Writing Becoming Civilized (Inactive)

RE: Becoming Civilized

~~~~~Chapter Four~~~~~​

Four days dashed past as quickly as the plants grew in the jungle; because the experience of the beginning days were unfamiliar to Laria, her sense of fascination smothered her sense of time. Much to see, to research, she could spend months around this place and still not finish her categorization and data collection of plants (Though to be honest, the Sitrus berries around also was a major contributor to her compliancy in staying).

Despite her research, the jungle retained its enigmatic character; statistics of plants told her little of all of the possible lives that lived, sets of weather data did not explain the why the jungle's climate was the way it was, and certainly nothing she recorded explained the natives.

Yes, she saw more than that Absol named Kari in her first four days. They lurked around, furtively traveling, but she encountered them. They resembled Kari, with their unkempt appearance and skinned clothing. Both she and they dared not to stop to meet one another. Rather, both could not have parted ways any faster than they had done so. Perhaps both had nothing to relate, nothing to communicate. Perhaps both feared one another and chose not to risk an actual meeting.

Laria definitely did not wish to make enemies. Her mother made more than enough for her to learn to avoid getting on people's bad sides.

Speaking of mother, does she miss me? Does Father miss me?

Laria's ears perked up as she heard the downpour of water quickly slow to a small stream of droplets; the rain stopped; only the water caught from the webs of leaves above was slowly dripping down. To make sure, she poked her head and looked around. She then slowly walked out, taking the pack and a long bamboo stalk she cut for protection with her. A small path from the clearing she landed at let to the bamboo forest, where her dwelling resided. After some exploring, she found that the path twisted until it lay straight against a small stream, flowing fast and deep just after rain periods.

Perfect spot for drinking and refueling her canteen.

Nothing grew on the river, due to its frequent rushing flow during the rain. The ground nearby was also bare, as the river also dragged any possible seeds within its reach into the current. The result was two clear paths to either side of the river. She stopped and stood at the edge of the stream, crouching down. She plunged the round leather bottle into the cold water, the hole facing the current. She then looked up as she heard footsteps; one of the natives, this one a Zangoose, walked into sight.

Both of them stared at one another, not moving for a moment.

Laria quickly looked back down and finished filling the canteen. The Zangoose, assured Laria meant no harm, unstrapped a small barrel-like container from her back and took off the lid; the cylinder, only three feet in height and roughly two feet in diameter, gobbled the water greedily as it was lower into the water. Laria glanced at the Zangoose once more before she left silently, capping the canteen.

~~~~~~~~​

The Spinarak were annoying. Sitting on a branch, Laria batted another one of the little critters away from her equipment. The black markings on its green back, resembling a face, stared menacingly at Laria as a simplistic black frown. The little pests crawled about on almost every part of the tree she sat at. Even worse, they seemed to wander about aimlessly, and the Leafeon ended up keeping the critters away for almost the same amount of time she spent collecting the bark from the tree to analyze. But as she moved up the colossal trunk to collect more bark, her encounters with hordes of the annoying spiders became more and more frequent.

"Shoo!" she cried, using the knife to threaten an approaching Spinarak from going coming close to her pack. Honestly, how many of these things were there? Giving up, Laria chipped off a bit more bark into the clear test tube fit snugly in the Leafeon's paw. Her other paw switched from the knife to the black rubber cork and plugged the test tube with it. Quickly labeling it (by her shorthand; all letters in parenthesis were omitted), "B(a)rk s(a)mp(le), lvl 2 c(a)n(o)p(y)," she set it in the pack with two other bark-containing glass tubes. She then looked down.

The rope hung down from the branch she was on in two directions. One end dangled close to the ground, while the other still firmly hugged another tree that Laria tied the rope around. Grabbing the side with the dangling end, she cautiously made her way down, constantly looking at the other side of the rope, looking for a possible sign that the rope might break and send her crashing fifty feet to the ground. As she descended, the sights of the Spinarak became more and more rare; by the time she reached the ground, not a Spinarak was to be seen around. She walked to the other tree and untied the knot, freeing the rope. Then, her paws started to pull the rope, hauling it over the branch and to her. Rope now stuffed into pack, Laria sighed. All of that work for only three samples of that tree. Since she traveled all the way here, surely she wasn't going to head all the way back home with insufficient data. However, she wanted a break, and she was going to have one.

She pulled it her canteen, uncapped it, and drank from it - as she tilted her head up to let gravity bring a stream of water to her mouth - in hearty, loud gulps. Her exhale of relief after the Leafeon finished quenching her thirst was just as loud. She brushed a paw through the fur of her forehead, catching sweat and removing it. The jungle's season was constantly summer. If only she brought along -

"This fan, sir. It has no price tag." The Houndoom looked at the object on the Leafeon's paws. He took it and opened it a bit clumsily, revealing a basic oriental black ink painting of large mountain ranges, unfamiliar characters at the side.

"Hmm... my wife probably doesn't need this anymore and forgot to mark the price. How about fifty?" Laria frowned. Everything in this garage sale was ridiculously priced high.

"I only have forty, sir," she replied, glancing off at the sky: the sun just touched the horizon. Not good.

"Hmm... well... I guess so." Laria rushed to get the coins out of her purse and paid. She quickly took the fan, snapping it closed and stuffing it into a hidden pocket of her backpack. The Houndoom watched the Leafeon take off in a blazing hurry, her head never turning to look back.

~~~~~~~~​

Laria opened the door to her house.

"You're late."

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again," Laria quickly replied as she took her backpack off. She didn't even look to the person speaking to her. Rather, she glimpsed at the nearest clock. Five after six. Five minutes later than her usual time.

"I'm worried about you, Laria. I'm always worrying about you."

"I know, mother," she replied, a little softer than normal. She had gotten her backpack off and was washing her hands at the sink. She sneaked a glance at the dining table. Nothing again. Silently sighing to herself, she checked the rice cooker before turning it on and then opened the fridge for some vegetables to stir fry.

"It's not easy having to worry while at work, Laria. Being a Real Estate -"


What was she doing dragging herself through that torture again? Laria shook her head as she finished eating the berry in her paw. It's over; she was no longer back in that horrible place. She's living here now. Well, in the meantime at least. Her lunch break was long enough. Time to find a tree not infested with Spinarak.

Picking up her bamboo staff, Laria walked further into the unexplored area. This time, her head looked up as well as forward as her back paws slowly, mechanically stepped forward, looking for Spinarak in the trees. In the middle of her search for the suitable place to collect more bark samples, Laria halted as she felt some force stopping her, some strange tugging at her left paw, which was holding the bamboo staff. She looked back to see thick white line attached close to the top of the staff. Her eyes widening, she grabbed the staff by both paws and hauled it back, just as a fisherman would pull up a large catch out of the water.

A large Ariados flung out of the bushes, its mouth holding the same string attached to Laria's staff. However, at the apex of its temporary flight in the air, it suddenly lets go of the thread and shot out another one at Laria. Not quite prepared, the Leafeon stumbled back, making the String Shot land onto her leg. Panicking, she brought the staff down hard, snapping the line attached to her in two. However, the momentum sent the bamboo to jam itself into the ground. More concerned for her own safety, Laria spun around and ran as fast as she could, desperately fleeing the insect. She took cover behind a tree, her backpack smashed against the trunk. She panted heavily, trying to come up with some plan or idea. She quickly looked back and saw that the Ariados had disappeared.

No way it gave up that quickly. Laria quickly looked around, then dashed back to the area where she encountered the Ariados, grabbing the staff and yanking it out of the ground as she fled. Whether she was being followed, she didn't care; she just had to outrun it and get to safety. After about a few long minutes, she looked back; no sound, no spider. Was it gone? Sighing, she went back to the river.

Getting the sticky thread out of her fur completely proved to be extremely difficult; once she got to the river she was accustomed used to, she took a stick to pry the thread off of her leg, but this attempt only succeeded in getting all but globes of the sticky fiber on her fur onto the stick she used. Groaning, Laria discarded the piece of wood and looked at it. She considered her choices, then decided to simply cut the fur. She wrapping a leaf around sections of her fur so she was able to grab it without getting the spider silk stuck to her paw. Once she held it, Laria reached for the Swiss knife at her backpack, but then she frowned with her paw could not make contact with the desired tool. Worrying that she had lost the knife, Laria took off the backpack and held it in front of her to look for the knife. Rather than first spotting the knife, she spotted something more important: attached to the side of the backpack was a thin, barely-visible silk thread. She stared at it for a moment before looking back to the area where she ran from; the thread completely traced her steps ever since she fled.

It was following her, slowly. How could she not have thought of that: Why try to confront your prey when you can wait until it's completely defenseless? The Leafeon frowned and looked around, making sure it wasn't around yet, close by, stalking her. Quickly, she opened her pack and found the knife in there. Smiling, she took that and the metal casing of one of her equipment. She flipped out a small knife from the Swiss; it definitely wasn't a screwdriver, but it'll do.

~~~~~~~~​

The remaining thread's length was dwindling. She was nearby. The Ariados silently crept across the floor. It reeled in the tracking silk as it crawled. The length was very short now. Past the bushes lay its target. It then looked through the sparse bushes to see. Instead of the Leafeon it expected, the backpack idly sat out in front, the thread attached to the side. The quick rustling of leaves warned it of movement. Laria cried and swung the bamboo staff at the large spider from above. Out of pure reaction, the Ariados scuttled out of harm's way. Quickly, it released a barrage of Poison Sting, quickly trying to stall its enemy from getting too close.

Unfortunately for it, its opponent was far from normal prey. The Leafeon held out a rectangular black metal sheet with her left paw as she charged forward, her sole weapon in her right. The poisonous needles harmlessly bounced off of Laria's makeshift shield. The Ariados fled under the bushes; it was not for combating; better to wait latter and trap the Leafeon later.

No, Laria sure as hell wasn't going to play the fight by the Ariados's rules. She dashed after it, jumping over the brush and landing on all fours. Letting go of the staff and the side of the metal case, she sprinted after the Ariados in sight. The skinny eight legs could not outrun her four, trained in both power and strength. She overtook the spider and unsheathed her claws, pouncing onto the creature. The result was pure chaos: the force flipped the Ariados over as Laria grabbed on with her might, the claws tearing into the back of the creature. The arachnid screeched, flailing futilely to escape her grasp. However, her strength could not hold the struggling spider for long; she was neither naturally nor trained to be a wrestler, and she realized that she would not be able to hold on much longer.

Her solution was to widely open her mouth and bite roughly around the neck of the Ariados. The constant shriek that the Ariados emitted intensified. Despite wanting to leave, to escape such a horrible racket, Laria kept focused and tried to have her teeth penetrate through to sever and possibly behead the Ariados. Yet, as hard as she sank her teeth in, she could not get it in deeper than a few centimeters as her muscles ached, sore from keeping the Ariados in place. So she let go, shoving the spider off of her so she could stand up.

The Ariados managed to flip back up, but it was now faltering, suffering painfully from the wounds. Laria saw the very predator chasing her now at her own mercy. She watched it try to escape, but it was having difficulty for some reason; did she somehow reach the spinal cord by luck? The Leafeon looked off and then walked back, picking up the bamboo staff. If the Ariados was indeed injured to that extent, then it’s best she put it out if its misery. The Ariados hardly moved far as Laria went to get the bamboo and back, further supporting the fact that it was fatally wounded. It hardly even paid attention to the Leafeon that stood not a few inches in front of it.

The Leafeon looked at it for a quick moment, and then closed her eyes. Raising the bamboo with both paws - the staff almost vertical - she brought it straight down upon the spider’s head, crushing a large hole through it. Laria opened her eyes, noticed the mess she caused, and quickly walked away, getting sick to her stomach.
 
RE: Becoming Civilized

Both she and they dared not to stop to meet on another.
Meet one another.

gobbled the water greedily as if was lower into the water.
"As if was lower into the water." Either I fail at understanding this, or you failed at typing this. I'm really not sure which at 4:45 in the morning...

Not quite prepared, the Leafeon stumbled back, making the string shot land onto her leg.
You could capitalize "String Shot", since it's the name of an attack. Not really an issue, just something I figured I'd point out.
_____________________
Great Chapter! I have to admit that it was a bit short for the amount of time I waited, though =( That Ariados probably shouldn't have attacked Laria, despite having 2 Type advantages ;D
 
RE: Becoming Civilized

God, I so fail at proofreading my work.

Also, yeah, I'm really sorry I can't write as much as I wanted lately, but I've been more busy, and the fact schools coming into sight is not helping. ;_;
 
RE: Becoming Civilized

Just as a note, this fanfic is not dead. Far from it. I apologize that I cannot work much more each day for this, but I am slowly getting this done.
 
RE: Becoming Civilized

We'll be waiting patiently xD

Well, I basically only came back here because of your story... some things I didn't like happened and I decided to quit the forum, at least by now. But I'll keep coming back just to read, if you don't mind ^^
 
RE: Becoming Civilized

Alright then, thanks. XD

Well, good news, Chapter Five is almost done, so it should be up sooner or later.
 
RE: Becoming Civilized

~~~~~Chapter Five~~~~~​
Ill. That was the word. She was ill. Sick to her stomach. Even after a full hour since the dreadful encounter, Laria could not relax; her fur stood up slightly, unwilling to make contact with neighboring strands, her front paws, shaking, trembling, refusing to get a good hold of anything, her tail, stiff, almost an unliving attachment . Now she just laid under her shelter, her eyes forcefully closed.

She knew of the dangers, no, that was far from unexpected. What she did not anticipate was the obvious implication her mind failed to see ahead; no prey was too dangerous as long as the reward, the feast, was worth it. If they could not get her the first time, then the second time, or the third. As with the Vigorath and the Ariados's case, their savageness and drive to eat something lead them to attack with all they had.

This – by itself - she was not surprised with. What instead shocked was how her own ambitions for survival were just as uncontrollable. What ever happened to the “mercy after a victory” concept she learned in her earlier lessons? Twice, she killed her enemy without even thinking. Twice, she had a bloodlus-

All over. The Mightyena's head was tilted at an awful angle, the bones in the neck undoubtedly snapped beyond repair. Red streams from his forehead created a sickly lake onto the ground, glowing brightly as it reflected the moonlight. His companions all slaughtered in similar fashions in the dark alley. Laria could not directly see the savage responsible for this, only the blood dripping from the Mightyena and from the brick the monster held in its paw. But the blood puddle... she could see-

Laria snapped out of the memory, panting. Remember. Just remember that you're in the present. Even though she recently killed the two jungle predators, she was just Leafeon, a pacifist. Even most of the time she did not need to eat. After all, you have photosynthesis, do you not, asked her classmate.

Laria nodded, explaining that because she spends most of the time indoors, the amount of energy she made was far from enough to sustain her, and she thus still needed to get the other part of the required energy from somewhere else. It wasn't like she no longer had teeth.


Apparently, even outdoors wasn't enough. The thick layers of leaves above were taking all of the sunlight so that the ground floor had barely any. Even now, her stomach was starting to growl at her to provide some sort of food, despite the fact that her appetite was nonexistent at this point.

Laria had noticed the young Charmeleon, his paw scratching his belly as the college instructor droned on. She remembered seeing him at the cafeteria; he had a small tray of food, but for some reason, he wouldn't eat it while it sat in front of him at the table. Even when she was leaving to the library, the tray was untouched, its purchaser simply staring at it. Now doubt he was hungry now, but why he didn't eat was a mystery to her.

She opened her eyes; it was beginning to rain. The more she laid around, the more she'd end up thinking about useless things, and the less she was going to get done.

After the rain, then. Wash away the past and start anew.

~~~~~~~~​

Capture the flag. They were playing a game similar to that, a major difference being that instead of flags, special stones were the targets of swindling. Laria somehow ended up researching in the crossfire of this childish war. As she continued to slowly chip off the bark of the tree, the bushes would rustle every now and then, and some young creature would dash out.

They were almost as noisy as they were young. How no predators hunted the young of the civilized natives was something she could not fathom. Even more, she faced difficulty concentrating; her curiosity would force her to look down every time some child ran across, going past the tree Laria sat on. She would try to see if that child would be holding either a red, blue, or yellow round stone. The color of that stone indicated which team the child wasn't on, because the objective was to swipe the opposing teams' stones. At one point, Laria simply just sat there, watching them run back from some base a distance off to the opposing bases and back. She saw at least twelve of them pass by, so probably five per team (she assumed a possible guard).

A young Treecko jumped out of the bushes, a red stone inside its right hand. It landed and dashed with its might as a long green vine rocketed out of the bushes as well, wrapping around the fleeing Treecko at his leg to snag him. The bipedal reptile yelped and fell face-first into the dirt. Its hand let loose of the small rock, allowing inertia to let it safely hide into the bushes on the other side.

"Nant." Laria turned to see a familiar Absol walk into sight. Her paws held a Tangela, a Vine Whip extended to the Treecko, holding it captive. However, after a string of syllables from Kari, the Tangela released from the Treecko from its grasp, allowing its former captive to slowly stand up. Laria slowly descend down the tree as Kari talked to the young two children in front of her. The Absol's brows were furrowed such that the two meet up at the center of her foreheads. The two children flinched from the terse words spat out from Kari's mouth. She pointed off and spoke a single syllable, and at once, the two dashed off, leaving the site. The Absol looked at the tree in the center of the clearing and the being that jumped down to the ground. "Laria," was her greeting. Laria consequently smiled back.

"Kari," she replied. The Absol turned around and walked off, but she had her head turned back to look at the Leafeon. She stretched out a paw, pulling a claw to her palm and relaxing it back to its original position, only to repeat the motion. Understanding it to mean "follow," Laria nodded and began to walk after the native once she finished adjusted the straps of her backpack. The two slowly walked down towards the direction to the river. Laria, though desperate to talk to Kari, simply could not think of an adequate way to communicate to her friend.

However, once they reached at the river, Laria soon realized that Kari was planning on solving that problem... her way. She raised her paw once both of them stood right besides the running water, now much more calm that she last saw it as the rain had not come down to revitalize it for some time. Kari's claw pointed at the bamboo staff in Laria's paw and then to a nearby tree. Nodding, the Leafeon leaned over a bit and placed the weapon to lean on the trunk of the tree. Once Kari was sure she had Laria's attention, she pointed at the river and then said.

"Arzul." Laria nodded, not entirely sure whether the Absol meant the river itself, or simply water. The Leafeon bent down to the river and scooped up the water with her two paws. She held the small amount of liquid and faced Kari with it.

"Arzul?" she asked. The Absol nodded, repeating after her. Her paws took Laria's, and Kari said two statements: "Yil ov no? Ov no Arzul." Laria stared blankly for a brief moment before her mouth slightly opened, silently letting out an "oh." What is this? This is water. Now that Laria has a basic method of learning some nouns in the native language, what did she want to learn this instant? The Leafeon swung her head, looking around to locate some object of importance to identify immediately. When she saw the bamboo staff she set to the side of the tree, she knew what to do. Taking up the bamboo stick, she drew a rough sketch of an Absol on the dirt.

"Yil ov no?" she asked, pointing at the drawn figure. Kari tilted her head down to stare down, her eyes fixed upon the ground; surely she would be able to recognize the sketchy portrait of Laria's quick outline of her. The Leafeon was no artist, and using such a thick stylus did not aid her in the rough drawing, but Laria was sure her companion to understand. When the Absol narrowed her eyes, Laria knew she was looking too hard, but then her ears raised up in alert realization: Kari was looking at the picture upside-down, as she was standing opposite of Laria. She walked around the artistic grooves and indents in the dirt and softly shoved the Absol around to view at it from when Laria was originally standing. "Yil ov no?" Laria repeated. The Absol's eyes widened, now understanding what she saw.

"Ov no Kari..." she whispered, staring down with fascination. They didn't have a written language. Merely a spoken one. Her Humanities classes were at least not put to waste (God, that teacher was such a jerk), but they unfortunately taught nothing about how to interacted with incompletely-developed society and their people. At least Kari seems to quickly catch on. Laria paused before dotting the area above the illustration of the Absol. The dots then fell around the being to the presumed ground of the picture, which converged into some wavy bar that seemed to have moved away. The baffled Absol understood new additions soon. "Arzul." Laria smiled with satisfaction and pointed at the dots.

"Ov no arzul?" she asked her language teacher. She was responded with the shake of the head. Ov no feinzal, Kari corrected; she was slightly still overwhelmed at the use of visual representations for actual things, but her curiosity was slowly taking over instead; the eyes attuned to look for the next drawing, her body expressions almost mute of gestures, her face less commanding, Kari wanted to see where Laria was taking this. However, the Leafeon was not completely sure of how to do the next one, mostly because she didn't know what the object she wanted Kari to speak of looked like. After thinking a brief moment, Laria drew three lines: two vertical lines, each to a different side of the image of Kari, and a horizontal one above her, such that the top of the two vertical ones made contact with the horizontal one. In more general terms, it was a rectangle with the bottom side missing. At once, the Absol tilted her head, thinking of what the three lines could mean. Figuring out how to aid in understanding, Laria then drew a bit more. The bamboo jutted into the ground several more times, creating more descending, slanted dots until it hit the horizontal top. Several of them accumulated on top of line, resulting in an overcrowding. They shoved and some of the dots were forced off of the bar and down the side of the incomplete rectangle.

"Feinzal ov rai?" Kari softly mused to herself, leaving Laria to stare at her, wondering what the last word possibly meant. When Kari looked back at Laria, they both gazed at each other in complete bafflement.

"Feinzal ov rai?" Laria simply repeated back. Her friend in turn took two small twigs and stuck them side by side into the ground. A leaf was then jabbed into the top of the two sticks into place. Kari finally scooped up some water and tilted her paw slightly down over the twigs and leaves. Drops slid down the back of her claws and fell down, landing upon the leaves. She was recreating the picture into a real scene. Ov rai, she repeated. Laria figured she would get a more specific idea of 'rai' later on. In any case, they were going down the wrong route for what Laria was intending to achieve.

Trying once more, she held up the two-twig-single-leaf model Kari made from the ground and asked her what it was. When the Absol just gave her a quizzical look, Laria motioned Kari to follow her, leading her to her shelter of bamboo. There, with a canteen of water, she demonstrated that with the shelter, feinzal ov rai.

So the Leafeon was asking the word for Sinn, but why try to get such a word? Why else but to ask where she lived? Where her Sinn was.

And Kari smiled, tapping the shelter while identifying it (in the language that she knows) to Laria. But before Laria could continue, Kari added few words to her vocabulary: "Ov no sinn ra Laria."

"Sinn... ra Laria... Kari nodded to Laria's repeated words. As expected, the Leafeon then replied “Sinn ra Kari?” The Absol gestured to the outsider to follow, to be shown the world that was hidden from her for the first few days.

~~~~~~~~​

”Hey, your name is Laria, right?” the Leafeon turned around to see one of her classmates, the Charmeleon. She knew his name through roll call: Patrick, a transfer student from Salemn if she remembered correctly. His thin composure was hugged around an equally small polo. He definitely was feeding another person and starving himself; he would take the food he bought and just leave the cafeteria without eating, or he would wait at the table, not taking a bite either. Whoever it was, Laria never was able to stay around long enough to see who this other person was. The Leafeon simply nodded in the meantime.

“Can I help you?”

“I heard that you had some buckets you don't need anymore (they were for botany purposes, though she managed to get a hose to water the plants instead, she noted to herself), so I was wondering if you were already gave them to someone else.”

“Not yet, but I was planning to give them for someone else to use,” Laria replied, smiling slightly.

“Oh... well, I'm sorry I-”

“I meant you.”

“Eh?” The Leafeon almost giggled from the Charmeleon's dumbfounded face; the wide eyes, the gaping mouth. Laria straightened her back a bit.

“I really don't have a use for them, and no one asked besides you, so I'm perfectly fine with letting you have them.”

“Th-th-thank you.”

“No problem. I'll bring them with me at class, alright?” The Charmeleon only nodded, his head slightly down. “Later!” Laria cried as she walked off to get in some lab time. For a Baccalaureate program, they demanded quite a lot of lab time...


Laria had only followed her guide absentmindedly; she had not paid attention to what she was exactly walking on, and so when another step failed to receive fiction on a wet stone, she yelped as her sudden loss of balance sent her plunging into the river besides her.

”Swimming? I'm a Leafeon. Why did you think I was a swimmer?”

“No reason.”


Laria barely heard another plunge into the water as she opened her mouth to release the small breath she took just before she fell. She almost fell to unconsciousness had Kari not hauled her back out of the current, the Absol having a paw on her back to keep the water from tugging the lower half of her body back in. The panting Leafeon gathered her strength to haul herself up a bit out of the water to feel numbed pain from her right shoulder. Weakly turning her head, she noticed a small cut that pierced her clothing. Only a modicum of blood had sneaked through before the clotting began, so the wound was perhaps caused by some grazing against some unknown object in the water.

... the water! Kari stared in mild confusion as Laria quickly pulled herself completely out of the water onto the ground and whipped her pack around. Paws frantically pried the cover off and pulled out electronic equipment, water leaking out of the holes in the machinery. Blasted water leaking out of them and nothing that could be done about it. In resignation, she placed the now-worthless tool back in its original spot; perhaps it might find a use later...

Kari asked Laria something in the undeciphered tongue. The Leafeon just shook her head and stood up, holding the pack as if nothing had happened. Nothing had happened at all.
 
RE: Becoming Civilized

Very nice chapter, Zy :3
It reveals quite a lot. I'm not going to ask how you came up with this language. Was it something I muttered in my sleep? Oh well, I guess I'll just wait for the next chapter :3

/me disappears into an explosion of fluffy danmaku
 
RE: Becoming Civilized

Don't worry. The show's just getting started.

I'm afraid that this little experiment of mine will be my own undoing, but hopefully, I will keep track of everything. In essence (as you can tell. If not, you will be able to), this is currently two unfolding stories. Laria's background will constantly haunt her, but as long as I hold back a few things, there will be quite a few... mysterious actions she'll make later on that you won't be able to account for. Quite the history, Laria has.

In the meantime, this is taking me forever as I've got college applications and SAT testing to do, but I'll will get it done. ^^
 
RE: Becoming Civilized

Holy woah, I kind of just noticed this :3
Muahahaha, this is the first piece of yours that I've read.
When I first began to read this fan fiction, I immediately decided that I was in love with this.
Your style is fantastic, and the theme and tone of the story makes it much more of an exciting read. Like cal said, don't hesitate on those descriptions. While the lengthy ones tend to drag on, at the same time they provide a much better imagery for the reader.
I look forward to reading more. I didn't really pay attention too much to spelling/grammatical errors, however I'll give this another read and let you know if I find anything (although after reading I doubt that I'll find anything ;D). Besides, dozing off as I speak in front of this blinding laptop, I'll probably forget half of the story by tomorrow T__T

Congrats, Zy. You lived up to expectations ;D (you can probably tell I'm not in here too often, LOL).
 
RE: Becoming Civilized

Forgotten anything yet? ;D

I found that I'm too stubborn for my own good; this style is my tried and true. I just can't seem to deviate and pull off something excellently varied like MylesPorwer. So rather than, as the cliché goes, "learning to play with my left hand," I'll be trying to develop this style as much as possible (starting with, once I manage the time, improving my vocabulary). A very picky writer I am when it comes to style, but I try to make up by varying other things, as you might (or might not) realize.

But anyway, I'm trying to push this fanfic as fast as possible without making it a rush job. So we'll see how the next chapter goes out (not what happens; I have that planned already).

Thanks for reading. I really do appreciate it.
 
RE: Becoming Civilized

An update!

In all actuality, I was going to post the next chapter for this fanfic, when I reread it for the third time and went:
Zyflair said:
I have no clue what I was on when I wrote that chapter, so I completely scrapped it and am working it fresh all over again. I apologize on how long it's taking. But I'm not dead (not yet!) so it will be done!
 
RE: Becoming Civilized

Take as long as you need, Zy :3
Epicness can't be rushed, after all.
 
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