Writing The Mall Murder

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Chapter 5. No school today, kinda want to update this.

The Mall Murder-Chapter 5

"So, you are saying that you were hit on the head by something hard, and then you just went out cold?" Skitty asked Meowth.

"Something like that," Meowth responded. "All I know was that after I woke up, my head was throbbing."

"Hey, didn't that happen to Girafarig too?" Glameow asked.

"Hmm," Skitty thought to herself. She tried to remember the conversation between her and Girafarig. She couldn't put her finger on it, but there was something odd about the Girafarig. "Maybe."

"Hey, I just remembered something," Glameow said. "Don't you remember when we talked to Miltank and Jumpluff? Well, didn't something seem off about them as well? Like how Jumpluff was never floating in the air, always on the ground?"

"What are you getting at?" Skitty asked.

"Well, how did they not know about the murder at the fountain if that old Smeargle, the chef, who works all day in the kitchen, and hadn't gone out of the shop all day knew about it?" Glameow continued.

"Just cut to the chase already!" Skitty interrupted.

"What I'm saying is that Miltank and Jumpluff had just gotten into the mall before the murder took place. I think we should stop by the shops again," Glameow said. "I want to talk to Miltank and Jumpluff."

"If you say so," Skitty said. They began to walk towards the ice cream shop, and Glameow said to herself, "If that is their real names."

--------------------------

"MMMMMMMMM! MMMMMMMMM!" a voice mumbled.

"This isn't the answer! There is another way to do this!" one of the voices screamed out.

"It's the only way," another voice said. "It has to happen now."

The voice threw the other voice out of the room. A shriek was heard only once. After the shriek, there as no more noise, except for the sound of the voice's breathing.

"Hmph," the voice said. It walked outside. "The deed.. is done."

------------------

The group walked into the shop. It was quieter as usual, with only a few people inside.

"Hello again!" Miltank greeted them.

"Hi," Skitty said. "We need to talk to you."

"About what, my dear?" Miltank asked.

"Well, see," Glameow started. And she told her theory to Miltank, not skipping any details. Miltank took a step back.

"It wasn't me!" Miltank defended herself, all of a sudden. "I promise, I had nothing to do with it!"

"Just a second, Miltank, I need to talk to my friends," Skitty said. They walked over to a table.

"I don't mean to bring this up, Glameow, but do you remember the accident that happened here ten years ago?" Skitty asked.

Glameow looked appalled. "Why do you ask this?"

"Not to interrupt, but what was the accident?" Meowth asked.

"Here, I'll tell it to you," Skitty told Meowth.

And so she began. Ten years go, in the very same mall, one person named Tyler Simons tried to expand the mall for more things. Some agreed, until they figured out he was destroying homes to do this. As a result, the mall was destroyed in some paces, including parts of the Northern Area. Nobody liked Tyler for this, and he fled the mall, and the the country, to work on unknown plans. Some tried to figure out what he was doing, but never succeeded, and they came back to their homes with no memory of anything.

"That's 'orrible!" Meowth exclaimed in horror.

They walked up to Miltank. "Okay, Miltank, do you know anything about Tyler Simons?" Skitty asked.

Miltank began sweating milk. "I know nothing of the sort. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I know you have been working here since the accident, and thought you would remember anything," Skitty said to her.

"Maybe you should ask Jumpluff," Miltank told them.

"Okay, thanks for your help!" Meowth thanked her.

They walked out of the store. Glameow's suspicions had been growing since she explained to Skitty about them.

"Hey, you!" someone yelled. The big man with the beard was behind them.

Skitty and Meowth began to run away, but Glameow stayed put.

"Listen, we need to talk," he said.

"Glameow, come on!" Skitty told her.

"Wait a minute," Glameow said. "So you are the one I have been hearing about. I knew Chatot was your prized possesion all this time."

The man stood in shock, speechless. Skitty and Meowth ran away.

"So it's you, isn't it? You can be honest."

The man sighed. "What do you want.."

"Come with me," she said. "I want you to meet a very special person."

The man walked with Glameow to Jumpluff's shop. Inside, she saw Purugly.

"Purugly, I would like you to meet a very special person," Glameow said to Purugly.

She turned around. "..."

"Stay here," Glameow said. "I'm going to get everyone in here."

So Glameow gathered everyone in the room. Skitty, Meowth, the Persians, Miltank, Smeragle, and Dunsparce.

"So, I'm sure everyone a this point is very confused and want to know what is going on," Glameow said. "I am here to clear a few things up. Everyone got nervous, including Glameow.

"First, let me just say this: most of you in this room know of the accident that happened ten years ago. I'm sure some of you were appalled about the event, and even my friend Skitty has not figured this out. But I should say, on a side note, that I am a secret agent."

Skitty stood on the rug her mouth wide open. "Why didn't you tell me this?" she asked.

"If I had, it would have been a war between us to find out what is going on. The next thing: All of you in this room, except for me, have been being used as a pawn."

"What do you mean by that?" Meowth asked.

"What I mean is, someone in this room is using everyone for something important," Glameow explained. "Girafarig was a fake, and so is Meowth."

Meowth looked shocked. "How did you know?" he asked.

"When you talked to Jumpluff, you said that you had talked to many Skiploom in England. There is only one Skiploom in England, and that is Jumpluff's brother."

".No.." Meowth mumbled to himself.

"Furthermore, Meowth is not even from England." She pointed to the two Persian. "Those Persian are his parents, and as for his real identity: he is Tyler Simon's assistant," she revealed.

Glameow closed the door in the shop. "Next, the whole mud incident was also a fake, another of the mastermind's moves."

Everyone was talking to eachother like crazy.

"There are things that are even more important than everything I have said so far. And so, the Absol murder was not the only murder," Glameow continued.

Everyone was silent.

"I figured this out by examining the scene while I had been separated from Meowth and Skitty, and then I examined the movie theater scene. The blood examples do not match: and so, I have come to a conclusion that there has been two murders," she explained.

"What?" Skitty asked.

"Both murders had been done by the same person, and that person is someone in this room. But the thing is, they are under a disguise," Glameow continued on.

"Hmmm.." Skitty thought to herself. She stood up. "Glameow, I think I know what you are getting at, and I too know the murderer. May I take it from here?"

"All yours," Glameow told her.

"Well, I want to clear up that the man over there, that you see right now, is Tyler Simons," Skitty explained.

"Hmph.." Tyler mumbled.

"He has been causing trouble this entire time and making everyone miserable. And he is the person who created all of the incidents around here, including the muddy Meowth," Skitty explained.

"But why would he do that to his own assistant?" Smeargle asked.

"Because it was just another part of his plan," Skitty explanied. She turned to Tyler. "But do you know you have been being used this entire time?" she asked him.

His eyes were open wide.

"And that person..." Skitty said, "is right over there!"

She pointed to Purugly.

"I believe there's been a misunderstanding," Purugly said.

"Just give it up, your real identity," Skitty said to Purugly. "Or should I say... Absol."

Purugly grinned. She put her hand behind her back. A noise was heard, like a zipper. The truth was out. The Purugly costume had been taken off. It was Absol.

It made a dash for the door and slashed it open with its blade.

Discuss! (1412 words to my count)
 
A little advice regarding the issue of word count. So long you get your chapters to more than three or four pages on a MSWord or a similar processing program (personally, I try and aim for five at the very least, but I'm just ambitious), you won't have to make a note on the word count as you'd have likely surpassed the 1000-word minimum to begin with.

Anyways, I personally felt like you could've gone back and worked on your first couple chapters a little more just to beef them up and give your readers a better intro to the story. I've done this several times with my own fics (and now they're about the typical length of chapters you'd see in novels). I can't give a full review right now as I'm a little pressed for time and, futhermore, only had the chance to skim through things up to the current chapter. All in all, you seem to be getting a good idea of what it means to be a writer, so I won't badger you with nit-picky info...right now anyways. Still, consider going back and revising a bit if you get the chance. I find that helps build your focus and attention to detail in your writings a bit better.
 
I'm sorry, I'll have to have this locked for now. I have other things going on and need to take care of them before I continue this. And yes, I will reopen this, if the mods let me. :) Thanks!
 
Just PM me then when you want it reopened.

*locked upon request*

~Apollo
 
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