General Writing Discussion Thread | Current Topic: NaNoWriMo

RE: The Lounge

Apollo, ever gonna read my story? Lol.

I've been working on a something for school, kinda take a Fic. story and a Non.Fic. related thingy and make up a thesis/comparative statement. Im deciding what Fic. reference I want to use. Just finished Duma Key, Stephen King, and was thinking about comparing things about Phantom Limb sensations to the story. Im open to suggestiions stuff like this. And im in 7th grade so don't give me like Hamlet and what not.
 
RE: The Lounge

Sorry for the delay, Darkvoid. I've actually been busy working, but I've also been writing up a lengthy review for your story for the past couple days. I planned on having it up either tonight or tomorrow if you'll be patient for just a bit longer. However, looking it over, I have to say you need to work on your editing and punctuation use (especially in dialogue). If I'm not mistaken, your paragraphs are almost all single spaced (save for section breaks), which is the wrong formatting for forum style submissions. Could you go back through and double space please?

Also, when doing passages of dialogue, you always have to end the spoken sentence with a punctuation (a comma if the sentence itself is followed by an action statement describing how the character said something, if not a question or exclaimation in which their respective punctuations are to be used instead). I noticed that a lot of your dialogue either misses punctuation altogether or misplaces the comma by having it after the quotation marks (the only time it's allowed out of the quotes is if the action statement describing someone's speech is before their dialogue). Here are some examples, if you need reference...

He said, "She didn't do anything wrong!" (Commas are only reserved for separation of unimportant/additional information and actions in most sentences, separation of dialogue from the main part of a sentence like so, and listing things such as items in a single sentence. In this first case, the separation is at the beginning of the sentence before the quotes)

"No, it really wasn't me," she added. (Likewise here, a comma replaces a period since there's more to the sentence still coming. Using a comma outside the quote marks is wrong as the sentence being said ends in the quote and a punctuation is needed to designate that. Also, doubling up on commas before and after isn't allowed in proper English since it looks weird and the additional comma serve no purpose, in case you were wondering)
Click to expand...

I know it sounds nitpicky (and those are really basic examples), but that's something I was really going to lecture you on since proper punctuation use in quotes seemed to be a bit of issue for you... I've got several more things I'm going to be noting in my review, which should help you improve greatly. I just need a little more time, if you want something thorough anyways.
 
RE: The Lounge

@Apollo

Thanks. Yeah, I have a bad problem with like punctuation, i get confused as to whether it goes in the quotes or what not. People say I'm 'Comma Happy', but I dont see it like that. The only reason some sentences are missing punctuation is since I copied it straight from Word, and it did that.
 
RE: The Lounge

Yeah, that's a big issue for me. I'll admit to making some mistakes once in a while like overusing commas or misusing semi-colon, but nothing that's painstakingly noticable. It's fine here since the main goal is to promote and teach better writing skills, but if things were anymore atrocious, I'd have to have closed the story. In any case, I'll try to have my critique up soon if someone else doesn't get to it yet. But in the meantime, those were my primary concerns and, if you can fix them, you should be fine until I get a better critique ready. Don't think I'm a total softy, though, because I can be pretty thorough (I just need time when I'm doing really in-depth reviews, since I usually prewrite things before posting them online).
 
RE: The Lounge

Lol, ok. Thanks for the help, I'll take it into account when writing my next work art. What did you think of the plot/characters because all I saw is pointing out errors :p
 
RE: The Lounge

As a basic synopsis, I have to say that the story overall seemed a bit rushed. It didn't seem like there was a lot of character or plot build, and the plot itself was kind of skimpy and jumped around a lot (especially with the sequence changes and the mentioning of time travel). I apologize for not elaborating more, but I'd rather give you a better rundown on things with my actual critique than just lecture you here. Expect it tomorrow sometime (or if not, Monday, for sure).
 
RE: The Lounge

Care to elaborate, then? I mean, it helps if you give more specifics on you idea than just Ash participating in Unova's League Tournament, which is inevitable anyways in the anime (though that might be like a year or two out still).
 
RE: The Lounge

sorry littlepupftw i didn't mean to interrupt you(you ninja'd me i think)
anyway i deleted the post. i'll repost it later
 
RE: The Lounge

Yeah, just a tidbit from my personal experience: It's not a good idea to delete posts unless absolutely necessary. It can cause a lot of confusion when people do. Furthermore, I can't recover them to see what you wrote (not to my knowledge of my regular moderator abilities...Super Mods and the Admin might, but otherwise)... >.<

Anyways, try working with your idea a bit, LillipupFTW, and then post it. I'll probably be able to give you better insight once it's up. Right now, there's not much input I can give like I thought I'd be able too...sorry...
 
RE: The Lounge

It's fine. You don't have to repost it, but I am curious now as to what you wrote. Either way, it's up to you if you want to or not. If you feel it's unimportant or want to just keep it to yourself, that's perfectly fine. I just wouldn't make habit of it or people will start getting upset.
 
RE: The Lounge

Apollo

I need your writing wisdom. I want to apply to write a review for the Nintendo 3DS in The Cerulean. What kind of piece of writing should i be submitting?
 
RE: The Lounge

I'll remember that next time.
I said:
I have an idea for a series and I made a lot of the major plot events but I have trouble with the
parts in between.
I mean, after a major point in the story I know where I am going...but how do I get there?
 
RE: The Lounge

@Darkvoid: For the application or the review? The application should be in the form of a resume explicitly stating why you should be the one to write the review, what your credentials and writing experience are, etc. A review should be in the format of a journalistic essay explaining the good aspects of the system, its faults and flaws, why people should purchase it over other systems and how it compares to its predecessor and rivals (the DSi, PSP, etc.).
I don't have a lot of experience with writing resumes or journalistic essays, so this is about all I can help you with. Hope it helps you, Darkvoid.

@BrOkenICE: Fillers aren't hard to write, it's just a matter of keeping them significant to the plotline without overdoing things. A thing I try to consider is what side characters are connected to your main ones. There's a lot of room for side-plots and interactions if you're willing to consider things such as a character's social life (i.e. in my story Feral Twilight, I include some of Jay Christie's friends from high school who he meets up with in the second chapter before and event involving Miror B. from the Pokemon Colosseum and XD since the plot of the story is centered around Shadow Pokemon). I can't really offer up more than that unless you basically have the general outline for your series ready and can tell me it, or just post the beginning of a fanfic in the forum so I can look things over.
 
RE: The Lounge

Very well then. It helps me out if I have more information about what you're planning so I can give you better input.

Edit: I do write my fanfics as regular stories, so even if it isn't one per se, I can always give some kind of insight. So, by all means, PM me if you feel the need to.
 
RE: The Lounge

*obligatory moderator bump*

Right now I'm just starting a revival topic since I know this thread has a tendency to putter out after a while. On a personal note, I'm not sure how much I'll be online this week due to work. So, take this small topic in good health: If you can approximate, what would you say is the total amount of time it takes you to write a chapter, or about how much time do you take to work on the (near) finished draft of chapter?

I know that sounds a little redundant, especially coming from me since I'm still working on revisions to refine my stories and their chapters years after I originally completed them. However, on average, I'd probably put at least three weeks total working on and revising my individual chapters when I write.
 
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