Zenith's Kompletely-Amazing Game for Winners

I have to drop. On vacation, and wifi isnt readily available so, please drop me. Have fun guys
 
I wanted to see what the aliens would do about the Beaver fever :p This game is Kompletely Amazing and I'm next in line for substitutes since Ludicolo 909 is banned... again lol
I hope I get to get in after Pokenerd
 
Trying to decide what the next round will be. It'll be up by tomorrow.

Haven't decided who will replace Darkvoid57 yet.
 
I WOULD ^_^....but I can't T_T, because SOME people think we have too many substitutes.
*cough* ^this guy^ *cough*
 
Ludicolo909 is in, unless he gets banned again.

Sorry for the long wait! Without further ado, here's...

ROUND THREE
>GET YE FLASK

Another fairly basic round. It is, like the last one, text-based. I will be posting a brief description. You need to suggest text commands for it...you know, like a text adventure. I will choose the best answer, and the supplier of that answer will get points based on how awesome it is. Here are some rules.
  • You can only post one suggestion at a time.
  • Commands must be phrased in a manner like old text adventures, such as "get x" or "climb y".
  • Don't be an idiot.
  • If you manage to get your character killed, you lose a lot of points.
Carve your schema pumpkins, 'cause it's time to do this thing.

>You are Blank, top mercenary who has ever lived ever. You have just gotten a job.
->Your task: Kill the fiendish Overlord PMJ and save Princess Shining_Raikou.
->Your inventory: Gun (may or may not work), bullets, tiny chain, paperclip, lint.
->Your funds: $00.58
->Your stats:
-->Who cares: 6
-->Whatever: 8
-->Other Stat: 3

>You begin in your office. Papers are everywhere. There is no window. The door is locked from the outside, somehow. In the room with you: a desk with a desklamp and several drawers, a bookshelf with a bunch of books, and a painting of President James K. Polk.
>What do you do?

Round ends March 6.
 
5 points to 42 chocolate.

>You care not for intricate paintings of forgotten former presidents and destroy the artwork of James Knox Polk. Who cares about Oregon? Not you!
>Behind the painting is a keypad.
 
Stare at keypad intently, look very puzzled, push a bunch of random keys.
Whatever increased by 1?
 
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