Writing Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger- CHAPTER 8 FINALLY UP :O

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RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

~Magma King~ said:
Thanks Bellomence! Shame you've already gone insane :p.
I'll update this when chapter 5 is finished. More fishy crimes and action, is there really a pattern here? And if so, who's behind it all?

Yeah, although I like my role there. What scares me is that Pokebeach will hate your story just because of my name inside it, or maybe not.

Anyhow, it's very good so far. =]
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

I doubt so :p. If people really hated you, you're evil, so it works both ways =D.

Chapter 5! Is there a connection between these crimes? Is there a higher goal? And if so, who is the mastermind?

Chapter 5- Invisible web
“Bellomence. Born in Psyoaks City. Moved to Poke beach a few years ago. No criminal record. Runs a small-
“WPM, stop it”, said Duke, “You’re going paranoid over this. Get some fresh air, clear your head, get out of the office”. WPM did not answer, and simply waited, twiddling his thumbs.
“If only DKR was still here… He’d have figured this connection, this, invisible web, in no time. We’d be on the tra-
“No point crying about what’s lost”, said PMJ, “We know DKR’s gone and there’s nothing we can do about that. He died fighting for us, just like Porygo-
“CORRECTION. LUCKILY BACON HAS GREAT SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE OF THE PORYGON PROGRAM AND MANAGED TO REBUILD ME. HE PLANS ON UPGRADING ME TO A GREATER MODEL LATER THIS WEEK, IN FACT”. A blocky, pink and blue Pokemon hovered into the room.
“Bacon?” Said WPM, “What did you do?”. Everybody stared at Bacon, as he in turn twiddled his thumbs and ruffled through his hair.
“Porygon was a good person”, Bacon said, “I couldn’t let him die. Not while his conscience remained in his suit. Not while there was still a cha-
“He’s not like Porygon”, said KG, “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“I assure you”, stuttered Bacon, “That a newer model will have more improved, human like thinking. Me and GODZILLA were working on it, called it “Porygon-2” ”.
“Very inventive”, remarked Duke, “But no matter, a good thought none the less”
“Uh… Just look after him”, said WPM, “And I’m still annoyed. Unless you manage to get this “Human like” thinking… This isn’t Porygon”
“WPM, it’s the best I could d-
“Guys!” Shouted KG. KG signalled a silence. “I’ve received word of an armoured robbery at the museum. One man, in a dark cloak”
“Better get there”, said WPM, “KG, Spoon, follow me. The rest of you, stay here. And Bacon… Get Zilla here”.

“Burn!” Laughed DC, a metallic bracelet in hand. Looking around, he saw 3 figures running at him from out the museum. “Ugh”, he said, “More damn poli-
“Nope. Just me”, suddenly, chaos ensued. DC was thwacked by KG, DC recoiling and holding his head.
“&$%$! off!” He groaned, “No poi-
“Yep”, another punch was threw at DC, who in turn, caught KG’s fist in the palm of his hand.
“How did you-
“Do that?” Said DC, “Easy. Just like I can do this”. Opening his hand again, DC fired a burst of black-purple fire.
“All right”, said KG, “Play it your way”. The two fired a beam of fire at each other, both exploding in the middle. However, as it progressed, DC’s fire ate away at KG’s resulting in him rolling around on the floor, satanic faces arising from the flames. “Now please, go away!”, said DC.
“No”, said WPM, jumping into KG’s position, “Think it through. You may have a… strange, powerful grasp of fire, but you forgot one thing”
“Huh?” Said DC, his hand slipping behind his back.
“You’re still weak to me!” Shouted WPM, striking DC with the strength of a tidal wave. DC flew through the air, only to yet again be caught by KG.
“What the %$!* do you want from me?!” Screamed DC, wriggling in KG’s grip.
“Information”, said KG, “Why are you here?”
“Hmmmm, telling you that would ma-
“Shut up for *$!% sake!” Shouted KG, WPM and Spoon joining him.
“I swear, I know nothing I-
“Know nothing?!” KG was now roaring, “How the hell can you know nothing?! You’re robbing a %$!*ing museum, how the hell do you know nothing?!”
“KG, stop it!” Shouted WPM, “The bracelet, it’s gone” KG frowned. Spoon beckoned them back, he and WPM leaving.
“I’m not done with you”, said KG, “but I don’t want the government involved too”, with that, KG dropped him, and flew off.

“Bacon”, said Zilla, “I think it’d be better if we-
“Stopped for a moment”
“Huh?” Said Bacon, turning around.
“We’re back”, said WPM, “Somebody left with the bracelet. Guess we have more confusion added into the mess, too”
“What do you mean?” Asked Bacon, casually dropping his tools.
“Dark Charizard. I’m not sure how, but he seems to have acquired… Certain abilities. He’s able to effectively control shadow fire. How he did this…” WPM trailed off.
“Invisible web”, said HS, “DC couldn’t have done this by himself. He couldn’t organise this. There must be something bigger, closer to the centre”…

“Something big”
“Sir”, said DC, “got the amulet”
“Excellent. Spectacular. Time and time again, we thwart WPM, get what we want, until we get him back. And once we get him back, his force will ruin the people of Pokebeach forever!”
“Uh”, stuttered DC, but it was too late, as the other voice had already broken into hideous cackling, making DC naturally inclined to join. “Soon!” Said the other voice in a hysterical roar, “WPM, my nemesis! You will lose your city, just as I lost mine!”…
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

Well done yes i got the amulet wohoo!
Whatever that thing does :S
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

Ahahaha, how did you know so much information about me?

Anyhow, I'm still willing to see more of the story. *wonders* What could that amulet be?
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

Hello Magma King. I belive your story is almost like my friend's, Lenny's, fic. I'm also lead to belive that your fic is possibly plagerism. I think it might be because of the suits and powers, but hey, what do I know?
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

I just quickly skimmed this and I saw someone say I died in this story. How dare you Magma King. How. Dare. You. :[

dmaster out.
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

Phoenix said:
Hello Magma King. I belive your story is almost like my friend's, Lenny's, fic. I'm also lead to belive that your fic is possibly plagerism. I think it might be because of the suits and powers, but hey, what do I know?

Everybody has powers in it, not just mods. It's only WPM's armour that lets them be activated. The only way somebody can outlet their power is through the armour. 'Tis very different from Lenny's in a sense(I have read it).

And sorry D-Master, better luck next life. :p
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

Chapter 6- New Metal
They knew why they were there.
There were 7.
They held the shiny green armour in front of them.
4 New, revived from grey.
2 left in pink, back to grey, back to green.
1 from green to a new, refreshing pink.
There were 7.
4 new to the feeling, relishing and rejoicing in the savage rain.
2 grinning in content, remembering the old days.
The days where it was a game.
1 enjoying the new colour, the new power, superior to the old.
Then, months later, they return.
There were 6.
They remember the old days, where they were family…
They share an old joke.
They begin to laugh, as the thunder clashes.
And then, before help could arrive…
Then, there were none…


“You know why we were called here”, said Bacon, looking at the new moderators in a mask that was so neutral it became inhuman. “All 6 of you, you know. Bam, Pride, Amt, Secretsof, Myles…” Bacon paused, glaring at the last, and only just managed to angrily mutter the words, “Holy star”. Bacon cleared his throat, and then continued. “I trust you all know GODZILLA, yes?”
“Yep”, they said, nodding their heads, if only slightly.
“He’s been missing from the institution for days. We need to investigate this-
“Investigate?” Said Pride, quickly cutting him off, “I was hoping for something more physical, but hey”
“Investigating is important”, said Bacon, slapping Pride with the back of his hand, “Moderating isn’t a thrill. It’s a job. If you don’t like it, you can quit…” The crowd settled into a silence. “We’ll head off now”, said Bacon, “Remember to use the RC if you find anything of interest”.

Hours were spent scanning the building. It was at least 10 storeys high, consisting of 8 floors. Finally, hope was poured into the mystery by Holy Star, pulling the Radio Communicator from her shoulder.
“Think I got something, Bacon”
“Great!” He said, and then his voice deepening a little, “What?”
“Traces of… I dunno. Some sort of lava. It’s cooled a little but it’s still kinda dangerous… Why lava? How would anybody be able to transport hot lava all the way to here?”
“Unless…”, Said Bacon, biting his lip, “Unless it wasn’t transported”
“You mean?…-
“No. It’d take a genius to break that vault. There’s a 20 digit code, reinforced titanium chains, guard dogs, security cannons with enough heat to-
“I get it”, said Holy Star, “I get it. But you know technology these days…”
“If you think on that line”, said Bacon, “Who’s to say it couldn’t of been taken here?”

The office. A huge tower, black and blue, shining amongst the glare of modern society, casting a watchful eye over the insanity and chaos that shook the rest of the city so badly. It penetrated the sky, proved more dynamic than the sun, and the neon lights on the outside would be prettier than a full moon. And on the top floor, sat one man, at a desk, holding his head in his hands awaiting another phone call…
“WPM, WPM, it’s Bacon here. Holy star found some lava traces in the institution. Me and the others will be back shortly”
“K, I’ll be waiting”, WPM said, twiddling his thumbs and scratching the desk.
“Didn’t think you’d hold out?”
“Huh?”
“Didn’t think you’d hold out. With the earthquake, RiskBreakers, masked men…”
“Who are you?”
“Jon, you know who I am”, the voice continued, mysterious and taunting. WPM clenched his fists and stood from his chair.
“Yes, I know who you are… Get out”
“Now that’s harsh, even for you”, came the voice, mocking and anonymous.
“Get out. Just because your city was destroyed doesn’t mean mine has to be too. I don’t like you, and you have no reason to be here. So get out”
“I have my reasons”, it said, “You are looking for GODZILLA, yes?”
“Yes. Why the hell do you ask?”
“I know where he is, Jon-
“I am not Jon anymore, and I don’t care. I’ll find it by myself if I have too. Get, out!” WPM slammed the desk, sending a computer mouse flying upwards.
“WPM, he could be here, he could be not. He could be safe, he could be in danger. He could last 6 months… or 6 minutes”, The voice continued as always, ignoring WPM’s anger. With a sudden rush of wind, WPM swooped around, furious and shaking.
“Gone”, he cried, throwing himself to the floor. The door creaked open.
“WPM, I’m… Back?”…
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

Phoenix said:
Hello Magma King. I belive your story is almost like my friend's, Lenny's, fic. I'm also lead to belive that your fic is possibly plagerism. I think it might be because of the suits and powers, but hey, what do I know?

This is getting quite annoying. Just because I made a fic with Moderators in it, everybody starts copying my idea. First Fridge, then you, now someone else. I have to say, Fridge's is more of a comedy, if it would have kept going, so I didn't really care. But yours! They have powers, suits...seriously, what the heck? Can't you come up with your OWN ideas? I try extremely hard thinking of new things for my story and to make it better for the reader.

You copy my idea. You get more fans. You get more readers. That is seriously fudged up.
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

So you expect me to make a PB fic without mods? It wouldn't work.

I didn't copy you. I never intended it to be a copy, and I never will. If anybody had made a fic about PB, it would be the same case. The ideas are really basic, and if you read it all, you'd know that the plot is extremely different.
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

Hold on hold on, Magma king has never ever read your story before until your friend said that Magma King was copying you. So how had he of copied you. Also it's not that hard to make a story with mods in it i bet a lot of people has already done it. Anyways who cares lenny noone evr reads it anymore.

Any way *calms him self down after dealing with person that can't accept a really good story writer is: Magma King the great* brilliant story mate hope you keep it up!
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

Hey, I forgot about the story for a short time. But hey I am still alive! YES!!

Anyhow good story keep it up.
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

Wait....so...every mod story out thre will have powers and suits? A office? Also, this story was made after Len's,just pointing that out. Len works hard on his story, yet you come along and decide to make sure everyone gets powers,and the chapters are short with not alot of buildop, then, ofcourse, everyone is like "Amazing story!!!1!" Are you still blind of this?? Let's pretend Len has copyright on his storys...like this [c]. Would you copy it then? No,I'm guessing that you might think of still having mods in a story....please....you can do it but it would be really rude.

-Phoenix
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

dark charizard said:
Hold on hold on, Magma king has never ever read your story before until your friend said that Magma King was copying you. So how had he of copied you. Also it's not that hard to make a story with mods in it I bet a lot of people has already done it. Anyways who cares lenny noone evr reads it anymore.

Any way *calms him self down after dealing with person that can't accept a really good story writer is: Magma King the great* brilliant story mate hope you keep it up!

EXCUSE ME?! Nobody ever reads my story anymore? You have quite some nerve to say such a thing. First of all, the first thread doesn't have any more replies because I finished it. The first part is done. And it has 10 long chapters. My last chapter is longer than all of your chapters combined, and still way longer. And yet, you get more readers when your chapters are 300-500 words long. Mine are AT LEAST, 1500-3000 words. My story is more descriptive, longer, and believe me, a much more cliff-hanging plot.

A REALLY GOOD WRITER WITH A STOLEN IDEA? I mean I would have let you off with the powers and all, but the suits...what the heck. In my first chapter ever, it even goes IN DEPTH of how the suits looked and all.

And now continuining back to why nobody reads my first thread. Because it's finished and I'm currently writing the sequel, which is already up. And my sequel was made 5 days before MagmaKing's story. I bet you're saying MagmaKing is a better writer than me, right? When you read my story, you'll think otherwise. It pisses me off so much when people go read your story when you pretty much looked at my story, said "hey, he's getting a lot of replies. I like that idea, why don't I copy it". And dark charizard, MagmaKing said he read my story before he wrote his. That was implied in the sentence. He said, "'Tis very different from Lenny's in a sense(I have read it)." He read it obviously before writing his.
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

For christ's sake I even read it to check nothing was too similar. And it isn't. Yes, it's short. But nobody else complained. :)
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

Why don't you stop trying to stop mk's story and admt it's better and if you're story is so good then why don't you go and write another chapter of it?
 
RE: Pokebeach- Cliff Hanger

dark charizard said:
Why don't you stop trying to stop mk's story
^

Admit you aren't totally original and leave the thread alone. Your story is still popular and going, and if it's really as good as you claim you wouldn't care about this one anyway.
 
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