jokes

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I have one
There was this woman who was pregnant of 3 kids. Then a thief shoots 3 times to the woman's stomach. 10 years later, the 1st son of this woman comes and says "Mum, I pooped and shoot the toilet", then the second one comes and says "Mum, I pooped and shoot the toilet". Then the third one comes and says "Mum, I farted and killed grandpa". LOLZ
 
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"
 
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