pearl delights the fanfic

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chapter #1
birhtday morning

"dawn honey are you coming down?" asked dawn's mom.
"yes mom" dawn replied.

dawn ran as fast as she could down stairs she ran so fast she tript over the carpet against the closet
when she heard a stange noise she tried to open the door but it was locked

"are you coming?"dawn's mom asked
"yes mom"dawn replied with a bored voise

"happy birthday sweetheart"dawn's mom said "oh and your friend chris is waiting for you"
"thanks mom"replied dawn with a happy attitude "i"ll be home as soon as possible"
"don't rush yourself" said her mom
"i won't" she replied
 
It sounds like a play, make it so they are talking, like this

"Dawn, come downstairs honey !" Dawn's mother said
"Okay, mom !" Dawn replied

Dawn ran as fast as she could, but he slipped on the carpet. As she got up, she heard something in the door next to it, but she couldn't open the door, it was locked

"Are you coming ?" Dawn's momther questioned
"Yes, mom !" Dawn replied
"Happy Birthday, sweetheart ! But now, you need to run and meet Chris, he's outside !" Dawn's mother stated
"I'll be home as soon as I can !" Dawn replied
"Don't rush yourself, dear !" Dawn's mother stated
"Don't worry mom, I won't !" Dawn replied

See, do it like that
 
Dawn and Pachirisu said:
It sounds like a play, make it so they are talking, like this

"Dawn, come downstairs honey !" Dawn's mother said
"Okay, mom !" Dawn replied

Dawn ran as fast as she could, but she slipped on the carpet. As she got up, she heard something in the door next to it, but she couldn't open the door, it was locked

"Are you coming ?" Dawn's momther questioned
"Yes, mom !" Dawn replied
"Happy Birthday, sweetheart ! But now, you need to run and meet Chris, he's outside !" Dawn's mother stated
"I'll be home as soon as I can !" Dawn replied
"Don't rush yourself, dear !" Dawn's mother stated
"Don't worry mom, I won't !" Dawn replied

See, do it like that
Click to expand...

I agree,though it sounds as if it's
a play too...
 
i'll work on it
chapter#2
suprise

"hey when are you getting your first pokemon?"asked chris
"actually i don't know"dawn replied"normally i would get it today but i think my mom forgot"
"that's to bad"he said"i would like to battle you when you get it"
"do you have a pokemon?"she asked
"yeah of course i got it 3 day's ago"he replied"let me show you"
"GO CINDAQUIL"chris schouted
*cinda cin*
"wow"dawn said"so cute"
"yeah i know my dad treat's my like a real trainer"he said"i need to train cindaquil every day from him"
"cool"she said" but i think it's time to go don't you think"
"yeah i bet your right"chris said"because your always right haha"

the two ran to dawn's house as fast as they could when they entered it was so dark they couldn't see anything and sundently

"SUPRISE"

the whole town gathered in the living room for dawn's birthday
dawn ran to her mom and said "thank you mom"
then dawn's mom said "that's not the only thing"
she gave dawn a blue pokeball
dawn was so happy she jump up and shouted"POKEBALL GO"
when sudently a piplup came out of the ball
*pipp lupp*
dawn ran to her piplup and hugged it the whole night it even slept in the same bed.

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tomorrow chapter three wil be made
 
chapter#3
the first battle

it's the morning after dawn's birthday
and she eager to train her lovely piplup
when chris came running upstairs

"hey dawn are you coming?"he asked"I wanna battle you"
"eum"dawn thougt"okay"

they ran outside to see who was stronger

chris shouted "GO CINDAQUIL"
at that moment dawn shouted"GO PIPLUP"

the two pokemon where just in front of each other
they where both eager to fight for their trainers

dawn shouted "PIPLUP USE BUBBLE"
and chris shouted"JUMP UP AND USE EMBER"the bubbles wher bursted by the heat and the ember hit piplup so piplup grew mad and without any saying of dawn piplup used peck on cindaquil knocking cindaquil out

chris said"good going dawn"he grabbed his pokemon and brougt it home to rest
dawn shouted to him"will cindaquil be okay"
chris replied"yeah he'll be just fine when i cured him
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chapter#4 maybe later or tommorow i'll see
plz comment
 
It's good, but post the next Chapter. And give it more detail, there isn't much expressed in the chapters
 
chapter#4
seeing a brightnew light

"hey dawn"chris yelled "are u coming witheme to sandgem town the proffesor wants to meet us"
"sure i'll come"dawn replied

the two ran to the proffesors house but there was nobody there exept for leroy the other neighbour af dawn they where sworn rivals leroy had a bulbasaur for along time now dawn asked leroy " do you know where everybody is?"
"yeah"leroy replied "look at the note on the table u''ll see"

dawn looked at the table there was a note on that note was writen i'mnot gonna tell

"very funny leroy "dawn said


but leroy already left leaving the twosome alone in the house when suddenly a light apeard the light was crying something
it was saying *mesprt*

"hey dawn that's the legendary pokemon mesprit" chris said "it's said to be the being of emotion maybe it will help us


the mesprit flew away

the twosome was going after it

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wanna know more come see tommorow

reply plz
 
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