General Writing Discussion Thread | Current Topic: NaNoWriMo

[Kecleon-X]

RE: Writer's Lounge

So I've been thinking about this and I was wondering, what do you guys think I should do after Mewtwo's Revenge is done? Don't think that this means I won't work hard on MR, but I would like to have some idea of what to do next. I have had a couple of ideas:

"Sideways"

The story of Sideways, one of the most notorious side-changer and backstabber in existence, and the reasons he does what he does. What is the true purpose behind Planet X, his homeworld? What is it's true name? Why did Soundwave, Sideways' one true friend, erase his emotions and revert to a cold and logical being? And most of all, why does Shockwave, the Decepticon mad scientist take so much interest in Planet X? Find out in this mind-blowing and exciting story!

"Chronicles of Farsight - The Outpost"

It is the grim darkness of the 41st millennium and there is only war. But this doesn't seem to affect the peaceful colony on the planet Asoka, also a top secret Imperial Listening Post in the outer edges of the galaxy. That is, until Commander Farsight began occupation on the planet, reading the signals sent from the post. But when they storm the base and uncover the listening post, they soon discover that the true purpose of the listening post is not as benign as they once thought, and it will change their fates forever!

Just as a clarification, that is a Warhammer 40k thing, and a miniseries event, with three short stories ^

But remember, I also have a deep love for Pokemon, and I do have a bare-bones idea for Ruby and Sapphire, as I haven't the slightest clue on what Gold and Silver would be. Something to think on, no?

But anyway, what do you think?

 

[Ice Arceus]

RE: Writer's Lounge

"Sideways" seems like a very interesting story and I would definitely read over it. The story you have the most ideas should be the one you should go for, in my opinion. Just reading the description of "Sideways" got me engaged and really think that it could turn into a nice and captivating story if you have a few great ideas for it as you continue with its development.

 

[MrGatr]

RE: Writer's Lounge

Sideways needs a planet name. Because names either make it or break it in any story. Also expect some work coming from me soon guys

 

[Ice Arceus]

RE: Writer's Lounge

PG-13 prefix tag now available.

 

[le Roi-Soleil]

RE: Writer's Lounge

Hello, fellow writers. I am currently writing a fanfic about two realms that are never mentioned in the Pokemon world: politics and the real struggles that the citizens face. I will post the preface, so please feel free to add your comments, criticism, and what not. Thank you!

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you -- Deception.

Deception​

A fanfic regarding the unmentioned realm of the Pokemon world: Politics​

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"In the last few years, the very idea of telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is dredged up only as a final resort when the alternative options of deception, threat and bribery have all been exhausted."
-Michael Musto

"Life is the art of being well deceived; and in order that the deception may succeed it must be habitual and uninterrupted."
-William Hazlitt

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Preface​

In my fanfic, I wanted to accomplish the description of the ever so often forgotten realm of the world of Pokemon: politics. Throughout the series, no complex description of how the Pokemon world works is ever given. There is one simple rule, or at least one that I can conclusively draw -- the Champion rules the region. From this, I question many things. How does the Champion exert the rule? What powers does the Champion have? Does the Pokemon League act as an advisory group to the League Champion? Do the Gym Leaders have any role?

As explained in the games, the Gym Leaders are the first obstacle the trainer encounters (that involves the regional Pokemon League). Once the Gym Leaders are defeated, the challenger is forwarded to the regional Pokemon League. Once the player beats the Elite Four, (s)he challenges the Pokemon League Champion -- simple.

NOT.

Regarding my previous inquiries, I can conclusively state this (in my own opinion):

☭ The Pokemon League Champion is the absolute authority of the region.
☭ The Elite Four presides as the governing council of the Champion, and therefore acts as the Champion's advisory council. The Elite Four acts as district representatives that overlook the region of which they preside.
☭ The Gym Leaders act as city/town advisors, and represent said city/town, that forward their issues to the Elite Four.
(The people vote for Gym Leaders and Elite Four members are appointed by the Champion.)

Perhaps I am overanalyzing how the Pokemon world functions, but being so obsessed with politics, writing, and Pokemon, I just have to explain how I believe the Pokemon world functions. In my fanfic, I want to express the actual conditions the citizens of each region endure, especially the conditions that the citizens of my favorite region (Sinnoh) face.

In Deception, I describe the constant class struggle of the oldest, and perhaps poorest region, Sinnoh, and how the people strive to function as a society. I describe the regional government and how the government affects the people of Sinnoh. Most importantly, however, I describe the constant deception that the people of Sinnoh face; I describe the constant lies the government tells the people.

In my controversial fanfic, I describe how the people of Sinnoh rise up to destroy the government to install a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. I describe how one man changes the game for a diverse race of people. In my fanfic, I describe the most common entity in the world:

Deception.

 

[Kecleon-X]

RE: Writer's Lounge

Sideways needs a planet name. Because names either make it or break it in any story. Also expect some work coming from me soon guys

Planet X is the actual canonical name for the planet. It is just "more than meets the eye".

Also, I have come up with a great idea for a sequel to MR. I call it (subject to change) Bell of the Phoenix, and hence the name it has to do with Gold and Silver. Now, it plays really heavily from the ending of the former story, so that means that I can't tell you much about it at all without spoiling the end of MR.

The question is, do I do a story (one of the previously mentioned stories) in between the sequel and the former story, or do I begin to do it right after Mewtwo's Revenge is finished?

 

[Kecleon-X]

RE: Writer's Lounge

Big news! My fanfiction is up as the No. 1 result on Google when someone searches "Mewtwo's Revenge"!!

*Cue Ichigo's theme A.K.A. Number One*

(I flipping love that song)

Isn't that AWESOME?

 

[Uralya]

RE: Writer's Lounge

Deception sounds very intriguing based on the preface. Very thoughtful/insightful/yougetthepoint. I will definitely take a look at it when I can. It all depends on the obvious exams during the end of school as to when.

One thing I'd like to know is the origin of your quotes. Are they from real people or characters in the story? They seem true enough to be either imo.

~AoH

 

[Elite Stride]

RE: Writer's Lounge

Dustin, I cannot wait for Deception! I'm already getting excited over your subject matter. I expect we'll see some kind of socialist twist in all of this considering the author... .

Also, no more perfect region than Sinnoh, my favorite champion. Try not to kill off Cynthia in the government overthrow, haha!

 

[le Roi-Soleil]

RE: Writer's Lounge

Deception sounds very intriguing based on the preface. Very thoughtful/insightful/yougetthepoint. I will definitely take a look at it when I can. It all depends on the obvious exams during the end of school as to when.

One thing I'd like to know is the origin of your quotes. Are they from real people or characters in the story? They seem true enough to be either imo.

~AoH

The quotes are from real-life people. I'm not creative enough to create important quotes for my own characters, LOL (although now that you mentioned it, I will try).

I appreciate all of your support!

I can assure you one thing -- this novel will be an action-packed, PG-13 novel, which is rather odd for a novel about politics.
HINT: Deception will focus less on Pokémon and will focus more on humans. That's not to say that there will be no Pokémon, though.

Dustin, I cannot wait for Deception! I'm already getting excited over your subject matter. I expect we'll see some kind of socialist twist in all of this considering the author... .

Also, no more perfect region than Sinnoh, my favorite champion. Try not to kill off Cynthia in the government overthrow, haha!

Oh, I have something planned for Cynthia; you'll see. I won't allude to too much, but Cynthia is on an entirely different side than you would imagine.

 

[Incinermyn]

RE: Writer's Lounge

The Crusade of Dark Nostalgia: Biohazard has been updated finally for anyone who cares. It took me the better part of the past few months, but I finished Chapter Six.

 

[le Roi-Soleil]

RE: Writer's Lounge

Smoke rises from the ground. The only audible sound is the crackling of the raging fire surrounding the macabre sight.

“After a horrific explosion,” a stout reporter spits, “three Sinnoh are dead.”

The location is Route 228, a deserted stretch of uninhabitable land, marked by its steep hills. The arid location is the perfect location for an “accident.” A thick veil of sand encompasses the barren landscape, and the perpetual sandstorm, which dominates the route, is, in itself, suffocating.

A unit, comprised of six workers dressed in outlandish, futuristic, space-like uniforms, steps out of a compact helicopter, poised to collect the corpses. A xanthous, “G” shaped logo overlay the G-X1, as the varnished “G” gleams in the harsh ray of light that managed to pierce through the thick veil of sand. Just as the grunts load the victims into the G-X1 helicopter, a rather young man, shrouded in a grotesque red cape and a red peaked cap, exits the vehicle, and carefully struts to one of the grunts.

“What is the status of the incident, Mars?” the man with an obvious military air inquires.

“Well, uh, sir, the…” she whispers, “test… uh, was a success, sir,” the woman squeamishly replies. “However, sir, the media has already, uh, broadcasted the incident; they don’t know the full story, though, sir…”

“Exceptional work, dear; load the cadavers, and we shall head to our next test site. Disregard the media, and let them speculate whatever they wish. If they learn too much, get rid of them.”

“Yes, sir.”

Here's a brief preview of what to expect in Deception.

(Sinnoh is also the demonym for the people of the Sinnoh region.)

 

[Incinermyn]

RE: Writer's Lounge

I'm trying to start the next chapter of Biohazard off with a somewhat horrific scene in which one of my anatagonists (Doxisite) hunts down and kills a Rattatta for food. The scene isn't supposed to be very graphic (in fact, I'm trying to go with a somewhat minimalist approach in terms of description because he hasn't been fully introduced into the story yet); however, I'm trying to show off how viscious this monster is, given how he is a ravenous leech that brutally drains his victims' blood in mere seconds and then either leaves their body somewhere or consumes it as dessert. I'm just having a hard time figuring out how much I can insinuate this creature's cruelty without overstepping a PG-13 rating.

 

[DNA]

RE: Writer's Lounge

First thing that comes to my mind is rapid skeletonization.

 

[Delta]

RE: Writer's Lounge

b. Violence and Death: Light to moderate violence is commonplace in Pokémon fan fiction, therefore referencing things such as occasional bleeding or bruising of characters is perfectly fine. Heavier violence such as gunshot wounds, gouging/goring/disfigurement of a character’s body-parts, and even depictions of death are also allowed to an extent. However, most of these things should either be infrequent or downplayed to where their descriptions aren’t leaving the full impression they would in something on the lines an R-rated horror movie.

You're only draining blood right? It's hardly gore. This and something along the lines of..."He flung the corpse to the side for later." would be well in the limits of the rules.

I don't think you need to worry about hunting prey being outside the rules at all :]

 

[Guts]

RE: Writer's Lounge

Well, since it's summer and I'm not quite as busy as I was during my first semester of college, I figured that I might try writing a piece of fan-fiction or two. Nothing major, just something I've always wanted to try, and some creative writing might be good practice for English 400 that I'm taking this fall.

However, it won't be Pokemon related in any way, shape or form. One of the main reasons I'm posting this is to see if there'd be any interest for something that's not Pokemon-related in the writing cafe. I know we have a minuscule amount of non-Pokemon fics and the haiku contest, but those are generally shorter works and don't require a long-term effort on either the writer or reader's part (no offense to you haiku guys, I've seen some really good pieces throughout the contests). I'll probably get around to writing something either way, but I just wanted an honest gauge of people who would read and at least try to comment on something that belonged to another fandom (Megaman, MGS series, something anime-related, etc) so that I would know whether or not I should bother posting it on this forum. It wouldn't do my confidence as a writer much good to "publish" my first ever piece of fan-fiction and get exactly zero feedback on it just because it's not Pokemon related.

I'm probably sounding really childish and snobby by basically stating "well if no one's gonna read it then I just won't post it", but I've always been overly sensitive to what people think of my writing, and when you think about it, every writer takes the same risk when posting something online or even to a publishing company. Most likely I'll just suck it up and post it with or without general interest, but it sure would be nice to hear what you guys think about fics that aren't Pokemon-specific on the Beach.

 

[le Roi-Soleil]

RE: Writer's Lounge

A non-Pokemon fanfic would be rather interesting. As long as it is quality work and it has a rather detailed storyline, I would be glad to read your fanfic.

 

[Kecleon-X]

RE: Writer's Lounge

@SL: I'm fine with them, and I know what you mean by fearing rejection from the community.

I had the same fear when I first posted. But then it dawned on me; if I'm happy with what I wrote, then who cares if other people don't like it? This doesn't mean other people don't matter, but you do need to remember to please yourself before others when it comes to writing.

 

[Delta]

RE: Writer's Lounge

Since I'm going to be more active here I may as well finally post about my fic.

Pokemon: Uprising Voyagers

This has been two years in the making and has already been re-written. I started making this back in 2011 as a side project but as it steadily grew in size I wasn't happy at all with the story or the narrative; so I scrapped all 20,000 words of it and started anew.

UV follows a young adult girl (badly worded) named Agi (I put a lot of thought into original character's names so be on the look out for symbolism with both humans and Pokemon.) and how she is dragged into al dis craezy stoof the mythology of the Pokemon world. Mythology has always been an interest to me so I am thinking about tying in various Norse and Greek, amongst other, mythology with Pokemon and drawing parallels between them. Almost reverse inspiration. First based in Kanto the story spreads throughout the Pokemon world all the way up to Unova.

As I have expressed many times to Some Loser, my co-writer, there will be no happy endings. Realism, realism, realism. Questioning of the protagonist's sanity, worldwide destruction, cyborgs, asyndetic listing, returning characters and legendaries. Agi isn't a special character, this is what I will be trying to get across in the fic. She is simply a very talented trainer. She is not the one and I think this is what her spark as the protagonist will be.

If you need something to image the mass devastation that these Pokemon will be causing think of just a stage in Mass Effect 3 with Reapers in the background.

 

[Uralya]

RE: Writer's Lounge

. . .

The location is Route 228, a deserted stretch of uninhabitable land, marked by its steep hills. The arid location is the perfect location for an “accident.” A thick veil of sand encompasses the barren landscape, and the perpetual sandstorm, which dominates the route, is, in itself, suffocating.

A unit, comprised of six workers dressed in outlandish, futuristic, space-like uniforms, step out of a compact helicopter, poised to collect the corpses. A xanthous, “G” shaped logo overlay the G-X1, as the varnished “G” gleams in the harsh ray of light that managed to pierce through the thick veil of sand. Just as the grunts load the victims into the G-X1 helicopter, a rather young man, shrouded in a grotesque red cape and a red peaked cap, exits the vehicle, and carefully struts to one of the grunts.

. . .

Here's a brief preview of what to expect in Deception.

. . .

I omitted everything that didn't need grammatical fixes, fyi. This is a very good excerpt.

"A thick veil of sand encompasses the barren landscape, and the perpetual sandstorm, which dominates the route, is, in itself, suffocating."

I think there are two things going on here: a bit of adjective overload (I would try to avoid perpetual except in very specific situations) and wanton cruelty to the comma. You could eliminate the commas after sandstorm and route without an error being made - this would make it much smoother.

Also, in the part about the unit, remember that unit is a collective noun and, therefore, use "steps" because it's one object.

I love the use of xanthous here. I had never heard of it before, but it makes sense (Galactic).

Lastly, I noticed you never used said in the excerpt. I know you want the flashy vocabulary, but simplicity is often the best way to go with dialogue. I would save the prose for description. Every now and then is good for alternative words for said - at least two-thirds being said is the benchmark I use.

@SL: We need more non-Pokemon pieces here. I would be all for it.

~AoH