.
[F][F][C] Full Toss 120
Shuffle a Stage 2 Pokémon from your discard pile into your deck. If you don't, this attack does nothing.
Weakness: [P] x2
Resistance:
Retreat: [C][C][C]
When its internal fire flares up, its movements grow sharper and faster. When in trouble, it emits smoke.
My Thoughts
I have mixed feelings about this card. It seems built to discard Emboar BST, as you can Mustard it into play on your next turn, but that's a pretty sketchy way to get Emboar into play. Full Toss is too expensive for the drawback, even if there are a plethora of fat Stage 2s you can toss with Strength Challenge.
While the attack effects are unique, or at least rare, I'm having a hard time finding a reason to use this card. It's difficult to justify when the attacks are so weak. Full Toss needs to do more damage; it's not even worth using as is, especially given the cost. Look at the upcoming Braixen and Delphox from Silver Tempest as an example. They have the same attack, for the same damage, with slightly different costs. That hits for a possible 240 for CC. You can get away with a similar cost for slightly reduced damage, given how much easier it is to find Pokemon to discard, but that's the kind of ballpark damage you should be shooting for. An attacking Stage 1 needs to be able to do more than tickle the big 2- and 3-Prizers in the current format.
I will give you props for entering a card without an Ability. It is significantly more difficult to justify a card's usage when it doesn't have some OP Ability it can fall back on. It was a risk, but I don't think it paid off for you this time. This is one time I wish you'd included some notes so I could get some insight into your thought process.
Wording errors:
Strength Challenge
- You need to add clarification for what happens when either player fails the search. Remember, the deck is a private zone, and you are always allowed to fail searches for specific types of cards, even if either player knows that there are valid targets in the deck. [-1 point]
- "Both players" was deprecated as of Sword & Shield. Instead, it should be, "each player discards the revealed Pokemon and shuffles their deck." Write out actions concerning both players as actions that "each player" takes as opposed to one that "both players" take. [-1 point]
Creativity/Originality: 16/20
(The combo is clear, even if the damage is weak.)
Wording: 13/15
(Not bad)
Believability/Playability: 11/15
(The big draw for this card, Full Toss, is far too weak. In a format this quick, I struggle to see value in this over Rare Candy, especially in a deck with Emboar.)
Total: 40/50
Stage 1: Evolves from Tepig
NO. 499 Fire Pig Pokémon HT: 3'3" WT: 122.4 lbs.
[F] Strength Challenge 30+
Each player searches their deck for a Pokémon and reveals it. If the Pokémon you revealed has a higher Retreat Cost than the Pokémon your opponent revealed, this attack does 60 more damage. Then, both players discard the revealed Pokémon and shuffle their decks.
[F][F][C] Full Toss 120
Shuffle a Stage 2 Pokémon from your discard pile into your deck. If you don't, this attack does nothing.
Weakness: [P] x2
Resistance:
Retreat: [C][C][C]
When its internal fire flares up, its movements grow sharper and faster. When in trouble, it emits smoke.
My Thoughts
I have mixed feelings about this card. It seems built to discard Emboar BST, as you can Mustard it into play on your next turn, but that's a pretty sketchy way to get Emboar into play. Full Toss is too expensive for the drawback, even if there are a plethora of fat Stage 2s you can toss with Strength Challenge.
While the attack effects are unique, or at least rare, I'm having a hard time finding a reason to use this card. It's difficult to justify when the attacks are so weak. Full Toss needs to do more damage; it's not even worth using as is, especially given the cost. Look at the upcoming Braixen and Delphox from Silver Tempest as an example. They have the same attack, for the same damage, with slightly different costs. That hits for a possible 240 for CC. You can get away with a similar cost for slightly reduced damage, given how much easier it is to find Pokemon to discard, but that's the kind of ballpark damage you should be shooting for. An attacking Stage 1 needs to be able to do more than tickle the big 2- and 3-Prizers in the current format.
I will give you props for entering a card without an Ability. It is significantly more difficult to justify a card's usage when it doesn't have some OP Ability it can fall back on. It was a risk, but I don't think it paid off for you this time. This is one time I wish you'd included some notes so I could get some insight into your thought process.
Wording errors:
Strength Challenge
- You need to add clarification for what happens when either player fails the search. Remember, the deck is a private zone, and you are always allowed to fail searches for specific types of cards, even if either player knows that there are valid targets in the deck. [-1 point]
- "Both players" was deprecated as of Sword & Shield. Instead, it should be, "each player discards the revealed Pokemon and shuffles their deck." Write out actions concerning both players as actions that "each player" takes as opposed to one that "both players" take. [-1 point]
Creativity/Originality: 16/20
(The combo is clear, even if the damage is weak.)
Wording: 13/15
(Not bad)
Believability/Playability: 11/15
(The big draw for this card, Full Toss, is far too weak. In a format this quick, I struggle to see value in this over Rare Candy, especially in a deck with Emboar.)
Total: 40/50
[Stage 1] Evolves from Dratini Put Dark Dragonair on the Basic Pokémon
Dark Dragonair 60 HP [C]
{Picture}
[Dragon Pokémon. Length: 13' 1". Weight: 3 lbs.]
Pokémon Power: Storm Summoning As often as you like during your turn (before your attack), you may attach 1 Basic Energy card to 1 of your Dark Pokémon. (This doesn't use up your 1 Energy card attachment for the turn.) For each energy card attached, put 1 damage counter on Dark Dragonair. This power can't be used if Dark Dragonair is Asleep, Confused or Paralyzed.
[C][C][C] Dragon Retaliation 10x
This attack does 10 damage times the number of damage counters on each of your Benched Dark Dragonair.
weakness / resistance / retreat cost
[-] / [P] -30 / [C][C]
[Often seen flying between dark cloud, it though to be the mysterious harbinger of bad weathers. LV. 40 #148]
My Thoughts
Classic era? Really making me dig out those old references for this one, huh? All right, let's see what we got...
I think this card is a good balance of strength and frailty that Dark Pokemon are known for. With Dark Dragonair TR and The Boss's Way, it's easier than ever to stream Dark Dragonair, and popping off with a T2 KO on something by utilizing DCE is pretty simple, too. The strategy is very weak to gusting and Bench damage in general, although Transparent Walls can help with the latter.
It's kind of a standalone deck and, ironically, has no real need for Dark Dragonite, as you'll want to have Dratini in play already to evolve into Dark Dragonair when you're ready to attack. Giant Tail is awful, but if your back is against the wall, it could be worth using if you think you're gonna go down or you're gonna lose otherwise. I will say that Summon Minions might have use after using Nightly Garbage Run to recover Dratini back into the deck, but generally speaking I probably wouldn't play more than 1 copy of Dark Dragonite.
This card could also be used to power up other Dark Pokemon in a pinch, but they're all so awful I don't think I'd worry about them. With three Dark Dragonair on your Bench, you're OHKOing everything anyway so trying to hit something for Weakness isn't really necessary.
The only problem I have is that it's unheard of for a Stage 1 to be usable as an attacker over its Stage 2 in this era. While I think you've hit the mark in terms of strength and ease of use, this just isn't something you'd ever seen in the classic-Neo eras. Other than that small detail, I like this fake a lot.
Wording errors:
General
- You should be using a comma instead of a period after the length. [-1 point]
- You missed a digit in Dragonair's weight. [-1 point]
Storm Summoning
- Don't capitalize basic when referring to Energy. There's a Ho-Oh in Neo Revelation that does, but it's the only card I can find that does; it's wrong. [-1 point]
- Cards should be attached to 1 of your "Pokemon with Dark in its name" or "Pokemon that has Dark in its name" (Light Machamp N4, Pokemon Personality Test N4) [-1 point]
- There are no relevant references for the damage counter sentence, so I'm going to leave it as is. However, you should always capitalize Energy no matter what. [-1 point]
Dragon Retaliation
- In classic era, when coin flips are not involved, you just say "Does x damage times..." (Sudowoodo N1) [-1 point]
- This took me a bit to nail down, but I believe you need to say the "total" number of damage counters because you are counting multiple Pokemon (Sabrina's Gengar G1, Clefairy N1). [-1 point]
- You also should say "each Dark Dragonair on your Bench" (Kabuto N2) [-1 point]
Creativity/Originality: 15/20
(Rain Dance is nothing new, but counting all the damage and then doing that damage is new to classic era. Still, it's been seen before, so even as a fake, there's no wow factor.)
Wording: 7/15
(Even though classic era wording is basically the Wild West, most of your wording errors were simple grammar mistakes or wording errors that would have been solved by checking a few cards. This is also why it's helpful to list your references, so I can see how you're coming up with the wording you do use.)
Believability/Playability: 13/15
(A powerful Dark deck with the capability to do huge damage, but also comes with the risk of getting your damage sources wiped instantly. As I said before, this strength is unbelievable to see on a Stage 1 in this era, but it is absolutely playable, and even has a guest room for Dark Dragonite, which is always nice.)
Total: 35/50
Dark Dragonair 60 HP [C]
{Picture}
[Dragon Pokémon. Length: 13' 1". Weight: 3 lbs.]
Pokémon Power: Storm Summoning As often as you like during your turn (before your attack), you may attach 1 Basic Energy card to 1 of your Dark Pokémon. (This doesn't use up your 1 Energy card attachment for the turn.) For each energy card attached, put 1 damage counter on Dark Dragonair. This power can't be used if Dark Dragonair is Asleep, Confused or Paralyzed.
[C][C][C] Dragon Retaliation 10x
This attack does 10 damage times the number of damage counters on each of your Benched Dark Dragonair.
weakness / resistance / retreat cost
[-] / [P] -30 / [C][C]
[Often seen flying between dark cloud, it though to be the mysterious harbinger of bad weathers. LV. 40 #148]
My Thoughts
Classic era? Really making me dig out those old references for this one, huh? All right, let's see what we got...
I think this card is a good balance of strength and frailty that Dark Pokemon are known for. With Dark Dragonair TR and The Boss's Way, it's easier than ever to stream Dark Dragonair, and popping off with a T2 KO on something by utilizing DCE is pretty simple, too. The strategy is very weak to gusting and Bench damage in general, although Transparent Walls can help with the latter.
It's kind of a standalone deck and, ironically, has no real need for Dark Dragonite, as you'll want to have Dratini in play already to evolve into Dark Dragonair when you're ready to attack. Giant Tail is awful, but if your back is against the wall, it could be worth using if you think you're gonna go down or you're gonna lose otherwise. I will say that Summon Minions might have use after using Nightly Garbage Run to recover Dratini back into the deck, but generally speaking I probably wouldn't play more than 1 copy of Dark Dragonite.
This card could also be used to power up other Dark Pokemon in a pinch, but they're all so awful I don't think I'd worry about them. With three Dark Dragonair on your Bench, you're OHKOing everything anyway so trying to hit something for Weakness isn't really necessary.
The only problem I have is that it's unheard of for a Stage 1 to be usable as an attacker over its Stage 2 in this era. While I think you've hit the mark in terms of strength and ease of use, this just isn't something you'd ever seen in the classic-Neo eras. Other than that small detail, I like this fake a lot.
Wording errors:
General
- You should be using a comma instead of a period after the length. [-1 point]
- You missed a digit in Dragonair's weight. [-1 point]
Storm Summoning
- Don't capitalize basic when referring to Energy. There's a Ho-Oh in Neo Revelation that does, but it's the only card I can find that does; it's wrong. [-1 point]
- Cards should be attached to 1 of your "Pokemon with Dark in its name" or "Pokemon that has Dark in its name" (Light Machamp N4, Pokemon Personality Test N4) [-1 point]
- There are no relevant references for the damage counter sentence, so I'm going to leave it as is. However, you should always capitalize Energy no matter what. [-1 point]
Dragon Retaliation
- In classic era, when coin flips are not involved, you just say "Does x damage times..." (Sudowoodo N1) [-1 point]
- This took me a bit to nail down, but I believe you need to say the "total" number of damage counters because you are counting multiple Pokemon (Sabrina's Gengar G1, Clefairy N1). [-1 point]
- You also should say "each Dark Dragonair on your Bench" (Kabuto N2) [-1 point]
Creativity/Originality: 15/20
(Rain Dance is nothing new, but counting all the damage and then doing that damage is new to classic era. Still, it's been seen before, so even as a fake, there's no wow factor.)
Wording: 7/15
(Even though classic era wording is basically the Wild West, most of your wording errors were simple grammar mistakes or wording errors that would have been solved by checking a few cards. This is also why it's helpful to list your references, so I can see how you're coming up with the wording you do use.)
Believability/Playability: 13/15
(A powerful Dark deck with the capability to do huge damage, but also comes with the risk of getting your damage sources wiped instantly. As I said before, this strength is unbelievable to see on a Stage 1 in this era, but it is absolutely playable, and even has a guest room for Dark Dragonite, which is always nice.)
Total: 35/50
Raboot HP: 90 [R]
Stage 1
NO: 814 Rabbit Pokémon HT: 2'00" WT: 19.8 lbs.
Ability: Kick Up
Once during your turn, you may put 3 damage counters on one of your Pokémon. If you placed any damage counters on one of your Pokémon in this way, prevent all effects of attacks, including damage, done to that Pokémon during your opponent’s next turn.
[R][C] Double Kick 20x
Flip 2 coins. This attack does 20 damage for each heads.
Weakness: [W] x2
Resistance:
Retreat: [C]
It kicks berries right off the branches of trees and then juggles them with its feet, practicing its footwork.
My Thoughts
Being able to ping one of your own guys for 30 damage in exchange for immunity to all effects and damage is such a broken effect that there's no way to justify its existence on a card. By hitting your Active with this while having some sort of Bench protection like Manaphy BRS on your Bench, you essentially force your opponent to have Rope + Boss every turn just to deal with whatever's swinging up front. There are a million and one ways to heal this 30 damage as well, making the damage essentially a non-issue.
Additionally, why is it called Kick Up? Why does it hurt your own Pokemon? Why does doing that grant you immunity to damage and effects? Thematically, nothing about this Ability makes sense, even if it functionally does. If you want to play up the kicking angle, what about an Ability that boosts the damage of your Fire-type Pokemon that have a Tool attached (referencing how this Pokemon gets better by practicing kicking around berries it kicks off trees)? I think there's definitely potential here, but unfortunately the effect you've gone with is completely busted.
I would invite you to visit our Discord to get some help toning down some of your ideas. I notice that your fakes consistently have potential but if you're not well-versed in game balance then it becomes very easy to put out something that's completely unfair. Obviously I don't think this was your intent and I want you to do well, so stop by and see us for advice, we will be more than happy to help you, bro.
Wording errors:
General
- In SWSH era, a length of zero inches is omitted (any Raboot card) [-1 point]
Kick Up
- Always use numerals in your effect text (1, not one) (Hoopa V) [-1 point]
- You don't need "on one of your Pokemon" (Spiritomb CRE, Flapple RCL) [-1 point]
- In SWSH era, Agility-style prevention is written as "prevent all damage from and effects of attacks done to" that Pokemon. Additionally, the "during your opponent's next turn" should go before the prevention phrase (Mr. Mime LOR) [-2 points]
Creativity/Originality: 14/20
(Thematically the card is confusing and Double Kick isn't an interesting attack.)
Wording: 10/15
(Looking at real cards helps a lot. pkmncards.com is a fantastic resource!)
Believability/Playability: 5/15
(Breaks the format.)
Total: 29/50
Stage 1
NO: 814 Rabbit Pokémon HT: 2'00" WT: 19.8 lbs.
Ability: Kick Up
Once during your turn, you may put 3 damage counters on one of your Pokémon. If you placed any damage counters on one of your Pokémon in this way, prevent all effects of attacks, including damage, done to that Pokémon during your opponent’s next turn.
[R][C] Double Kick 20x
Flip 2 coins. This attack does 20 damage for each heads.
Weakness: [W] x2
Resistance:
Retreat: [C]
It kicks berries right off the branches of trees and then juggles them with its feet, practicing its footwork.
My Thoughts
Being able to ping one of your own guys for 30 damage in exchange for immunity to all effects and damage is such a broken effect that there's no way to justify its existence on a card. By hitting your Active with this while having some sort of Bench protection like Manaphy BRS on your Bench, you essentially force your opponent to have Rope + Boss every turn just to deal with whatever's swinging up front. There are a million and one ways to heal this 30 damage as well, making the damage essentially a non-issue.
Additionally, why is it called Kick Up? Why does it hurt your own Pokemon? Why does doing that grant you immunity to damage and effects? Thematically, nothing about this Ability makes sense, even if it functionally does. If you want to play up the kicking angle, what about an Ability that boosts the damage of your Fire-type Pokemon that have a Tool attached (referencing how this Pokemon gets better by practicing kicking around berries it kicks off trees)? I think there's definitely potential here, but unfortunately the effect you've gone with is completely busted.
I would invite you to visit our Discord to get some help toning down some of your ideas. I notice that your fakes consistently have potential but if you're not well-versed in game balance then it becomes very easy to put out something that's completely unfair. Obviously I don't think this was your intent and I want you to do well, so stop by and see us for advice, we will be more than happy to help you, bro.
Wording errors:
General
- In SWSH era, a length of zero inches is omitted (any Raboot card) [-1 point]
Kick Up
- Always use numerals in your effect text (1, not one) (Hoopa V) [-1 point]
- You don't need "on one of your Pokemon" (Spiritomb CRE, Flapple RCL) [-1 point]
- In SWSH era, Agility-style prevention is written as "prevent all damage from and effects of attacks done to" that Pokemon. Additionally, the "during your opponent's next turn" should go before the prevention phrase (Mr. Mime LOR) [-2 points]
Creativity/Originality: 14/20
(Thematically the card is confusing and Double Kick isn't an interesting attack.)
Wording: 10/15
(Looking at real cards helps a lot. pkmncards.com is a fantastic resource!)
Believability/Playability: 5/15
(Breaks the format.)
Total: 29/50
Whirlipede
Pokémon - [D] - 90
Stage 1 Pokémon - Evolves from Venipede
NO. 544 Curlipede Pokémon HT: 3'11" WT: 129 lbs.
Ability: Speed Squad
When you play this Pokémon from your hand to evolve 1 of your Pokémon during your turn, you may search your deck for up to 3 Whirlipede and put them onto your Bench. Then, shuffle your deck.
[C][C]: Gang Growth
Search your deck for a Pokémon that evolves from 1 of your Benched [D] Pokémon and put it onto that Pokémon to evolve it. Then, shuffle your deck.
Weakness: [F] x2
Resistance: None
Retreat: [C][C][C]
It is usually motionless, but when attacked, it rotates at high speed and then crashes into its opponent.
My Thoughts
Hey, welcome back! It's been a while, hasn't it? Glad to see you entering again.
At first glance, this card looks promising. The moment you evolve, you get to bring out all your other Whirlipede? Sounds great! And you even get to evolve one of them, if you so choose? Even better! My problem is that this looks custom built to swarm Scolipede, and the only Scolipede in SWSH aren't meant to be swarmed. Or, more specifically, there's no incentive for you to have multiple in play at once, which really takes the wind out of this card's sails.
The attention then turns to Gang Growth and what is worth using it on, and unfortunately there aren't a lot of great targets for this, given the restriction that the Pokemon you evolve has to be Darkness. It could be used on Deino DAA in order to prepare Zweilous for evolving the following turn; Hydreigon's Dark Squall Ability could be great for powering up all those Scolipede. Combine it with Garbodor RCL's Poison Puddle and you've got the makings of a decent single-Prize deck that might be less clunky than it appears.
There's not much else use for it, as many of the Stage 2s you might wanna get into play either evolve from things that aren't Darkness (Pupitar, Dewott) or have Abilities that trigger on drop from your hand (Crobat, Galarian Obstagoon). I also think you could get away with having Gang Growth cost a single Energy; attacks like this have been on Basics for both 1 and 0 Energy.
Wording errors:
General
- You're missing the "HP" in the HP! [-1 point]
Creativity/Originality: 14/20
(The idea of being able to swarm gets me excited, but the lack of real options is kind of a downer.)
Wording: 14/15
(Great job nailing the effect text wording!)
Believability/Playability: 14/15
(It's certainly playable, but would I want to? That's debatable.)
Total: 42/50
Pokémon - [D] - 90
Stage 1 Pokémon - Evolves from Venipede
NO. 544 Curlipede Pokémon HT: 3'11" WT: 129 lbs.
Ability: Speed Squad
When you play this Pokémon from your hand to evolve 1 of your Pokémon during your turn, you may search your deck for up to 3 Whirlipede and put them onto your Bench. Then, shuffle your deck.
[C][C]: Gang Growth
Search your deck for a Pokémon that evolves from 1 of your Benched [D] Pokémon and put it onto that Pokémon to evolve it. Then, shuffle your deck.
Weakness: [F] x2
Resistance: None
Retreat: [C][C][C]
It is usually motionless, but when attacked, it rotates at high speed and then crashes into its opponent.
My Thoughts
Hey, welcome back! It's been a while, hasn't it? Glad to see you entering again.
At first glance, this card looks promising. The moment you evolve, you get to bring out all your other Whirlipede? Sounds great! And you even get to evolve one of them, if you so choose? Even better! My problem is that this looks custom built to swarm Scolipede, and the only Scolipede in SWSH aren't meant to be swarmed. Or, more specifically, there's no incentive for you to have multiple in play at once, which really takes the wind out of this card's sails.
The attention then turns to Gang Growth and what is worth using it on, and unfortunately there aren't a lot of great targets for this, given the restriction that the Pokemon you evolve has to be Darkness. It could be used on Deino DAA in order to prepare Zweilous for evolving the following turn; Hydreigon's Dark Squall Ability could be great for powering up all those Scolipede. Combine it with Garbodor RCL's Poison Puddle and you've got the makings of a decent single-Prize deck that might be less clunky than it appears.
There's not much else use for it, as many of the Stage 2s you might wanna get into play either evolve from things that aren't Darkness (Pupitar, Dewott) or have Abilities that trigger on drop from your hand (Crobat, Galarian Obstagoon). I also think you could get away with having Gang Growth cost a single Energy; attacks like this have been on Basics for both 1 and 0 Energy.
Wording errors:
General
- You're missing the "HP" in the HP! [-1 point]
Creativity/Originality: 14/20
(The idea of being able to swarm gets me excited, but the lack of real options is kind of a downer.)
Wording: 14/15
(Great job nailing the effect text wording!)
Believability/Playability: 14/15
(It's certainly playable, but would I want to? That's debatable.)
Total: 42/50
Porygon2 – C – HP90
Stage 1 – Evolves from Porygon
NO. 233 Virtual Pokémon HT: 2' WT: 71.7 lbs.
Ability: Hyperlink
When you play this Pokémon from your hand to evolve 1 of your Pokémon during your turn, you may choose 1 of your Pokémon that doesn't have a Rule Box (Pokémon V, Pokémon-GX, etc. have Rule Boxes.) That Pokémon's attacks cost [C][C] less as long as this Pokémon is in play.
[C][C] Reload and Rewind 50
Put 2 basic Energy and all Pokémon Tools attached to your opponent's Active Pokémon into their hand.
Weakness: Fighting (x2)
Resistance:
Retreat: [C] [C]
After artificial intelligence was implemented in Porygon2, the Pokémon began using a strange language that only other Porygon2 understand.
My Thoughts
Hyperlink is cool in theory but only mildly useful in practice. The inability to choose Rule Box Pokemon combined with the frailty of anything you could get out reasonably quickly means that it's not suitable for more than a surprise attack on something. The effect going away once you evolve something also means you need to have your guy ready to go before you evolve into Porygon2, which slows the deck down further.
None of that matters though, because Reload and Rewind is completely broken. For a single Twin or Double Turbo Energy (or nothing - just self-target with Hyperlink), you can set your opponent back two turns of attachments consistently. I can't understate how bonkers this attack is for its cost. Lapras SSH can do this attack for WWWW. Samurott VIV, a Stage 2 can do it for WCC. This Porygon2 can do it for free, or one attachment at the most. It's understandable to give your Pokemon a good attack to make it stand out, but you've well over shot the mark here.
Wording errors:
Hyperlink
- Rule Box reminder text should be placed after all other text (Arezu LOR) [-1 point]
Creativity/Originality: 16/20
(The idea of a Pokemon becoming a DCE is pretty cool, but having to sequence things in just the right way makes it lose some of its appeal.)
Wording: 14/15
(Nice work for your first foray into SWSH)
Believability/Playability: 10/15
(Attack is way overpowered for its cost, self-targeting allows you to do it for free)
Total: 40/50
Stage 1 – Evolves from Porygon
NO. 233 Virtual Pokémon HT: 2' WT: 71.7 lbs.
Ability: Hyperlink
When you play this Pokémon from your hand to evolve 1 of your Pokémon during your turn, you may choose 1 of your Pokémon that doesn't have a Rule Box (Pokémon V, Pokémon-GX, etc. have Rule Boxes.) That Pokémon's attacks cost [C][C] less as long as this Pokémon is in play.
[C][C] Reload and Rewind 50
Put 2 basic Energy and all Pokémon Tools attached to your opponent's Active Pokémon into their hand.
Weakness: Fighting (x2)
Resistance:
Retreat: [C] [C]
After artificial intelligence was implemented in Porygon2, the Pokémon began using a strange language that only other Porygon2 understand.
My Thoughts
Hyperlink is cool in theory but only mildly useful in practice. The inability to choose Rule Box Pokemon combined with the frailty of anything you could get out reasonably quickly means that it's not suitable for more than a surprise attack on something. The effect going away once you evolve something also means you need to have your guy ready to go before you evolve into Porygon2, which slows the deck down further.
None of that matters though, because Reload and Rewind is completely broken. For a single Twin or Double Turbo Energy (or nothing - just self-target with Hyperlink), you can set your opponent back two turns of attachments consistently. I can't understate how bonkers this attack is for its cost. Lapras SSH can do this attack for WWWW. Samurott VIV, a Stage 2 can do it for WCC. This Porygon2 can do it for free, or one attachment at the most. It's understandable to give your Pokemon a good attack to make it stand out, but you've well over shot the mark here.
Wording errors:
Hyperlink
- Rule Box reminder text should be placed after all other text (Arezu LOR) [-1 point]
Creativity/Originality: 16/20
(The idea of a Pokemon becoming a DCE is pretty cool, but having to sequence things in just the right way makes it lose some of its appeal.)
Wording: 14/15
(Nice work for your first foray into SWSH)
Believability/Playability: 10/15
(Attack is way overpowered for its cost, self-targeting allows you to do it for free)
Total: 40/50
[Lampent – Fire– HP80
Stage 1 – Evolves from Litwick
NO: 608 Lamp Pokémon HT: 2' WT: 28.7 lbs.
Ability: Consuming Flames
When you play Chandelure from your hand to evolve this Pokémon during your turn, you may use this Ability. Before evolving, attach this Pokémon to 1 of your opponent's Pokémon as a Pokémon Tool card. If the Pokémon this card is attached to uses an attack, discard the top 2 cards of your deck. (When this card is removed from a Pokémon for any reason, put this card in its owner's discard pile.)
[R] Ennervating Fire 20
During your opponent’s next turn, the Defending Pokémon has no Abilities.
Weakness: [W]x2
Resistance:
Retreat: [C]
It lurks in cities, pretending to be a lamp. Once it finds someone whose death is near, it will trail quietly after them.
My Thoughts
So I talked to Jabs about this again and I'm not going to ding you for missing "opponent's" like we discussed, but, more specifically, because of the ambiguity of the wording. Since the effect you're looking for doesn't exist, you need to be super clear about what your meaning is, especially if it's a new effect that might be misunderstood the way I did.
So let's talk about the actual fake. I think it's pretty neat. I don't know if you took inspiration from my own post where I mentioned how I liked making a bad Stage 2 decent, but I'm a sucker for mill and I support any attempts at making it more viable, no matter what the rest of the council says >:[
I kinda like the strength of this card. The effect is an unremovable Cursed Shovel for as long as the Pokemon is alive. Adding in a couple Tool Scrapper to ensure that you can attach the Lampent safely goes a long way in making sure this card doesn't get stuffed by them flooding their field with Tools.
It is a little concerning that you pretty much won't be getting your Lampent back once you attach them, which makes streaming Chandelure progressively more difficult. Assuming you're getting Knocked Out every turn, it can be hard to keep the mill coming, although Cursed Shovel + Lampent means losing 4 cards on a Knock Out which is pretty nuts.
While a Tool that mills the opponent whenever they attack is pretty cool, needing to use Chandelure to trigger the Ability means it doesn't really have any use outside of a dedicated mill deck, and that's okay. I think that what it does do, it does well.
Wording errors:
Consuming Flames
- The wording for who discards the cards needs to be less ambiguous. It currently reads that you, the player, get milled whenever the opponent attacks. You could solve this ambiguity by saying something like "discard the top 2 cards of its owner's deck". This effect of attaching to your oppoennt's Pokemon and having it do something that also affects the opponent doesn't exist, so you can get away with inventing new wording for it. [-1 point]
Ennervating Fire
- "Enervating" is misspelled. There's even a Gloom that has used the word before. [-1 point]
Creativity/Originality: 17/20
(An interesting way to get mileage out of something you would normally just skip over. Tools that are attached to your oppoent's Pokemon aren't exactly original but it's been long enough that it's kind of refreshing to see again; additionally, the card has a unique trigger that makes it a stellar option in its dedicated deck but nowhere else, which prevents it from becoming the blanket new Tool that everyone uses.)
Wording: 13/15
(You had a lot of moving parts for this wording, but you still nailed it, weird wording inventions notwithstanding. Well done.)
Believability/Playability: 13/15
(It's hard to say for certain because there have only been two cards in the history of the game that attach to your opponent's Pokemon, and those two card have very distinct designs, probably to help tell them apart from other cards. I don't this Lampent would receive the same treatment and I don't think it's fair as a text faker to be able to get out of making that sort of visual distinction just because it's text. So a couple points off for believability. Other than that, it's a fine card and would definitely make me reconsider Chandelure as a deck.)
Total: 43/50
Stage 1 – Evolves from Litwick
NO: 608 Lamp Pokémon HT: 2' WT: 28.7 lbs.
Ability: Consuming Flames
When you play Chandelure from your hand to evolve this Pokémon during your turn, you may use this Ability. Before evolving, attach this Pokémon to 1 of your opponent's Pokémon as a Pokémon Tool card. If the Pokémon this card is attached to uses an attack, discard the top 2 cards of your deck. (When this card is removed from a Pokémon for any reason, put this card in its owner's discard pile.)
[R] Ennervating Fire 20
During your opponent’s next turn, the Defending Pokémon has no Abilities.
Weakness: [W]x2
Resistance:
Retreat: [C]
It lurks in cities, pretending to be a lamp. Once it finds someone whose death is near, it will trail quietly after them.
My Thoughts
So I talked to Jabs about this again and I'm not going to ding you for missing "opponent's" like we discussed, but, more specifically, because of the ambiguity of the wording. Since the effect you're looking for doesn't exist, you need to be super clear about what your meaning is, especially if it's a new effect that might be misunderstood the way I did.
So let's talk about the actual fake. I think it's pretty neat. I don't know if you took inspiration from my own post where I mentioned how I liked making a bad Stage 2 decent, but I'm a sucker for mill and I support any attempts at making it more viable, no matter what the rest of the council says >:[
I kinda like the strength of this card. The effect is an unremovable Cursed Shovel for as long as the Pokemon is alive. Adding in a couple Tool Scrapper to ensure that you can attach the Lampent safely goes a long way in making sure this card doesn't get stuffed by them flooding their field with Tools.
It is a little concerning that you pretty much won't be getting your Lampent back once you attach them, which makes streaming Chandelure progressively more difficult. Assuming you're getting Knocked Out every turn, it can be hard to keep the mill coming, although Cursed Shovel + Lampent means losing 4 cards on a Knock Out which is pretty nuts.
While a Tool that mills the opponent whenever they attack is pretty cool, needing to use Chandelure to trigger the Ability means it doesn't really have any use outside of a dedicated mill deck, and that's okay. I think that what it does do, it does well.
Wording errors:
Consuming Flames
- The wording for who discards the cards needs to be less ambiguous. It currently reads that you, the player, get milled whenever the opponent attacks. You could solve this ambiguity by saying something like "discard the top 2 cards of its owner's deck". This effect of attaching to your oppoennt's Pokemon and having it do something that also affects the opponent doesn't exist, so you can get away with inventing new wording for it. [-1 point]
Ennervating Fire
- "Enervating" is misspelled. There's even a Gloom that has used the word before. [-1 point]
Creativity/Originality: 17/20
(An interesting way to get mileage out of something you would normally just skip over. Tools that are attached to your oppoent's Pokemon aren't exactly original but it's been long enough that it's kind of refreshing to see again; additionally, the card has a unique trigger that makes it a stellar option in its dedicated deck but nowhere else, which prevents it from becoming the blanket new Tool that everyone uses.)
Wording: 13/15
(You had a lot of moving parts for this wording, but you still nailed it, weird wording inventions notwithstanding. Well done.)
Believability/Playability: 13/15
(It's hard to say for certain because there have only been two cards in the history of the game that attach to your opponent's Pokemon, and those two card have very distinct designs, probably to help tell them apart from other cards. I don't this Lampent would receive the same treatment and I don't think it's fair as a text faker to be able to get out of making that sort of visual distinction just because it's text. So a couple points off for believability. Other than that, it's a fine card and would definitely make me reconsider Chandelure as a deck.)
Total: 43/50
Corvisquire - HP 80 - [C]
Stage 1 - Evolves from Rookidee
NO. 822 Raven Pokémon HT: 2'7” WT: 35.3 lbs.
/Ability/ - Pushing Pieces
When you play this Pokémon from your hand to evolve 1 of your Pokémon during your turn, you may have your opponent reveal their hand. Then, put any number of Basic Pokémon you find there onto your opponent’s Bench.
[C][C] - En Passant 20+
If your opponent’s Active Pokémon was on their Bench during their last turn, this attack does 40 more damage
Weakness - [L] ×2
Resistance - [F] -20
RC - [C]
The lessons of many harsh battles have taught it how to accurately judge an opponent's strength.
My Thoughts
I'm glad you posted! Even if you're not confident in your abilities, you have nothing to lose by posting, and I like to think that it keeps people on their toes to see so many people submitting.
Given that Mawile-GX saw some play for its Ability, it's difficult to know whether or not this Corvisquire would. Mawile-GX is a Basic, which is the whole draw of the card. Without a Corviknight existing in SM era, and with this card not taking advantage of the Pokemon you drop down in the same way Mawile-GX does, it's hard for me to determine if the minimum two spots required would be worth it. On the one hand, Corvisquire isn't subject to Captivating Wink the way Mawile-GX itself is, so you have more freedom to drop it when you think you've got a good chance of disrupting your opponent. It's also only worth 1 Prize, so getting it gusted out and murdered isn't as big a deal as it would be if it were Mawile-GX. On the other hand, I have no real reason to attack with this thing and with no existing Corviknight I can't wonder how filling your opponent's Bench might help it out.
As I posted in chat, I dig the chess references and did notice it after I read En Passant. Doing increased damage to a Pokemon that was formerly on the Bench is about as close to en passant as you can get, but as cool as that is, the bonus damage is difficult to trigger and there is little incentive to doing 60 damage as a meme when your actual attacker is capable of doing way more. I understand that, as an evolving Stage 1, you aren't gonna be a GX slayer or anything, but En Passant seems so much less enticing when you can't score a KO with it and no way to influence your target outside of Boss's Orders. And if you're gonna Boss something up, you are sure as shit not gonna waste it by only doing sixty damage to it.
Wording errors:
Pushing Pieces
- Mawile-GX is a better reference for this, you can copy the wording almost verbatim. [-1 point]
En Passant
- Period missing at the end of the attack [-1 point]
Creativity/Originality: 14/20
(Reused ability isn't that inspiring. You can't take advantage of the Pokemon dropped. There is little reason to actually attack with this Pokemon, even considering the bonus damage.)
Wording: 13/15
(You did fine, all things considered)
Believability/Playability: 12/15
(With no Corviknight in the format, I have to judge playability solely on Corvisquire's own merits, and Corvisquire itself is kinda underwhelming. Even with the risks involved, I'd probably rather just play Mawile-GX.)
Total: 39/50
Stage 1 - Evolves from Rookidee
NO. 822 Raven Pokémon HT: 2'7” WT: 35.3 lbs.
/Ability/ - Pushing Pieces
When you play this Pokémon from your hand to evolve 1 of your Pokémon during your turn, you may have your opponent reveal their hand. Then, put any number of Basic Pokémon you find there onto your opponent’s Bench.
[C][C] - En Passant 20+
If your opponent’s Active Pokémon was on their Bench during their last turn, this attack does 40 more damage
Weakness - [L] ×2
Resistance - [F] -20
RC - [C]
The lessons of many harsh battles have taught it how to accurately judge an opponent's strength.
My Thoughts
I'm glad you posted! Even if you're not confident in your abilities, you have nothing to lose by posting, and I like to think that it keeps people on their toes to see so many people submitting.
Given that Mawile-GX saw some play for its Ability, it's difficult to know whether or not this Corvisquire would. Mawile-GX is a Basic, which is the whole draw of the card. Without a Corviknight existing in SM era, and with this card not taking advantage of the Pokemon you drop down in the same way Mawile-GX does, it's hard for me to determine if the minimum two spots required would be worth it. On the one hand, Corvisquire isn't subject to Captivating Wink the way Mawile-GX itself is, so you have more freedom to drop it when you think you've got a good chance of disrupting your opponent. It's also only worth 1 Prize, so getting it gusted out and murdered isn't as big a deal as it would be if it were Mawile-GX. On the other hand, I have no real reason to attack with this thing and with no existing Corviknight I can't wonder how filling your opponent's Bench might help it out.
As I posted in chat, I dig the chess references and did notice it after I read En Passant. Doing increased damage to a Pokemon that was formerly on the Bench is about as close to en passant as you can get, but as cool as that is, the bonus damage is difficult to trigger and there is little incentive to doing 60 damage as a meme when your actual attacker is capable of doing way more. I understand that, as an evolving Stage 1, you aren't gonna be a GX slayer or anything, but En Passant seems so much less enticing when you can't score a KO with it and no way to influence your target outside of Boss's Orders. And if you're gonna Boss something up, you are sure as shit not gonna waste it by only doing sixty damage to it.
Wording errors:
Pushing Pieces
- Mawile-GX is a better reference for this, you can copy the wording almost verbatim. [-1 point]
En Passant
- Period missing at the end of the attack [-1 point]
Creativity/Originality: 14/20
(Reused ability isn't that inspiring. You can't take advantage of the Pokemon dropped. There is little reason to actually attack with this Pokemon, even considering the bonus damage.)
Wording: 13/15
(You did fine, all things considered)
Believability/Playability: 12/15
(With no Corviknight in the format, I have to judge playability solely on Corvisquire's own merits, and Corvisquire itself is kinda underwhelming. Even with the risks involved, I'd probably rather just play Mawile-GX.)
Total: 39/50
3rd Place: doofisconfused’s Porygon2, with 40/50 points.
3rd Place: Falling Skies’s Pignite, with 40/50 points.
2nd Place: ThePigThatCriedRii’s Whirlipede, with 42/50 points.
1st Place: Kaleidophoenix’s Lampent, with 43/50 points.
3rd Place: Falling Skies’s Pignite, with 40/50 points.
2nd Place: ThePigThatCriedRii’s Whirlipede, with 42/50 points.
1st Place: Kaleidophoenix’s Lampent, with 43/50 points.
Your fonts and placements are getting a lot better, which is awesome to see. I see you edited your entry to fix a couple problems, but you’ve still missed out a couple wording things. We’ll get to those later, but I want to point out up front that it can be valuable to get additional sets of eyes on your card before you post it — don’t be afraid to ask people to proofread!
