jokes

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Two muffins are in the oven, one says "Hello, how are you?" to the other. The second one says "HOLY COW A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!"

A magician says he will make a rabit jump out of his arm. So he says "Abra, Kadabra,....Um.... Alakazam", do you know what pops out? An......*drummroll please* .......A...l...a...k...a...z...a...m!

Yes, I know the second one is very corny.
 
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
 
PokeChamp said:
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
Click to expand...

All I got to say is that I'd hate to be either the first or the second dude....lol.
 
What's black and white and red all over?

Many answers:

1. newspaper
2. zebra w/ sunburn
3. penguin holding it's breath
4. penguin in a blender
5. panda on a pogo stick
6. zebra roadkill
7. Dalmatian vs. Jack the Ripper
8. newspaper w/ ketchup spilled on it
9. the Egypt flag

And my personal favorite...

10. It's panda season
 
OMG BAD JOKE AHEAD!!!

Q: Why Couldn't the boy see the pirate movie?
A: Because it was rated; 'Arr'
 
Two snowmen are standing in a meadow. One snowman turns to the other and says, "Do you smell carrots?"
 
Good jokes guy's

two dogs are talking to each other.
" hey, I have won three of my five races"
"really, I have only won one of my five"
a pony walks past juggling flaming torches
" pfft, I have won all of my five races"
the pony leaves
" Whoa, did you see that, a talking pony!"

I hope you get it...
 
a general who commanded a battle ship always wore his red shirt to battle. for example, if the lookout cried "Three ships on the horizon!" the general asked for his red shirt. one day, the man who brought the shirt gathered everyone and asked "Why do you wear a red shirt to battle?" and the general replied, "Because if I am wounded, no one will see the blood and will continue fighting!" everyone agreed the general was very brave. the next day, 20 ships were on the horizon, that were reported by the lookout. The general replied by saying, "Right. fetch me my brown underpants."

I know another great one, but It isn't pokebeach friendly.
 
A mother has three children. One goes to mother and says "Why is my name Daisy?" Her mother says "Because a daisy fell on you head when you were born." The second does the same thing and says "Why is my name Daffodil?" Her mother says "Because a daffodil fell on you head when you were born." The third one does the same thing and says "Duhhhh Duhhhhhhhhh Duhhhhhhh...." The mother replies "Forget it Dumbbell."
 
Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal. ;)
Not bad, If I do say so my self.
 
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