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Active You Laugh, You Lose - Post Something Funny!
- Thread starter bacon
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So a married couple are in the hospital when they're baby is being delivered and so the baby comes out and the Dad is like: "Hi! Your name is *What?* Your name is *who* Your name is *rucka* *rucka* Jeff!
YES! The funny allies have finally arrived!!
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Sorry, dude, but you're still creepy. No sympathy from me.
The Quotes of Steven Wright:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic boyfriend, .... But he left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark? *
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. (I've had depression I can confirm this is true)
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work? *
*= these questions have been answered by science look them up
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic boyfriend, .... But he left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark? *
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. (I've had depression I can confirm this is true)
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work? *
*= these questions have been answered by science look them up
I cannot confirm or deny I would chose Piplup.
Alright guys, I admit I have a very ... different sense of humour, which might give me an advantage, but I haven't laughed much yet. You guys are getting close to full-on laughter, so I'll give you that.
Also, I'd choose World peace and Turtwig.
and now, time to unload a barrage of terrible eel jokes.
Also, I'd choose World peace and Turtwig.
and now, time to unload a barrage of terrible eel jokes.
The answers to the above are as follows:
1 the universe would need to be rebooted after having a disk read error.
2 You will give me back the child after being a sarcastic butt and getting slapped by the mom.
3 This is a predestination paradox and currently is not possible as with current mechanisms of mobility we could only travel forward in time. : P
4 No because I said so, deal with it.
5 I believe this was created by Congress.....
Oh noobs to the TCG that think they know EVERYTHING, how you amuse me.
Yesterday while I was at league I was showing my promo Jirachi that I had for trade and this kid (to the TCG I think he was like 14-15) wanted to look at it, he did...and he said the following in one of the most arrogant and point of fact tone of voices I've ever heard "NOBODY PLAYS SPECIAL ENERGY!"....after he said that me and my two friends just burst out laughing at the top of our lungs and I was laughing so hard I banged my head on the table I was playing against my friend. A solid 30 seconds had passed, dude was still oblivious to how stupid his statement was and was still trying to make it sound like it was true, and then I went and asked my friends, "Hey, wanna hear a joke?.......Nobody plays special energy!" We then burst into laughter again for a bit longer this time. Then one of my friends said "Hey, guys let's play a game, 'name the special energy in standard'"....we then laughed even more as we covered every special energy in standard and what decks they are played in in under 5 minutes.
Yes, I know this sounds cruel to do to someone, but you have to understand how COMPLETELY ignorant he was to the fact that anyone could POSSIBLY play special energy, EVER. And we did try to educate him on how it is played, but he just WOULD NOT ACCEPT it, ever....so we sort of did this and got some laughs out of it.
For those of you who don't play the TCG this is basically like saying no computer needs a disc reader to play DVDs.....it is so impossibly stupid that no words can properly describe it....asides from "Face everything, for when face palming or face wall or desking just isn't enough to describe the amount of fail emitted by a single act"-me
Ok here are some jokes that will pretty much have no meaning outside of you watching a lot of anime, you can skip most of these if you haven't watched at least 10 series.
Ok, now for funny images
What it feels like to hatch a shiny pokemon.
Yesterday while I was at league I was showing my promo Jirachi that I had for trade and this kid (to the TCG I think he was like 14-15) wanted to look at it, he did...and he said the following in one of the most arrogant and point of fact tone of voices I've ever heard "NOBODY PLAYS SPECIAL ENERGY!"....after he said that me and my two friends just burst out laughing at the top of our lungs and I was laughing so hard I banged my head on the table I was playing against my friend. A solid 30 seconds had passed, dude was still oblivious to how stupid his statement was and was still trying to make it sound like it was true, and then I went and asked my friends, "Hey, wanna hear a joke?.......Nobody plays special energy!" We then burst into laughter again for a bit longer this time. Then one of my friends said "Hey, guys let's play a game, 'name the special energy in standard'"....we then laughed even more as we covered every special energy in standard and what decks they are played in in under 5 minutes.
Yes, I know this sounds cruel to do to someone, but you have to understand how COMPLETELY ignorant he was to the fact that anyone could POSSIBLY play special energy, EVER. And we did try to educate him on how it is played, but he just WOULD NOT ACCEPT it, ever....so we sort of did this and got some laughs out of it.
For those of you who don't play the TCG this is basically like saying no computer needs a disc reader to play DVDs.....it is so impossibly stupid that no words can properly describe it....asides from "Face everything, for when face palming or face wall or desking just isn't enough to describe the amount of fail emitted by a single act"-me
Ok here are some jokes that will pretty much have no meaning outside of you watching a lot of anime, you can skip most of these if you haven't watched at least 10 series.
The Future Diary makes sense.
Code Geass is badly written (someone says this to me IRL and so help me I will use Rolo's Geass to slap them a thousand times before they are done finishing the word "sucks")
Light Yagami 1 is not an anagram for "I am gay" with 5 extra letters attached to it 2 is completely sane.
Main characters die in Fairy Tail.
Attack on Titan values the life of non main characters.
Death note is basically the biggest and most popular game of "He knows that I know that he knows that I know that he knows that I know he knows." -the honest anime trailer for Death Note.
Characters had a chance of dying in .hack//sign and music signifying that everyone was about to win NEVER played, EVER.
Sword art online gives the main characters too little power and plot armor.
Code Geass is badly written (someone says this to me IRL and so help me I will use Rolo's Geass to slap them a thousand times before they are done finishing the word "sucks")
Light Yagami 1 is not an anagram for "I am gay" with 5 extra letters attached to it 2 is completely sane.
Main characters die in Fairy Tail.
Attack on Titan values the life of non main characters.
Death note is basically the biggest and most popular game of "He knows that I know that he knows that I know that he knows that I know he knows." -the honest anime trailer for Death Note.
Characters had a chance of dying in .hack//sign and music signifying that everyone was about to win NEVER played, EVER.
Sword art online gives the main characters too little power and plot armor.
Ok, now for funny images
What it feels like to hatch a shiny pokemon.
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