Writing Pokemon: The Savior of the Destroyed Galaxy! Finally completed!

RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 4 is now up! In the cave!

Chapter four: In the cave
Adron, and his new-found partner, Ash, headed towards Disaster cave. The path wasn't very long, and was very close to the inn, the walk was about five minutes. As they approached the cave, they saw a rustic-looking sign (some of the paint was peeling off of the sign), and the sign read:
Disaster cave, turn back now, before it's too late!
Adron looked at the sign, but payed it no mind. He had to rescue Cyrun. If he didn't, no one would. Cyrun's life was in Adron's hands, and he wasn't going to let Cyrun down!
"So... why are going into Disaster cave again?", asked Ash. He seemed somewhat frightened, and he lost his usual coolness. His Pikachu didn't seem to like the prospect that they would entering Disaster cave, either.
"It's because we need to rescue Cyrun," explained Adron, "I'm his last hope!".
"OK...", said Ash, "Pikachu! Don't be worried about what's inside that cave! As long as you and me stick together, we'll get through this fine!". This didn't seem to help Pikachu, and Pikachu quickly jumped inside Ash's backpack. They reached the entrance of cave, looked back one last time, and entered the inky blackness of Disaster cave.

"Mew! Use Flash!", exclaimed Adron. Mew's hands started to glow.
It was as if an artist had painted over the canvas, so changed did the cave look without it's usual darkness. Many diamonds stood tall in the cave, and they were radiant in the light that Mew had given the two trainers.
"Good job, Mew!, shouted Adron.
The cave echoed with Adron's yell.

They advanced farther into the cave, never looking back. The cave seemed to be an endless expanse of diamonds. The two trainers started to get confused, as the cave had many twists and turns in it. They stopped all of a sudden, and decided to rest up a little bit.
"So, that's Mew?", asked Ash.
"Yes," Adron told Ash, "I got him from my mentor, Zarik."
"Oh, okay. So, do you know what moves Mew can learn?", Ash asked.
"No, all I know is that he knows Flash", explained Adron.
"Well, don't worry, I'm sure you'll find out soon!", exclaimed Ash.

They ended their rest, and they took off once more.
"Didn't we pass that odd-looking diamond twice already?", asked Ash.
"You're right, we did!", exclaimed Adron.
Suddenly, they heard voices in the cave,
"What are we going to do with that brat?", asked one of the voices.
"We'll take the Xatu for our own, and leave the boy here!", said another.
"Quick, Mew!, Adron whispered,
"Turn off the light!".
The two trainers, and Mew, hid behind a large rock, and Mew turned off the light. Adron and Ash could see who the two strangers were, though, as they carried a large lantern. They were obviously Team Galactic grunts, as their odd uniforms proved.
"Did it just get darker?", asked one of the grunts. He was thick-set, and he had a very tough-looking appearance.
"Nah, you're just imagining things like usual!", said the other grunt. He was skinny, and looked the more sensitive of the two.
"Quick!", whispered Adron, "Let's follow them!".
"Okay.", replied Ash.

They followed the grunts for what seemed like forever, until the grunts stopped near a chipped diamond. It was tall, but it didn't look as splendorous as the other diamonds.
"We are Galactic, we rule all!", the two grunts started chanting,
"We are Galactic, we are the best of the best,"
"We strive to to make imperfection fall,"
"We will strive to complete this test,"
"We are Galactic, and none stand in our way,"
"We are Galactic, keeping those who oppose us at bay!".
After this series of chants, the diamond split in two, and it revealed a previously hidden archway. The two trainers followed the grunts inside of this hidden chamber. Inside, there was plenty of light. Adron and Ash quickly hid behind a pile boxes that held various inventions, to avoid getting caught. From behind the pile of boxes, there was a slight slit that Adron was able to look through. He saw a sort-of prison cell, and inside it, Cyrun, the boy from Adron's dream. His Xatu had it's wings bound with an odd-looking device, and it seemed to restrict Xatu's power. Team Galactic opened the prison door,
"Give us your Pokemon!", demanded the bigger of the grunts.
"No, I won't let you!", shouted Cyrun, tears running down his face, his voice pulsing with deep passion.
"You can either give him to us willingly,", said thinner grunt, "Or you can give him to us unwillingly!". The two grunts inched closer and closer to the boy, preparing themselves to wrestle the boy out of his Pokemon. This was too much for Adron, he couldn't let them take away Cyrun's Pokemon. He thought about how empty his life would be without Pidgeot, and he used this as his courage. He from behind the boxes, and yelled,
"Don't you even think about taking his Pokemon, Team Galactic".
The two grunts turned around, and saw Adron and Ash.
"Those two are wanted by the boss!", exclaimed the thinner grunt,
"Get 'em!".
They rushed forward, and at the speed they were running, they would've easily taken down the two boys. But suddenly, Mew covered the two boys in a protective bubble, and the two grunts rebounded after hitting the barrier. Mew then released the protective down, and then Adron said,
"If you want to take us your boss, then you'll have to defeat us in a Pokemon battle!". The two grunts looked somewhat stunned from hitting the barrier, but there answer was fast enough,
"Fine, we'll battle two on two!", the grunts said.
They pulled two dark-looking Poke Balls from their belts, and threw them into the air. Out of the Poke Balls emerged a dragon with a flaming tail, and a giant turtle armed with two cannons on it's shell.
Adron sent out his Pidgeot, and Pikachu emerged from Ash's backpack.
"PikaPika!", exclaimed the yellow rodent.
"Charizard, let's beat these brats with your Flamethrower!". Charizard inhaled, and then let loose a stream of fiery breath, aimed at Pidgeot. Pidgeot dodged just in time, and then Adron commanded,
"Pidgeot, use Aerial Ace!". Althought this attack wasn't that powerful, it never missed it's target, and Charizard took a hit. Meanwhile, Blastoise has fired Water from it's cannons at Pikachu, but Pikachu dogded this attack, and let loose electricity from it's tail.
"PIIIKACHUUUUUU!", yelled the Pokemon. The electricity hit Blastoise straight on, and Blastoise went down from the immense of electricity dispersed by Pikachu. Ash exclaimed, "We did it, Pikachu!", and Pikachu happily replied,
"PiPikachu!".
Adron wasn't having as much luck as Ash. He had attempted to use Hyper Beam on Charizard, but Charizard was faster and he had hit Pidgeot quite a few times with his Flamethrower. One more hit, and this could be over, thought Adron. But Adron decided that for Cyrun's sake, he must survive, and this thought gave him power.
"Pidgeot, Fly up in the air!", commanded Adron. The grunt, thinking that Pidgeot was going to dive, readied himself for the in-coming bird. But Pidgeot didn't dive. Instead, he loosed a powerful Hyper Beam upon Charizard, who went down from the massive impact.
"Alright, Pidgeot!", cried Adron.
The two grunts, stunned from their defeat, ran away, while a happy Mew chased after them, firing little bolts of Psychic energy at them while they ran.

After the grunts defeat, Adron and Ash walked over to Cyrun's prison, and unlocked it (it needed no key, as the grunts had forgotten to properly lock it).
"Thank you for rescuing me!", cried Cyrun, as he unbound his Xatu of it's binds.
"Why did Team Galactic capture you?", asked Adron.
"Because they thought that I was a powerful trainer,", explained Cyrun.
"This Xatu came to me one day while I was walking in my uncle's garden, and ever since then, he's been my best friend. But Team Galactic saw him come to me, and they took me and Xatu away."
"But how does that mean you're a powerful trainer?", asked Ash. Pikachu looked confused too.
"Well, only a powerful trainer can befriend Pokemon like I befriended Xatu. He had never met me before, yet he knew I could be trusted.". Xatu seemed to agree with this, because he made a little noise.
"Well, you're safe now!", said Adron. With these words, Adron and Ash started to leave.
"Wait!", cried Cyrun,
"Let me come with you!".
"We are going to challenge Team Galactic, and we could use all the help we can get. It will be a tough fight. Knowing this, do you still wish to join us?", asked Adron.
"Absolutely!", cried Cyrun.
"I can't let Team Galactic waltz right up to whoever they feel like, and then just capture them because they befriended a Pokemon.", explained Cyrun.
"I have to make sure what happened to me, doesn't happen to anyone else!".
"Alright then,", said Adron,
"Welcome to the crew!".

Zarik and Team Heart advanced farther towards their destination. They never looked back, and they were ready to fight. They were a few hundred feet from G Castle, Cyrus' private retreat. They were still in the forest, but the growth of the forest was lower and lower the more they advanced towards Cyrus' palace.
"We will arrive at our destination by sundown, sir,", explained Xanthius,
"And at some point we may wish to set up camp, and plan our attack!".
"Excellent!", exclaimed Zarik.
"We will be able to overthrow Team Galactic even soon...", he stopped. Zarik had heard a noise, a very faint noise, but every now and then, he could hear it coming closer. Then, after a few moments, he started to understand what the noise was.
"Sir, is everything alright?", asked Xanthius.
"No... No, I don't think so,", he replied,
"Make sure everyone has their Poke Balls ready". The noise was coming even closer, and as Zarik had expected, he heard the roar of the engines. Then, he saw a bright red bike off in the distance, inching it's way even closer to Team Heart.
"Sir... What is that?". asked Xanthius.
"That's a motorbike!", explained Zarik. Xanthius seemed confused.
"Tell Team Heart to go ahead without me,", commanded Zarik,
"I will handle Doom!".
"But, sir...", Xanthius started to argue, but Zarik interrupted him,
"That's an order Xanthius!".
Xanthius quickly ran over to Team Heart, and told them of Zarik's decision.
They all left, being led by Xanthius. Zarik stood firm, watching Doom come closer, and closer. In order to give Team Heart enough time, this had to be done, he thought. As the motorbike sped towards him, coming even nearer now, Zarik prepared himself for his face-off. He was standing there, waiting for his Doom.

The butler of G Castle was polishing the finely crafted statues of the palace, when all of a sudden, his master, Cyrus, came over to him. He then spoke,
"What is the status of Team Heart?", he asked. The butler, starting to seem somewhat frightened, replied,
"They are inching their way here, coming even nearer all the time".
"I thought that I had commanded the secret spies to deal with them already!", shouted Cyrus, his anger starting to increase. The butler started calming down, as if he has been preparing for this,
"You know, as well as I do, sir, that the secret spies only strike at night."
"Oh,", Cyrus started to calm down from his previous rage, "I forgot about that."
"Say no more, sir, I understand that you are a busy man, one in your circumstances would quickly forget about trivial things, such as the secret spies", The butler said. Cyrus didn't seem to care about the butler's constant flattery. He was used to getting things the way he wanted them, and the butler sucking up to him was no exception.
"Prepare my dinner,", commanded Cyrus.
"Yes, sir,", complied the butler.
"Wait!", shouted Cyrus. The butler turned around, thinking that he was somehow in trouble.
"Yes, sir...", he asked cautiously.
"Don't forget to pour me some of the oldest wine you have.", he told the butler.
"Oh, yes, sir.", replied the butler, Walking away quickly, in case his master decided to find some reason to get the butler in trouble, as he often did.


A quick note:​
In the previous chapter, Adron was told by Zarik that no one ever comes out of Disaster cave. The reason for this, is because Team Galactic spread this rumor, to keep people out of the cave, as they needed somewhere to hide any prisoners they ever needed to keep captive. Spies were sent out, dressed as normal people, and they spread the rumors about Disaster cave. This trick was so convincing that even Zarik fell for it. I just thought you should know this.
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 3 is now up! Cyrun's message!

Very good, you seem to make them longer now :D

I'd avoid using the () though.


PokeChamp said:
We are Galactic, we rule all!", the two grunts started chanting,
"We are Galactic, we are the best of the best,"
"We strive to to make imperfection fall,"
"We will strive to complete this test,"
"We are Galactic, and none stand in our way,"
"We are Galactic, keeping those who oppose us at bay!"

"Meowth, fire away! :D"

that seriously sounded like a certain pair of Team Rocket goons lol.
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 4 is now up! In the cave!

SixaxiS said:
Very good, you seem to make them longer now :D

I'd avoid using the () though.


PokeChamp said:
We are Galactic, we rule all!", the two grunts started chanting,
"We are Galactic, we are the best of the best,"
"We strive to to make imperfection fall,"
"We will strive to complete this test,"
"We are Galactic, and none stand in our way,"
"We are Galactic, keeping those who oppose us at bay!"

"Meowth, fire away! :D"

that seriously sounded like a certain pair of Team Rocket goons lol.

That was the point, they are supposed to sound like a duo. I almost included a talking Pokemon in this chapter, but thought better of it. I came up with that creed myself, BTW. I'll avoid the () from now one, I was just trying new things.

Like I told you guys, Ash is no longer fooling around, he actually won faster than Adron (he did have a good matchup, though), and I am keeping the annoying factor at bay.

Edit:
Meowth, fire away, LOL.
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 4 is now up! In the cave!

Also, you described Disaster Cave as a place where no one would come back out alive.

Seems like some ordinary everyday cave to me though...

I wouldn't edit anything about this chapter, it's as good as it'll get. But i do suggest you give Disaster Cave some more attention in one of the later chapters, after the plot has been revealed a bit more :p Right now, the best would be to use it as a setting for the final showdown, but no sooner. That's what i'd do at least :p
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 4 is now up! In the cave!

SixaxiS said:
Also, you described Disaster Cave as a place where no one would come back out alive.

Seems like some ordinary everyday cave to me though...

I wouldn't edit anything about this chapter, it's as good as it'll get. But I do suggest you give Disaster Cave some more attention in one of the later chapters, after the plot has been revealed a bit more :p Right now, the best would be to use it as a setting for the final showdown, but no sooner. That's what I'd do at least :p

The reason no one comes out alive is because Team Galactic makes it so. They spread this rumor, and then get ordinary people to spread it even more. Even wise men like Zarik can get fooled by this trick. I actually didn't intend to use Disaster cave as the final battle place. I will edit in the information that I gave you in the chapter, as I guess it can be somewhat confusing, and I seem to be the only one who knows this information.

Edit: At the bottom of chapter four, I have included the information given here.
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 4 is now up! In the cave!

Then why didn't Zarik just tell Adron?

Plothole! :D


one more thing. Team Heart set out to find strong trainers and pokémon, so why are they attacking Cyrus' castle head-on all of a sudden? (they just head straight into Galactic's buildings without a solid plan, that just seems person to me)

Like i said. Think it up before you write it down :) And never forget the content of your previous chapters so you don't mix things up.
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 4 is now up! In the cave!

SixaxiS said:
Then why didn't Zarik just tell Adron?

Plothole! :D


one more thing. Team Heart set out to find strong trainers and pokémon, so why are they attacking Cyrus' castle head-on all of a sudden? (they just head straight into Galactic's buildings without a solid plan, that just seems person to me)

Like I said. Think it up before you write it down :) And never forget the content of your previous chapters so you don't mix things up.

Zarik didn't tell Adron, because he had no way of knowing. He thought the information was correct. As for heading to Team Galactic's Castle, I guess that doesn't make much sense, does it. Well, perhaps in order to go to one of the towns the needed to go in, they had to drop by Cyrus' Castle first, 'cause it was on the way, yet the had no way of getting past it, so they had to take down the castle first. I'll put this information in the previous chapter. I hate plotholes :D
And now, I just made one!

Edit:
I put this information in chapter 3. That covers up the plotholes.
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 5 is now up! Team Heart fights back!

Chapter five: Team Heart fights back!
Team Heart set up a camp once they had reached within 50 feet of the castle. They set up their tents, started a fire, and started to formulate a plan.
"We should attack in the morning, while they are unprepared!", explained Xanthius, who was an expert at making plans.
"We will rush to the front if the castle, take down their door, and capture Cyrus, who will have to agree with our terms. The castle will then be ours, and we can make sure it is never in the hands of Team Galactic again!". Team Heart loved this plan, and they went to bed, except for Braxin, who remained on guard duty. Braxin was strong, but a little on the dumb side. It's because of this that he payed no mind to the Ariados creeping along the campsite. However, even someone as thick as Braxin would be able to understand that they were all in danger, so he walked towards the spider Pokemon. Perhaps it is wild, he thought to himself. He pulled out his Poke Ball. The spider turned around, and fired a spider web at Braxin, suspending him to the ground.
"Excellent, Ariados!", an oily voice exclaimed. Suddenly, from one of the trees, jumped out a black-clothed man. His face was covered, and he looked a lot like a ninja. He walked commanded the Ariados to take Braxin to the G Castle, and the Ariados obeyed, and with some effort, it carried away Braxin into the depths of the forest. The mysterious man took out a walky-talky, and he said into it's speaker,
"Tell master Cyrus that Team Heart will arrive at his castle shortly.". And with that, many Araidos came out from the trees, and carried off many members of Team Heart. A few members were able to escape in time, as Araidos spinning their webs aren't exactly some of the most quiet noises out there. Among these members was Xanthius, and he was rushing towards the castle with the remaining members of Team Heart rushing with him. It seemed that he had a back-up plan.

Xanthius arrived at the G Castle before the secret spies did, which was a good thing. He then asked,
"Which one of you has a Fire type?". Someone in the back raised her hand,
"I do. It's my Typhlosion. What do you need me to do?".
"I need you to blow down the door!", exclaimed Xanthius. With that, she threw a Poke Ball into the air, and out of it came a flaming Pokemon.
"Typhlosion! Use Eruption!", she commanded. Typhlosion let many flames loose from his back, and aimed them at the massive door of G Castle. The door went down in a massive explosion, and Team Heart rushed inside. They split up, and Xanthius went up the stairs. He took a left, and opened a random door. He found Cyrus calmly sleeping in his bed.
"Time to wake up, Cyrus!", exclaimed Xanthius, mocking him. Cyrus woke up, but when he saw Xanthius, he looked scared. He shook off his fright, however, and shouted,
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING IN MY CASTLE?". Xanthius gave a chuckle, and sent out his Alakazam. Alakazam used Psychic on Cyrus, and he was suspended in air, unable to move.
"I think it's time you left your castle, Cyrus,", Xanthius said,
"It's time for your rule to end!". Xanthius heard a ruckus downstairs, and he rushed downstairs to find out what it was. He saw all of Team Heart, rescued. The secret spies were all tied up, as well as Team Galactic, or they had ran away. Then, Xanthius saw Alakazam get launched from the room, and he landed in front of Xanthius. Xanthius returned Alakazam to his Poke Ball. He rushed upstairs, and saw Cyrus was no where to be found. He saw a broken window, and he looked outside it. Cyrus had taken off on his Honchkrow, almost unseen because of the blackness of Honchkrow in the night. As he flew away, he laughed like a maniac.
"Darn!", cursed Xanthius. Xanthius walked downstairs, and said,
"Cyrus has escaped!". Team Heart all sat down, feeling that their victory was so close, but they had lost it for now. Xanthius looked for Zarik, but found he was nowhere to be found.
"We will have to look for him tomorrow,", said Xanthius,
"But until then, we will all have a good sleep I am assured!", and with this, all of Team Heart found a room for themselves to sleep in, and they were going to have a good rest tonight, in the comfy beds of Cyrus' manor.

Zarik lie on the ground, defeated. He had lost to Doom, and the burn marks on his body were proof of this. He knew this was Team Heart's only chance, and he hoped his sacrifice had not been in vain. He closed his eyes, hoping that Team Heart had accomplished their mission, and taken over G Castle, hoping that Adron would make it out alive from Disaster cave. Zarik just hoped, and he wished for the best. It was all he could do. Zarik's eyes never opened again.

Adron, Ash, and Cyrun had escaped from Disaster cave easily, thanks to Xatu's Teleport. They went to the inn that was next to Disaster cave, the one called, "The Last Stop", and they rested there. Cyrun was cleaned up, seeing as his stay in the cave made him quite dirty. The three Pokemon trainers went to sleep, dreaming about endless possibilities of what the next day would bring them.

The next day, Adron awoke with the sun fully shining. It was rare to see the sun like this, and it only did this once a year. He thought about how in the "old" galaxy, the sun was almost always like this. He got up, got dressed, and went to into the hall. He made sure Ash and Cyrun were fully ready to leave. They all went down stairs, and Ash's mom, M.S Ketchum, made them some breakfast. With one final hug to her son, the three boys left, to find powerful Pokemon trainers, and powerful new Pokemon. The first stop was G Castle, but after that, they would resume to their main mission.

Doom arrived at the castle in morning. He found that it was taken over by Team Heart, and even the chocolate-lover knew that if he tried to capture any of Team Heart, he would get creamed. So, he turned his motorbike around, and headed home. He might not get his reward, but he couldn't take them on now. Not to mention, when they found out about Zarik, they would most likely destroy Doom in their rage. That wasn't worth any of the chocolate that Doom had been promised. With a sigh, he drove home.
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 5 is now up! Team Heart fights back!

"Tell master Cyrus that Team Galactic will arrive at his castle shortly."


isn't that supposed to be Team Heart? always re-read and double-check before posting a chapter :) i've noticed a few other grammar errors, but they're not that big.
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 5 is now up! Team Heart fights back!

Woops, my bad! I'll edit it. What do you think about this chapter? Any thoughts you want to share?
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 5 is now up! Team Heart fights back!

Just take a look for the few spelling errors, other than that, it looks good.
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 5 is now up! Team Heart fights back!

Thank you. I really enjoy making this story.

Edit:
I don't see any spelling errors. Would you mind telling me which ones were misspelled?
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 5 is now up! Team Heart fights back!

misspelled words will be bold :p

And with that, many Araidos came out from the trees, and carried off many members of Team Heart.

He then asked, "Which one of has a Fire type?". Someone in the back raised her hand,

So, he turned him motorbike around, and headed home.


i may have missed some though
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 5 is now up! Team Heart fights back!

Thanks. Will edit!

Edit: Fixed!
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 5 is now up! Team Heart fights back!

You have another reader now. You are going a little bit too fast. You should stop and describe the characters and setting more. I love the way this is going, either way. Keep writing!
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 5 is now up! Team Heart fights back!

ShayminSky said:
You have another reader now. You are going a little bit too fast. You should stop and describe the characters and setting more. I love the way this is going, either way. Keep writing!

Yes, I know, I go a little fast. That's my nature. I have been working on slowing it down, as you might have seen in the later chapters.
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 6 is now up! Adron's Revenge!

Chapter six: Adron's Revenge​
Adron, Ash, and their new-found partner, Cyrun, were walking on the path to G Castle. Adron wasn't sure if Team Heart had been able to pull through, and he worried about what he might see there. The three trainers walked for quite some time, never taking any brakes. A little bit up ahead, Adron saw someone laying on the ground. This would've been fine in most cases, but the more further they walked, the more it looked like someone Adron knew. After walking a bit more, he suddenly recognized who the person was. It was Zarik. He had found his beloved mentor again. He gave a shout,
"Hey, Zarik, wake up!", his voice pulsing with sheer happiness. His face was lived, and he seemed to be extremely happy. But when Zarik gave no reply, Adron seemed to lose some of this happiness. He shouted again. Again, no answer. He was no longer happy, and he looked frightened. Adron ran over to Zarik, his face downcast. When he reached Zarik, he started to shake him, crying,
"Wake up! Zarik, please, wake up!". Adron's mentor never said anything, never opened his eyes. He just lay there, no life left to greet Adron. Tears rushed down Adron's face, and he found himself yelling at Zarik,
"Get up! Why can't you get up?". He lost all his hope. Team Heart must have lost, Zarik proof of what had happened.
"Adron, get up Adron, I hear something!", Ash said. Adron didn't get up, his eyes locked with the sleeping man who was once in charge of Team Heart.
"Adron, please, I know you're angry, and sad, but me and Cyrun are starting to hear things up there!", Ash told Adron. It was no use. Adron would not get up, would not listen to Ash, or even Cyrun when he tried to speak. The two trainers gave up. They instead stood there with Adron, unable to feel the deep sense of sorrow that Adron now felt. However, the two trainers kept their ears pealed, for they did hear something, and each second, they heard it coming closer...

Team Heart woke up from a peaceful slumber in the lustrous beds of G Castle. They had no fears while inside this castle, and they awoke to the smell of breakfast. Xanthius had been cooking for all of Team Heart, and he was apparently a good cook, for everyone enjoyed the meal. After eating, everyone decided to go out and look for Zarik, as they didn't want to leave him behind for too long. They packed their bags once more, and they exited the castle, somewhat sad that they had to leave the magnificent palace. Before they left, they blew up the castle with Typhlosion, who seemed to be the only one happy to do it. They headed back down the trial that they had taken, calling every now and then,
"Zarik! Zarik?".

Doom was driving his motorbike near to the spot where he had killed Zarik. He sped up his motorbike a little bit, anxious to get home, where he planned to indulge himself with some chocolate. He noted that just up ahead, there were some people near Zarik's body. He saw one of the trainers up ahead, and he suddenly remembered the description Saturn had given him. It matched with this boy. This trainer had bushy brown hair, wore the usual jacket that supposedly he always wore, and his face was weathered, like he had seen many battles. Doom thought about the reward he was about to get, and he sped up his bike to maximum speed.

Ash saw the bike ahead, speeding towards the two trainers.
"Adron, get up! Get up, now, before it's too late!", he pleaded. Adron still didn't do anything, his mind still crippled from the loss of Zarik. Ash quickly took his backpack of his back, and he pulled Pikachu from it.
"Alright Pikachu, time to battle!", Ash exclaimed. Pikachu looked tired, and surprised, and he was obviously happily sleeping with the contents of Ash's bag. Cyrun pulled a Poke Ball from his waist, and shouted,
"Go, Xatu!". A purple and green bird came from the Poke Ball, and it stood upright. The two trainers got ready to battle, and to avenge Adron's loss.

Adron was recovering from his shock, but he still couldn't get up. He heard his friends shouting at him, but he lacked the strength to get up. He couldn't draw his face away from Zarik's. It was then, that he noticed a feature around the collar of Zarik's uniform. It was singed. Adron thought of only one person who could of done this. He suddenly felt much anger, and he finally righted himself up. He turned his head from Zarik's corpse, and he saw a bright red bike advancing nearer, and even nearer. He greeted the bike with a dark look on his face, and he gave a dark smile. With surprising force, he pulled a Poke Ball from his belt. It wasn't Pidgeot's Poke Ball, but a different one. And he seemed to know this, but he didn't change to Pidgeot like he normally did, but instead kept the Poke Ball that he already picked. He threw it into the air, and without hearing his own words, shouted,
"Kill him!". Ash and Cyrun turned their backs, surprised at what had come out of Adron's mouth. They saw that Mew had been released from it's Poke Ball, and with Adron's command, it charged a bolt of Psychic Energy to it's max. It would have been a lot of power, enough to kill anything. Then, to his friends shock, Adron commanded Mew to release the bolt of Energy. Mew released the bolt, and sent it flying at the red motorbike. Doom couldn't slow down and swerve out of the way, because the bolt was too fast. So, he had to jump from his bike. He jumped from his bike, but at a bad time. He jumped near a cliff that was at his right, and he didn't see it in time. He rolled off towards the edge of the cliff, unable to stop his own momentum. He rolled down the cliff, but he tried to latch on to the face of the cliff. His hand slipped, however, and he fell, screaming, from the ledge. The last thing Doom ever saw, was a chocolate bar, which was, oddly enough, sitting in the exact same spot where Doom was about to plunge to his death.

Adron laughed, a dark laugh. It was the laughter of someone who had just exacted revenge, the laughter of someone who hid his deep pain behind the body of another man. His dark spell seemed to pass, however, and he suddenly understood the deepness of what he had done. Mew looked guilty, and it seemed to feel the pain of it's owner. Adron burst into tears. What had he just done? He killed another, simply because he had let his emotions control him. How would Zarik feel about what Adron had done, if he were still alive? These thoughts were too much for Adron to bear, and he fainted, feeling as if his heart had been crushed. His friends carried him back to the inn.

Team Heart arrived at the exact same spot where Adron had stood. They saw the burning parts of Doom's motorbike, which were quickly dowsed. They saw that there were marks on the side of the road, and they followed them. They peered over the edge of the cliff. They saw a lifeless body at the bottom, and the body was Doom's. They didn't feel any remorse for this killer, but they had to wonder about how Doom had died. They walked further, and saw Zarik's body lying on the ground. They knew Zarik was dead, as all the sings pointed to it. They carried Zarik near to a great oak tree, and they buried Zarik there. Xanthius took a knife, and carved into the great oak:
"Here lies the spirit of Zarik, pioneer of Team Heart, and the lover of life...".
They walked towards the inn, feeling that Adron was there. They found out that Adron was there, and they were allowed to stay in the inn for the night. They all had a peaceful sleep, including Adron, who no longer thought about any kind of uncomfortable thoughts he had previously had.
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 6 is now up! Adron's Revenge!

Still very nice, but think about plot development as well. Buying time is good, but not for too long. You wouldn't want the story to get repetitive or boring after all ;)

I wouldn't have let Doom die just yet btw. He's the kind of character you could've kept around for alot more chapters.
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 6 is now up! Adron's Revenge!

I know it's taking some time for the story to advance much, but I needed some way to get rid of Doom. This was that way. The next chapter will actually go somewhere. I am just changing the story line around in a few ways ;)
 
RE: Pokemon: Team Galactic's Downfall, chapter 7 is now up!

Chapter seven: The Bloody Dunes
Saturn watched from his chair as the little light that was Doom went out on his tracking signal. He had been watching him all the time, to make sure he was doing his job. He didn't even sleep. This was how obsessed he was to find Adron. As the little light went out, Saturn scowled, and exclaimed,
"Darn it all! Doom was the toughest bounty hunter out there, how could he fail! I was going to play nice with Adron, but he gives me no choice.". Saturn called in one of his grunts,
"Get Krieger!", Saturn demanded.

Saturn waited. And waited. And waited. After what seemed like hours, a cloaked man walked into Saturn's room. He looked inhuman, as you could see nothing of him, so covered was he by the cloak. He pulled the hood of the cloak behind his head, and Saturn saw he wore a mask. The mask completed his look. Somehow he must have been able to see, but the mask concealed any form of eye-holes that would usually be on a mask. You couldn't see his ears, or his nose, or his hair. It was all hidden beneath the mask. After a slight pause, the cloaked man croaked,
"Good evening, master Saturn. I'm Krieger. Grausamer Krieger.". Saturn greeted Grausamer,
"Good evening to you too, Krieger.".
"Does master need any form of service?", asked Grausamer.
"Yes, I do,", replied Saturn,
"I need you to get me a boy named Adron. He is part of Team Heart. I need him alive, Grausamer. Here's his picture.". Grausamer seemed dismayed that he needed to bring back Adron alive, but he didn't confirm this with Saturn. He took the picture out of Saturn's hand.
"It will be done, commander,", replied Grausamer, with a slight hint of bitterness. And with that, the cloaked figure known as Grausamer strutted from the room, ready to capture his prey.

Adron awoke from his sleep. He was in the inn again. He couldn't remember what had happened the previous day, and he went downstairs to find out what had happened. He suddenly remembered. The pain of death came back to him, and he almost tripped down the stairs, if not for his sudden grip on the banister. Zarik had died, and Adron remembered how he had taken a life that day.
"Are you all right, Adron?", came the voice of Ash Ketchum.
"Yeah, I'm all right.", Adron lied.
"Why don't you have some breakfast, you look hungry!", offered Cyrun. Adron happily accepted Cyrun's offer, and he devoured the toasted piece of bred in a matter of seconds. It was very good. Adron saw Team Heart coming from upstairs. They looked well-rested, and they greeted Adron as soon as they saw him. They exchanged information with each other, and Adron learned about everything Team Heart had experienced, and vice-versa. Then, Xanthius looked at Adron, and asked him the following:
"We need to continue the mission, Adron. We will be heading through the Bloody Dunes to get to Abbot Town. The walk will be long, and we will suffer many hardships, most likely. You've already had much pain dealt to you. Do you still wish to come with us?".
"Absolutely!", responded Adron, without any pause,
"You guys aren't going to get rid of me that easily! I'm coming along! There isn't any way I am going to let you kick Team Galactic butt by yourself, I want to get some too! Sure, the road has been hard, and I've suffered many pains, but I intend to endure them all, and as long as I am in the company of such great friends, I can handle anything!". Xanthius didn't seemed surprised at Adron's response, he looked like he expected it,
"Very well, I accept your company, Adron.". Ash and Cyrun looked at each other, and then they both replied,
"Count us in too!". Cyrun then said,
"I can get my Xatu to Teleport us to any location, just as long as someone here has seen it, and can picture it perfectly. We can Teleport to G Castle, and continue from there!". With this, the company of Team Heart packed their bags once more, and they entered outside. Then, with the throwing of a Poke Ball, Cyrun commanded Xatu to take them to G Castle. Xanthius was used as the host for the Teleportation, and while he kept the image of G Castle in his mind's eye, they all Teleported to G Castle, within the blink of an eye. None of them could remember how the Teleportation felt, as it had been so quick. Once they reached the castle, they set off in the direction of the Bloody Dunes, never once turning their backs toward the path they had previously taken.

Grausamer had nothing to go on. He didn't know where Team Heart could have went. He had no idea where they were. But he would soon find out. He summoned a Drowzee from a Dusk Ball, and without any kind of instruction, it began to sniff the ground with it's large nose. The Drowzee wore a wristwatch that allowed Grausamer to explore the thoughts of Drowzee. Whatever Drowzee saw, Grausamer saw. This was where the use of the mask lied. It allowed Grausamer to see whatever Drowzee saw quite clearly in his mind. Without it, he would not be able to find out the location of his victims, as he was doing know. Whenever Drowzee sniffed, it could see everything that happened in the spot that they were in. It followed the path of Team Heart, a bit slow, but after all, he would catch up to them in time. Humans need sleep, Grausamer thought, I , on the other hand, do not. And as he followed Drowzee's trail, he saw each and every action of Team Heart. He lived their lives in slow motion, he found out each and every one of their thoughts, through the use of his Pokemon. And when he finally reached the position of the inn, he fouund out that they had Teleported. Luckily, the Drowzee could find wherever they Teleported, as well, and it would Teleport to that location. By now it was night fall, and Grausamer had already reached the castle. He walked past a sign warning of the many perils of the Bloody Dunes, and then, he entered the sandy expanses of the Bloody Dunes, following the memory of the footsteps of Team Heart.
 
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