Anyway, enough of my cynical sarcasm. Let's get on to the true humor:
"What a week it was. The whole world was on the edge of their seats watching a bunch of grown men try to escape from a hole they dug for themselves. But enough about the Democrats, let's talk about those Chilean miners."
Alright, I'm not going to post without a joke, so here goes:
There once was this Guru who always walked on his feet, so he developed really bad calluses. He also had an odd diet, that made him really thin and frail. Due to this weird diet, he had bad breath.
So, this made him: Super callused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.