Writing The Bridge (Poem)

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Clownshateu2

RIP Pokemon TCG: 1996 - 2011.
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Life is like a bridge, over Death's Devine
One small slip, and your soul is Mine.
Upon the One who has chosen there Fate
All mortals learn is how to Hate.
Few understand how to get Across
Was it because of the man perched upon that Cross?
Why do people cry as if stabbed by the Sheath
Like the wolfs in the night who bear their Teeth?
Anger consumes like a open flame
Impossible to calm, impossible to Tame
Life is like a bridge, each plank representing one's Soul
And sacraficing yourself is the only Toll.
 
It's a little confusing for me. I'm sorry, I just don't get the part about everything bad. I guess you are trying to talk about having bad things in life happen to you? And in your third line, "there" is supposed to "their." Sorry again, I didn't really like it.
 
How does one get stabbed by a sheath? Even Mitsurugi only used his to smack people. I'm also a little curious as to why the last word of every line is capitalized.

Honestly, the poem just is not that interesting at all. The rhyming seems a little forced, too. AABBCC rhyme scheme usually doesn't work too well nowadays.
 
Well to answer questions - Sheath in a meaning or nickname for a type of object to impale one. Another - The last word of every line is capitilized for a reason, and if read and observed enough, will tell you the position of the speaker and who is the antagonist. And the only way to express this code is in the AABBCC codet. So logical, I assume?

Its fine. Its a very biblical type style, and those who dont understand it shouldn't leave negative comments, for they dont even understand the plot. Also, I noticed about the "there" part but I dont feel like fixing it. Too lazy

Also, how can one who is a so called "Good plot writer" understand the simplicty of blissfulness and take a few seconds to connect this to somthing related. Tsk Tsk, how I hate the ones who try to over power others. And in the literal sense, your questions and relation are pretty obnoxious.
 
But you too make a comment relating it to something obserd is an excuse to be a critic at all? Check yourself before you wreck yourself. And before you comment my poems, at least see a bit of understanding.... ignorance is bliss.
 
Don't let the rhyme scheme constraint your word choice. If you're letting the rhyming scheme limit your vocabulary, your poem is almost bound to sound forced.
 
Ugh, should've gotten to this last night... Sorry, but I have to stop this before it devolves further into a flame war, so I'm going to have to close it.

Clownshateu2: You have to learn how to take a little criticism. If people think it's bad, it's bad. All you can do is take their advise and rewrite your poetry, fiction, etc.

*locked*
 
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