Writing Short Story Competition!
- Thread starter bacon
- Start date
- Status
My entry -
A tragic story about a girl and her Raichu
New Beginning - Entry - Delta - Pokebeach SSC
It was a cold night when I woke up, still my Raichu hadn't been getting better.
I opened the window as I got out of my bed and I looked at the clouds. They looked so peacful and agile. Like, they could wonder away at
any moment. But they didn't, they always stuck by me, just like my Raichu. I then closed the window and looked at my raichu it was still
getting bigger and bigger. I cared for it I really did. It was going to give birth soon, I just new it, it was two days over due but I still think it can happen within the next two days.
I yawned and whent back to sleep in my pika-bed. Worried about my little Raichu.
The next morning my eevee woke me up by wafting it's tail gainst my nose.
I wafted it away, and when I sat up my Raichu was in the middle of my legs, just sleeping there in it's cute little scrunched up way.
I carefully lifted my legs from under it and started to walk out of my bedroom.
My eevee followed as I didn't close the door. And it rather ponsily walked behind me.
The morning was no better than the night, still a bit cloudy, but a nice pale white colour today.
I walked downstairs, still half awake and rubbing my eyes I noticed from the corner of my eye, my Raichu had woken up. I smiled. And considering it was pregnent I helped it downstairs
(Of course, it weighed like 200 pounds so I couldn't carry it but two feet at a time I helped it downstairs.)
We soon got downstairs and then we got to the kitchen.
"Alisa!," Joanne shouted "Breakfast!,"
"Be there in a sec mom," I replied, still helping my Raichu.
My Raichu waddled along the kitchen floor on two legs, as I held it's front two to keep it stable.
I sat down at the table and started to dig away at my toast, leaving the bread crusts, and giving them to my Raichu. Mom set down a can of poke-blocks for my eevee.
"Rai Rai Rai...chuuuuuu!," Raichu cried
I giggled, and walked into the bathroom.
I came out 10 minutes later with new clothes and hair. I looked at my pachirisu watch, it was 7:10, time to leave for school.
I grabbed my bag and got my belt full of pokeballs from the side and left out of the door while shouting
"I'm off mom!,"
"Ok Dear," My mom said, half getting cut off by the slam of the door.
I walked outside and pulled out my pink, clefairy mobile and dialed my freind, Lucy
I put it to my ear and she picked up,
"Hey are you ready yet?," I asked
"Yep, just about, meet me at the fountain, I'll see you there," She explained in the staticy voice.
I nodded and ended the call, then put it back in my pocket
I put my hand in my pocket and started to walk over to the fountain.
I noticed that the pidgeys were quiete Docile today, like a big day is going to happen.
As usual I walked by the guy who had the poliwhirl, and the game corner was just about to set up shop.
Finally I got to the fountain where Lucy was nowhere in sight.
I waited for a couple more minutes and realised she wasnt going to be far.
I yawned and closed my eyes for about 3 seconds, when I opened them, a pair of giant green eyes was staring me right in the face.
"Aaaggh!," I squealed, almost runing to the top of the fountain.
It was Lucy, I noticed that she had her Kadabra behind her, so she must of used teleport
"He...hehe..he," I smiled, still rattely about before.
“So are we off?,”Lucy asked
“Yeah, Sure,” I said climbing down from the fountain.”Let’s go”
I looked at my watch, it was 7:20, still no sign of anyone from school.
I was getting uneven and started to catch up with Lucy.
My phone started to ring and vibrate.
“Hold on,” I said to Lucy
I answered it and put it straight to my ear.
“ALISA!!,” A voice called out
“Mom?!,” I questioned “Whats wrong?”
“Raichu laid it’s egg in your room!,” Joanna explained
I took a deep breath of relief and hung up the phone.
“Hey Lucy,” I pointed
“Hmm?,” She raised an eyebrow
“I am taking a day off, say I am sick or something”
I then ran off back to my home as fast as I could, one leg after another.
I opened the door to see my Raichu exhausted on the table. I ran over to it and picked it up and hugged it softly, a tear dropped from the corner of my I as I grinned
“Raichu...Raichu I am so proud,”
“Raaaaaiiiiichhhhuuuuu....u...u”, It’s cry faded out as it shuts it’s eyes.
“...Raichu....Raichu!?....,”
It didn’t respond,
My small tear fell into an oceon of sadness. I fell to my knees , still holding my Raichu over my shoulder.
“Raichu.....Rai.....chu...,” My cheeks became a river and I couldn’t help but scream for my Raichu.
My mom came in and hugged me, still ith my Raichu over my shoulder. She then put an Egg on the table.
“Huh!?,” I questioned, wiping my nose.
“Give me Raichu,” Joanna stepped forward.
I passed her my Raichu and she stood up and lked away.
*Four days later*
“Well, that’s my little Rai, buried,” I mentioned “Isn’t that right...Pichu”
“PICHU PICHU!,” It cried
The end
A tragic story about a girl and her Raichu
New Beginning - Entry - Delta - Pokebeach SSC
It was a cold night when I woke up, still my Raichu hadn't been getting better.
I opened the window as I got out of my bed and I looked at the clouds. They looked so peacful and agile. Like, they could wonder away at
any moment. But they didn't, they always stuck by me, just like my Raichu. I then closed the window and looked at my raichu it was still
getting bigger and bigger. I cared for it I really did. It was going to give birth soon, I just new it, it was two days over due but I still think it can happen within the next two days.
I yawned and whent back to sleep in my pika-bed. Worried about my little Raichu.
The next morning my eevee woke me up by wafting it's tail gainst my nose.
I wafted it away, and when I sat up my Raichu was in the middle of my legs, just sleeping there in it's cute little scrunched up way.
I carefully lifted my legs from under it and started to walk out of my bedroom.
My eevee followed as I didn't close the door. And it rather ponsily walked behind me.
The morning was no better than the night, still a bit cloudy, but a nice pale white colour today.
I walked downstairs, still half awake and rubbing my eyes I noticed from the corner of my eye, my Raichu had woken up. I smiled. And considering it was pregnent I helped it downstairs
(Of course, it weighed like 200 pounds so I couldn't carry it but two feet at a time I helped it downstairs.)
We soon got downstairs and then we got to the kitchen.
"Alisa!," Joanne shouted "Breakfast!,"
"Be there in a sec mom," I replied, still helping my Raichu.
My Raichu waddled along the kitchen floor on two legs, as I held it's front two to keep it stable.
I sat down at the table and started to dig away at my toast, leaving the bread crusts, and giving them to my Raichu. Mom set down a can of poke-blocks for my eevee.
"Rai Rai Rai...chuuuuuu!," Raichu cried
I giggled, and walked into the bathroom.
I came out 10 minutes later with new clothes and hair. I looked at my pachirisu watch, it was 7:10, time to leave for school.
I grabbed my bag and got my belt full of pokeballs from the side and left out of the door while shouting
"I'm off mom!,"
"Ok Dear," My mom said, half getting cut off by the slam of the door.
I walked outside and pulled out my pink, clefairy mobile and dialed my freind, Lucy
I put it to my ear and she picked up,
"Hey are you ready yet?," I asked
"Yep, just about, meet me at the fountain, I'll see you there," She explained in the staticy voice.
I nodded and ended the call, then put it back in my pocket
I put my hand in my pocket and started to walk over to the fountain.
I noticed that the pidgeys were quiete Docile today, like a big day is going to happen.
As usual I walked by the guy who had the poliwhirl, and the game corner was just about to set up shop.
Finally I got to the fountain where Lucy was nowhere in sight.
I waited for a couple more minutes and realised she wasnt going to be far.
I yawned and closed my eyes for about 3 seconds, when I opened them, a pair of giant green eyes was staring me right in the face.
"Aaaggh!," I squealed, almost runing to the top of the fountain.
It was Lucy, I noticed that she had her Kadabra behind her, so she must of used teleport
"He...hehe..he," I smiled, still rattely about before.
“So are we off?,”Lucy asked
“Yeah, Sure,” I said climbing down from the fountain.”Let’s go”
I looked at my watch, it was 7:20, still no sign of anyone from school.
I was getting uneven and started to catch up with Lucy.
My phone started to ring and vibrate.
“Hold on,” I said to Lucy
I answered it and put it straight to my ear.
“ALISA!!,” A voice called out
“Mom?!,” I questioned “Whats wrong?”
“Raichu laid it’s egg in your room!,” Joanna explained
I took a deep breath of relief and hung up the phone.
“Hey Lucy,” I pointed
“Hmm?,” She raised an eyebrow
“I am taking a day off, say I am sick or something”
I then ran off back to my home as fast as I could, one leg after another.
I opened the door to see my Raichu exhausted on the table. I ran over to it and picked it up and hugged it softly, a tear dropped from the corner of my I as I grinned
“Raichu...Raichu I am so proud,”
“Raaaaaiiiiichhhhuuuuu....u...u”, It’s cry faded out as it shuts it’s eyes.
“...Raichu....Raichu!?....,”
It didn’t respond,
My small tear fell into an oceon of sadness. I fell to my knees , still holding my Raichu over my shoulder.
“Raichu.....Rai.....chu...,” My cheeks became a river and I couldn’t help but scream for my Raichu.
My mom came in and hugged me, still ith my Raichu over my shoulder. She then put an Egg on the table.
“Huh!?,” I questioned, wiping my nose.
“Give me Raichu,” Joanna stepped forward.
I passed her my Raichu and she stood up and lked away.
*Four days later*
“Well, that’s my little Rai, buried,” I mentioned “Isn’t that right...Pichu”
“PICHU PICHU!,” It cried
The end
Alright, I'm in. I need to get back into writing.
Nifty.
I'll have to join this. I'll submit something at some point.
I'll have to join this. I'll submit something at some point.
Ho hum, this was once an entry.
I'm in, need to start writting again anyways.
Mousetrap
At first, I liked Dawn. She was quite nice to me, fed me well, and gave me a home. I liked Ash and Brock too, even if they were a bit odd. I mean, they never seem to wash or change their clothes. Eeew, gross. Ash cant be more than 10 years old, but he's the kind of person who thinks they will be 10 forever. He thinks he's Peter Pan or something, on the way to Neverland. And Brock. He's just desperate.
Well hey, I even forgot to introduce myself. I'm Emma. I'm Dawns Buneary. My dream is to show the world what Pokémon really is about. See, I'm a Pokémon rights protestor. You may remember me for one of my more famous campaigns. 'We want Peanut Block - not PokeBlock' was my first big one. Humans treat us like pets. Why should we be forced to eat what looks like pig excretion whilst those humans enjoy sandwiches, which actually look more like rice balls than sandwiches anyway?
I've got a new campaign now. It’s the big one, and I figure if it all goes well then finally us Pokémon will be free. It’s the ill-treatment campaign of Pokémon worldwide. Humans force us to half kill each other, then say if we go to sleep at the Pokémon centre for a couple of seconds it will make everything better? And how come it's always that same girl who pretends to treat you? (She actually just puts you to bed and says: 'Here, all better') I swear her hair is pink. That can’t be natural. People with pink hair generally belong in Emo pop groups, not hospitals.
Anyway, enough about my campaigns. I'm here to tell you a story, to teach you a lesson. I figured its the hardest lesson anyone can learn, but I learnt it the hard way. Don't make my mistakes.
It all started with Pikachu. Pikachu is Ash's favourite Pokémon. He is spoiled sick, and I can’t stand him. Whenever he looks at me, I turn my head in disgust, red-faced. He thinks he's so cute, and swans around trying to be better than everyone else. And then Dawn starts spouting rubbish about how I have a crush on this dude? Is she nuts?
I can't stand Pikachu, I just can't. He makes me sick. He makes me want to kill him. And one day, I decided to do just that. It wouldn’t be a big deal, and it would give me the perfect chance to put the plan I had been waiting to perform all these years into action.
Pikachu always sleeps by Ash's bed. I hate the way he sucks up to him like that, alwyas his favourite. The others hate him too. I guess I'll be doing them all a favour.
"Hey Pikachu," I asked casually.
"Chu?" he replied. It’s always odd. Why can other Pokémon only speak using their names? How can I understand what 'Chu' means? It’s also strange though. When other trainers speak to me, they look at me as if I've spoken gibberish. I ask for a snack, and they look at me as if I've said 'Meow!' or 'Neary-Bun-Bun!' or something stupid like those other Pokémon do.
"Come on outside," I told him.
"Chu Chu Pi," Pikachu replied. I couldn’t understand what he meant but I figured it was a yes. What an idiot. Completely naive, the lot of them. It’s like they don't live in the real world at all.
I took Pikachu's hand and he blushed slightly. I dragged him outside, all smiles. He looked strangely happy. But I didn’t feel sorry for him. Emotion was useless during a murder. It would only make me think about what I was doing, and when the time came, I might not be able to bring myself to do it.
And then, my foot landed on earthy soil and I knew we had come to the end of the tent. The time was here.
Do it now! My instincts told me. But not yet. I had to wait until we were further away from the tent.
We walked a bit further, hand in hand, until we came to the entrance to a forest. The tent was about twenty meters away now. My chance. I had to do it here.
"Hey Pikachu," I asked. "How about a small battle?"
"Pi-pi!" he replied excitedly. Loser. I couldn't stand him, even though I knew his time was coming to an end. No emotions, I reminded myself. Feel no sympathy.
Pikachu surged forward, building up a charge. A volt tackle. Pah, easy stuff. I waited until the very last second, and then just before he could reach me, stepped aside swiftly. Pikachu smashed headfirst into the tree, and I took my chance instantly. I grabbed some vines from a nearby bush, and tied him to the tree. Dawn had given me a rock smash HM recently, and I figured it should come into play.
I lashed out one blow after another on the flailing mouse, until he lay still. His eyes formed swirling patterns and he dropped to the floor, slipping out of the vines. I picked some of the vines up, and tied them around Pikachu's neck. They would find him tomorrow, hanging from the tree. But they wouldn't notice buneary was missing until later. Much later.
And this was it. My chance. This was the moment I'd been waiting for for so many years now.
I hated travelling with Ash and Dawn and the rest of those Muppets. It was time to make a quick getaway. Away from the torture of Pokémon battling. Away from the pain of another Pokémon-block meal that tasted of live wurmples. Away from those incompetent team Rocket losers who called themselves bad guys. It was pathetic, the whole thing.
Enough noise had been made to awaken Ash and the rest of them, perfect. I slipped into the forest, unnoticed. The perfect getaway. Pikachu's death would be the perfect distraction. If I had slipped away in the middle of the night, everyone would have noticed I was gone the moment they woke up, and immediately found me. But this way, they would be too busy dealing with Pikachu to notice. They wouldn't realise I was gone until the next day. And by that time, I would be long gone.
A new life. A life on the run perhaps? A life in the wild? A life of crime maybe? The possibilities were endless.
But it didn't matter what I would do. I was away from the tortures of the world of Ash and Dawn, and all those other idiotic humans.
For the first time in years, I was free.
I think I'll join, I could use a good challenge, hopefully I'll get it in on time.
PMJ
Silhouette Gloom of the Sundown Lands
Forum Head
Articles Head
Elite Member
Advanced Member
Member
Those who follow my story know that I plan to work on a second Pokemon story after I finish my first one.
It's based on Mystery Dungeon - it's meant to be a sequel to Explorers of T/D.
I'm trashing that fic. However, all is not lost. My new new fic is a sequel to Platinum, and it features a main character who isn't eight years old.
I'll have a few notes after the end of this. It is under 3,000 words, believe it or not - it sits at roughly 2,350. Enjoy!
- begin -
In an office somewhere in Sinnoh, a young man sat at a desk. A teenage boy, five or six years the man's junior, stood next to him. The two of them watched intently as a reporter delivered the morning news.
"Our top story tonight: Team Galactic Commander Robert Dranix was arrested late last evening by undercover International Police agents at Stark Mountain. Authorities speculate Dranix, more commonly known by the code name "Charon," was attempting to create an artificial eruption of the mountain. Details are sketchy at this point, but..."
"I suppose the old man couldn't... take the heat?" the green-haired boy asked, chuckling a bit at his own joke.
"Shut up," his blue-haired supervisor scolded him. "I'm watching this." The two men returned their attention to the television.
"International Police are still searching for 27-year-old Alan Cyrus, leader of Team Galactic, who vanished two weeks ago after being seen headed into Mt. Coronet. Cyrus's top two subordinates, 22-year-old Lisa "Jupiter" Callimede and 19-year old Shirley "Mars" Pheimos, are rumored to be with him. Twenty-four-year-old Rick "Saturn" Tethas has not been seen since the explosion at Lake Valor late last month and is presumed in hiding. A reward continues to --"
The TV was clicked off. The man at the desk sighed. "I knew bringing that old man on board was bad news. He'll probably talk in exchange for a reduced sentence, the senile old fool."
The one with green hair was hesitant to speak. "C-Commander Saturn..."
"What is it?!" he snapped back.
"W-with Commander Charon gone, and Commanders Mars and Jupiter missing along with Master Cyrus... you're the only one left."
Saturn rose from his chair in flash and introduced the boy's face to the back of his hand. "Don't you think I know that?!" he screamed. The young man fell to the ground, clutching the place where he'd been struck. Tears filled his eyes, threatening to spill over at the slightest provocation. "Worm. I don't need you to sit here and tell me the obvious!"
"Y-yes, sir," the grunt responded meekly, embarrassed and now emotionally as well as physically hurt by Saturn.
Saturn flipped on a switch attached to a device on the desk. Grabbing a microphone, he spoke into it. "Attention all maggots. Saturn here. I'm calling a meeting in the lunch room in ten minutes. I expect all of you to be there." Without another word, he switched off the intercom. "Get up," Saturn spat to the grunt below him. The grunt scrambled to his feet, fearing he would anger his boss further. "What did you come here for, anyway?"
"I... actually, I came to report that Commander Charon was arrested last night, but then they said it on the news, and..."
Saturn pinched the bridge of his nose, a pained look in his eyes. Things were going to be so different from now on..." You're excused. And I expect to see you at that meeting. You are dismissed."
"Y-yes, sir!" the grunt managed a salute before bolting out of the room, overjoyed he could get away.
Saturn sat at the chair behind the desk, reclined his feet on the table, and smiled. Normally reserved for Cyrus, Saturn had taken it upon himself to enjoy the boss's quarters in Cyrus's absence. Now, after two long weeks of waiting for word from any of his peers, he had decided he was going to take things into his own hands.
Yes... things were definitely going to be different.
Saturn came to the specified meeting point and surveyed his kingdom. Two thousand "men," most of them teenagers not much older than sixteen, were his to command. He imagined that there would be some unrest with Cyrus's most loyal subordinates, but for the most part, this should go pretty well. He approached the podium located at the front of the room and addressed his crew.
"All right, listen up," the blue-haired man began. Instantly, all the men ceased their conversation and paid attention to the older man before them. "I'll make this brief. As I'm sure some of you already know, Charon was arrested by the police last night. I think it's safe to say that he's not coming back.
"You all are aware of Cyrus's plans for a new world order. Two weeks ago, Cyrus, Mars, and Jupiter ascended Mt. Coronet to make that happen. None of them have returned since then. Because we can only assume them dead, I am hereby naming myself leader of Team Galactic. According to Galactic law, I am obligated to accept challenges from anyone who thinks he can do a better job than me. If there are any among you who thinks he can take me on, let him speak up now."
Murmurs arose among the crowd. Was Saturn off his rocker? One of the veteran grunts decided to ask just that. "Are you out of your mind? Master Cyrus has only been gone two weeks! You can't just take over!"
Saturn chuckled. "Oh, can't I? Cyrus is more than likely trapped forever in the Distortion World. Why else would he abandon all of us, his loyal followers? He's gone and he's not coming back. I don't know where Mars and Jupiter went, but it's obvious that they don't care, either. I will turn this organization into something far better than Cyrus ever dreamed it could be. As we are now, we are weak, with few numbers and fewer resources. But under my leadership, we will rise again! Now, I ask again - is there anyone out there who would challenge me for my spot as leader?"
The crowd grew more uneasy. None of them really felt okay with betraying Cyrus. They had faith in their leader, as well as his dream. Surely you can't create a new world in two short weeks? All the grunts knew, however, that the only way they'd get out of this mess was to challenge Saturn directly, and that was usually a bad idea. He was commander for a reason; the best lieutenants were hardly a match for him. Still, there had to be someone among them who would at least try to stop this usurper from having his way...
A young lady pushed herself through the crowd. Straightening out her uniform, she brushed aside a lock of golden yellow hair and spoke in a soft voice. "Commander Saturn, I hereby challenge you for the right of leadership of Team Galactic."
Saturn was taken aback slightly by this. He didn't really think anyone had the spine to challenge him, let alone a girl as timid-looking as she. He curled his lips into a smile. This would be cake. He approached the young girl. "State your name and rank, soldier."
"Lieutenant Ariel Despina, sir," she replied, saluting her superior.
Saturn looked at her oddly. She was seriously challenging him? "How old are you, Lt. Despina?"
Without a moment's hesitation, she answered. "Sixteen, sir."
Saturn's interest was piqued. "A lieutenant at 16? You must be quite skilled."
Ariel nodded. "Yes, sir."
"You think you can beat me, you filth?"
Ariel glared at him. "Are you dumb? I just challenged you! I wouldn't have done it if I didn't."
"Hahaha! Very well! I accept your challenge. We'll battle in the arena. Be there in fifteen minutes." Saturn turned to the rest of the crowd now. "The rest of you will be there!"
Saturn gave one last look at his challenger and left. As he kept all his Pokemon on hand, he did not have any need to go anywhere except the arena. A good number of grunts followed him, most of them grunts who reported directly to Saturn, as well as a few who supported Saturn's takeover.
The blue-haired commander took a moment to consider his battle plan. "Hmm... I don't have much to use, no thanks to Cyrus. Toxicroak ought to get me through this battle, though. There's no way that little whelp will be able to do any major damage to my Pokemon, but I can't go easy on her. My dream is at stake here... I will crush her into the dirt, destroy any others dumb enough to take me on, and then maybe I can get started turning this embarrassment Cyrus calls Team Galactic into an organization to be feared!"
Fifteen minutes later, all the members gathered at the arena to watch the battle against Saturn and Ariel.
On the girl's side of the field, Ariel was being given some last-minute advice.
"You sure you wanna go up against the commander?" a fellow lieutenant asked.
"I am very sure," Ariel answered him calmly. "I don't like Commander Saturn. I would love to be able to tell him what to do for a change. I realize it's a long shot, but don't forget that I'm the challenger, so I decide the battle rules. As the challenged, he's not allowed to refuse. If he does, he automatically loses. If I force him to fight in a way that is advantageous to me, I can come out on top."
"If you say so. I'll be rooting for you."
Another lieutenant approached the center of the arena, serving as the official in this match. Saturn and Ariel met by the ref, where they discussed the rules of the battle.
Saturn wasted no time in getting things started. "You know how it works. State your rules."
"As you wish. We will each use one Pokemon each with none in reserve. However, neither of us may use an attack that is super effective on the opponent's Pokemon. Those are my conditions."
Saturn laughed. "I see... you know I have no choice but to accept, so let's do this already."
As the two combatants took their places on their side of the arena, the referee explained the battle's rules, and what was at stake.
"You may release your Pokemon when ready!"
Saturn flung his Poke Ball down. "Toxicroak, come on!"
Ariel likewise tossed her Poke Ball into the arena. "Crobat, I choose you!"
The second Saturn laid eyes on Ariel's Pokemon, he knew he was in trouble. "This isn't good... curse her! I can't believe I didn't see this coming... nearly all my attacks are useless!"
Ariel smiled. She saw the look on Saturn's face when she sent out her Pokemon. "Good. He's squirming. Perfect." She gave the first command. "Crobat, Heat Wave!"
Saturn cringed, hating himself for letting himself get put at such a disadvantage. Still, he was not about to let this stop him. "Very clever. Toxicroak, Sucker Punch!"
Now it was Ariel's turn to cringe. Just as Crobat began to blow his hot breath, Toxicroak smashed him with a fist, sending Crobat reeling. Saturn chuckled. "I will admit that it was a good plan, trying to take advantage of my Toxicroak's ability like that. However, I won't be bested so easily! Toxicroak, Bounce!"
Ariel looked in shock as Toxicroak leaped high into the air, ready to make the pounce. She had to be quick in giving her order. "Crobat, Double Team, then follow it up with another Heat Wave!"
As Toxicroak crashed into the ground, Crobat swiftly encircled him with several illusory copies. Saturn was prepared this time, however. "You think you can beat me with such petty tricks? Toxicroak, Protect!"
No sooner did Saturn give the command did Toxicroak throw up the protective barrier; the heated air attack dissipated harmlessly when it hit. As the copies began to dissipate, Saturn went on the offensive. "Toxicroak, Return attack!"
Toxicroak was on Crobat in a flash, slamming into him with great force. The two Pokemon crashed into the floor, Toxicroak attempting to pin Crobat, and the bat desperately trying to escape.
Saturn did not give Ariel a chance to retaliate. "Finish it up! Bullet Punch!"
Toxicroak complied, delivering countless jabs into Crobat's rapidly weakening body. It wasn't looking good for Ariel. "I wasn't expecting this... darn it! At this rate..." She made one final attempt at attack. "Crobat, Screech!"
It was too late, however. The flurry of Bullet Punches had taken its toll on Crobat. He had fainted. "This match is over." Saturn extended an arm. "You've done well, Toxicroak. Rest now."
Ariel was crushed. She thought for sure that this plan would have worked. Who knew that Saturn's Toxicroak knew such a wide variety of moves... perhaps it wouldn't be so bad having Saturn as a leader.
No, she thought. It wouldn't do any good to think that way. She would have to accept this loss gracefully and return to planning. Trying her best to hide her shame and disappointment, she brought Crobat back into her Poke Ball. She headed to the center to meet her opponent for the standard post-game handshake.
"Well played, Master Saturn," Ariel congratulated the victor and offered her hand.
Much to her surprise, Saturn accepted it. "You didn't do so bad yourself... you nearly beat me. You caught me off guard and forced me to work a lot harder than I had planned. I need strong fighters like you. How would you like to work directly for me? With Mars and Jupiter gone, I'll need someone with your skills. What do you say?"
Ariel lit up at Saturn's suggestion. Perhaps this could work out for her after all. "Oh, the mighty Saturn wishes to enlist the help of the filthy maggot, eh?"
"Yes, well, soldiers with your ability are few and far between. I respect those who prove to me that they are skilled enough to earn it. You've done just that."
"I see. Well then, Master Saturn, I accept your offer. Thank you."
"Hmph. Don't think I won't be any easier on you in the future. The second I think you've gotten weak, you're gone." He paused a moment. "Your code name is Venus. Don't disappoint me."
The newly christened Commander Venus smiled. She may not have been running the show, but second in line wasn't bad. This would be perfect. "No, sir. I wouldn't dream of it."
- end -
Now, don't you think that was a great idea? No one thinks of the bad guys!
I decided to use Saturn mainly because he quite literally serves NO PURPOSE in the games. He's dead weight. He's introduced far too late in the story to mean anything other than "oh, he's Team Galactic, better stop him." Lame. Him taking over Team Galactic seemed like a good way to show his ruthless side
Sucks to be you if you're looking forward to the main story - it's a LONG way off. The story won't be told from Saturn or Venus's points of view, either - all the more reason why this served as an excellent choice for my submission.
I personally thought that the commanders of Team Galactic were using code names. I mean, I don't care who you are, NO ONE names their kids after planets. I think it makes perfect sense like this, and it gives me an excuse to have Shirley live on, even not as a Buneary
The exception to this rule is Cyrus. While honestly I think it sounds like more of a first name, it doesn't make sense to me to have him be the only one referred to by his first name, so I took a bit of artistic license and made it his last name. I'm so awesome :O
It's based on Mystery Dungeon - it's meant to be a sequel to Explorers of T/D.
I'm trashing that fic. However, all is not lost. My new new fic is a sequel to Platinum, and it features a main character who isn't eight years old.
I'll have a few notes after the end of this. It is under 3,000 words, believe it or not - it sits at roughly 2,350. Enjoy!
- begin -
Rise to Power
In an office somewhere in Sinnoh, a young man sat at a desk. A teenage boy, five or six years the man's junior, stood next to him. The two of them watched intently as a reporter delivered the morning news.
"Our top story tonight: Team Galactic Commander Robert Dranix was arrested late last evening by undercover International Police agents at Stark Mountain. Authorities speculate Dranix, more commonly known by the code name "Charon," was attempting to create an artificial eruption of the mountain. Details are sketchy at this point, but..."
"I suppose the old man couldn't... take the heat?" the green-haired boy asked, chuckling a bit at his own joke.
"Shut up," his blue-haired supervisor scolded him. "I'm watching this." The two men returned their attention to the television.
"International Police are still searching for 27-year-old Alan Cyrus, leader of Team Galactic, who vanished two weeks ago after being seen headed into Mt. Coronet. Cyrus's top two subordinates, 22-year-old Lisa "Jupiter" Callimede and 19-year old Shirley "Mars" Pheimos, are rumored to be with him. Twenty-four-year-old Rick "Saturn" Tethas has not been seen since the explosion at Lake Valor late last month and is presumed in hiding. A reward continues to --"
The TV was clicked off. The man at the desk sighed. "I knew bringing that old man on board was bad news. He'll probably talk in exchange for a reduced sentence, the senile old fool."
The one with green hair was hesitant to speak. "C-Commander Saturn..."
"What is it?!" he snapped back.
"W-with Commander Charon gone, and Commanders Mars and Jupiter missing along with Master Cyrus... you're the only one left."
Saturn rose from his chair in flash and introduced the boy's face to the back of his hand. "Don't you think I know that?!" he screamed. The young man fell to the ground, clutching the place where he'd been struck. Tears filled his eyes, threatening to spill over at the slightest provocation. "Worm. I don't need you to sit here and tell me the obvious!"
"Y-yes, sir," the grunt responded meekly, embarrassed and now emotionally as well as physically hurt by Saturn.
Saturn flipped on a switch attached to a device on the desk. Grabbing a microphone, he spoke into it. "Attention all maggots. Saturn here. I'm calling a meeting in the lunch room in ten minutes. I expect all of you to be there." Without another word, he switched off the intercom. "Get up," Saturn spat to the grunt below him. The grunt scrambled to his feet, fearing he would anger his boss further. "What did you come here for, anyway?"
"I... actually, I came to report that Commander Charon was arrested last night, but then they said it on the news, and..."
Saturn pinched the bridge of his nose, a pained look in his eyes. Things were going to be so different from now on..." You're excused. And I expect to see you at that meeting. You are dismissed."
"Y-yes, sir!" the grunt managed a salute before bolting out of the room, overjoyed he could get away.
Saturn sat at the chair behind the desk, reclined his feet on the table, and smiled. Normally reserved for Cyrus, Saturn had taken it upon himself to enjoy the boss's quarters in Cyrus's absence. Now, after two long weeks of waiting for word from any of his peers, he had decided he was going to take things into his own hands.
Yes... things were definitely going to be different.
Saturn came to the specified meeting point and surveyed his kingdom. Two thousand "men," most of them teenagers not much older than sixteen, were his to command. He imagined that there would be some unrest with Cyrus's most loyal subordinates, but for the most part, this should go pretty well. He approached the podium located at the front of the room and addressed his crew.
"All right, listen up," the blue-haired man began. Instantly, all the men ceased their conversation and paid attention to the older man before them. "I'll make this brief. As I'm sure some of you already know, Charon was arrested by the police last night. I think it's safe to say that he's not coming back.
"You all are aware of Cyrus's plans for a new world order. Two weeks ago, Cyrus, Mars, and Jupiter ascended Mt. Coronet to make that happen. None of them have returned since then. Because we can only assume them dead, I am hereby naming myself leader of Team Galactic. According to Galactic law, I am obligated to accept challenges from anyone who thinks he can do a better job than me. If there are any among you who thinks he can take me on, let him speak up now."
Murmurs arose among the crowd. Was Saturn off his rocker? One of the veteran grunts decided to ask just that. "Are you out of your mind? Master Cyrus has only been gone two weeks! You can't just take over!"
Saturn chuckled. "Oh, can't I? Cyrus is more than likely trapped forever in the Distortion World. Why else would he abandon all of us, his loyal followers? He's gone and he's not coming back. I don't know where Mars and Jupiter went, but it's obvious that they don't care, either. I will turn this organization into something far better than Cyrus ever dreamed it could be. As we are now, we are weak, with few numbers and fewer resources. But under my leadership, we will rise again! Now, I ask again - is there anyone out there who would challenge me for my spot as leader?"
The crowd grew more uneasy. None of them really felt okay with betraying Cyrus. They had faith in their leader, as well as his dream. Surely you can't create a new world in two short weeks? All the grunts knew, however, that the only way they'd get out of this mess was to challenge Saturn directly, and that was usually a bad idea. He was commander for a reason; the best lieutenants were hardly a match for him. Still, there had to be someone among them who would at least try to stop this usurper from having his way...
A young lady pushed herself through the crowd. Straightening out her uniform, she brushed aside a lock of golden yellow hair and spoke in a soft voice. "Commander Saturn, I hereby challenge you for the right of leadership of Team Galactic."
Saturn was taken aback slightly by this. He didn't really think anyone had the spine to challenge him, let alone a girl as timid-looking as she. He curled his lips into a smile. This would be cake. He approached the young girl. "State your name and rank, soldier."
"Lieutenant Ariel Despina, sir," she replied, saluting her superior.
Saturn looked at her oddly. She was seriously challenging him? "How old are you, Lt. Despina?"
Without a moment's hesitation, she answered. "Sixteen, sir."
Saturn's interest was piqued. "A lieutenant at 16? You must be quite skilled."
Ariel nodded. "Yes, sir."
"You think you can beat me, you filth?"
Ariel glared at him. "Are you dumb? I just challenged you! I wouldn't have done it if I didn't."
"Hahaha! Very well! I accept your challenge. We'll battle in the arena. Be there in fifteen minutes." Saturn turned to the rest of the crowd now. "The rest of you will be there!"
Saturn gave one last look at his challenger and left. As he kept all his Pokemon on hand, he did not have any need to go anywhere except the arena. A good number of grunts followed him, most of them grunts who reported directly to Saturn, as well as a few who supported Saturn's takeover.
The blue-haired commander took a moment to consider his battle plan. "Hmm... I don't have much to use, no thanks to Cyrus. Toxicroak ought to get me through this battle, though. There's no way that little whelp will be able to do any major damage to my Pokemon, but I can't go easy on her. My dream is at stake here... I will crush her into the dirt, destroy any others dumb enough to take me on, and then maybe I can get started turning this embarrassment Cyrus calls Team Galactic into an organization to be feared!"
Fifteen minutes later, all the members gathered at the arena to watch the battle against Saturn and Ariel.
On the girl's side of the field, Ariel was being given some last-minute advice.
"You sure you wanna go up against the commander?" a fellow lieutenant asked.
"I am very sure," Ariel answered him calmly. "I don't like Commander Saturn. I would love to be able to tell him what to do for a change. I realize it's a long shot, but don't forget that I'm the challenger, so I decide the battle rules. As the challenged, he's not allowed to refuse. If he does, he automatically loses. If I force him to fight in a way that is advantageous to me, I can come out on top."
"If you say so. I'll be rooting for you."
Another lieutenant approached the center of the arena, serving as the official in this match. Saturn and Ariel met by the ref, where they discussed the rules of the battle.
Saturn wasted no time in getting things started. "You know how it works. State your rules."
"As you wish. We will each use one Pokemon each with none in reserve. However, neither of us may use an attack that is super effective on the opponent's Pokemon. Those are my conditions."
Saturn laughed. "I see... you know I have no choice but to accept, so let's do this already."
As the two combatants took their places on their side of the arena, the referee explained the battle's rules, and what was at stake.
"You may release your Pokemon when ready!"
Saturn flung his Poke Ball down. "Toxicroak, come on!"
Ariel likewise tossed her Poke Ball into the arena. "Crobat, I choose you!"
The second Saturn laid eyes on Ariel's Pokemon, he knew he was in trouble. "This isn't good... curse her! I can't believe I didn't see this coming... nearly all my attacks are useless!"
Ariel smiled. She saw the look on Saturn's face when she sent out her Pokemon. "Good. He's squirming. Perfect." She gave the first command. "Crobat, Heat Wave!"
Saturn cringed, hating himself for letting himself get put at such a disadvantage. Still, he was not about to let this stop him. "Very clever. Toxicroak, Sucker Punch!"
Now it was Ariel's turn to cringe. Just as Crobat began to blow his hot breath, Toxicroak smashed him with a fist, sending Crobat reeling. Saturn chuckled. "I will admit that it was a good plan, trying to take advantage of my Toxicroak's ability like that. However, I won't be bested so easily! Toxicroak, Bounce!"
Ariel looked in shock as Toxicroak leaped high into the air, ready to make the pounce. She had to be quick in giving her order. "Crobat, Double Team, then follow it up with another Heat Wave!"
As Toxicroak crashed into the ground, Crobat swiftly encircled him with several illusory copies. Saturn was prepared this time, however. "You think you can beat me with such petty tricks? Toxicroak, Protect!"
No sooner did Saturn give the command did Toxicroak throw up the protective barrier; the heated air attack dissipated harmlessly when it hit. As the copies began to dissipate, Saturn went on the offensive. "Toxicroak, Return attack!"
Toxicroak was on Crobat in a flash, slamming into him with great force. The two Pokemon crashed into the floor, Toxicroak attempting to pin Crobat, and the bat desperately trying to escape.
Saturn did not give Ariel a chance to retaliate. "Finish it up! Bullet Punch!"
Toxicroak complied, delivering countless jabs into Crobat's rapidly weakening body. It wasn't looking good for Ariel. "I wasn't expecting this... darn it! At this rate..." She made one final attempt at attack. "Crobat, Screech!"
It was too late, however. The flurry of Bullet Punches had taken its toll on Crobat. He had fainted. "This match is over." Saturn extended an arm. "You've done well, Toxicroak. Rest now."
Ariel was crushed. She thought for sure that this plan would have worked. Who knew that Saturn's Toxicroak knew such a wide variety of moves... perhaps it wouldn't be so bad having Saturn as a leader.
No, she thought. It wouldn't do any good to think that way. She would have to accept this loss gracefully and return to planning. Trying her best to hide her shame and disappointment, she brought Crobat back into her Poke Ball. She headed to the center to meet her opponent for the standard post-game handshake.
"Well played, Master Saturn," Ariel congratulated the victor and offered her hand.
Much to her surprise, Saturn accepted it. "You didn't do so bad yourself... you nearly beat me. You caught me off guard and forced me to work a lot harder than I had planned. I need strong fighters like you. How would you like to work directly for me? With Mars and Jupiter gone, I'll need someone with your skills. What do you say?"
Ariel lit up at Saturn's suggestion. Perhaps this could work out for her after all. "Oh, the mighty Saturn wishes to enlist the help of the filthy maggot, eh?"
"Yes, well, soldiers with your ability are few and far between. I respect those who prove to me that they are skilled enough to earn it. You've done just that."
"I see. Well then, Master Saturn, I accept your offer. Thank you."
"Hmph. Don't think I won't be any easier on you in the future. The second I think you've gotten weak, you're gone." He paused a moment. "Your code name is Venus. Don't disappoint me."
The newly christened Commander Venus smiled. She may not have been running the show, but second in line wasn't bad. This would be perfect. "No, sir. I wouldn't dream of it."
- end -
Now, don't you think that was a great idea? No one thinks of the bad guys!
I decided to use Saturn mainly because he quite literally serves NO PURPOSE in the games. He's dead weight. He's introduced far too late in the story to mean anything other than "oh, he's Team Galactic, better stop him." Lame. Him taking over Team Galactic seemed like a good way to show his ruthless side
Sucks to be you if you're looking forward to the main story - it's a LONG way off. The story won't be told from Saturn or Venus's points of view, either - all the more reason why this served as an excellent choice for my submission.
I personally thought that the commanders of Team Galactic were using code names. I mean, I don't care who you are, NO ONE names their kids after planets. I think it makes perfect sense like this, and it gives me an excuse to have Shirley live on, even not as a Buneary
The exception to this rule is Cyrus. While honestly I think it sounds like more of a first name, it doesn't make sense to me to have him be the only one referred to by his first name, so I took a bit of artistic license and made it his last name. I'm so awesome :OEr..can I like Unjoin? I can't find where I exttracted my story when saving to documents, and the search engine isn't workinggggg
It failed anyway but w/e
/me leaves a note and some cookies by PMJ's kitchen
It failed anyway but w/e
/me leaves a note and some cookies by PMJ's kitchen
Go ahead and sign me up. My chapter might be a day late, but no one is reading anyway @u@
Fridge said:
That's not very productive!I like PMJ, but he's no god.
Bam said:good*
*highfive*
Umm Fridge, Pikachu is a girl and Buneary is a boy.
- Status