Writing Feral Twilight (PG-13/Locked to start better threads)

How is my plot's direction?

  • Reasonable and/or Good Enough!

    Votes: 3 100.0%
  • Needs reworking and/or a clearer explanation...

    Votes: 0 0.0%

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RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Three Posted In-Full, Chapter Four Preview Up!)

These are great stories, given the information that describes each Pokemon. You were very creative with names and lore about each Fakemon, and I think that it is a very good story. I'm suprised that very few people other than Zyflair posted here. :)

Looking forward to your next chapter!
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Three Posted In-Full, Chapter Four Preview Up!)

Some people are probably just a little overwhelmed by that amount of info I posted along with the actual story. In any case, glad to hear you liked it. I'm hoping to keep this going beyond just the first few chapters I had for so long without any serious updates besides those I made for my Fakedex.
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Three Posted In-Full, Chapter Four Preview Up!)

Possession of Metalupus for Jay foreshadowed!

No mechanical error jumped out at me, so I look forward to seeing the full chapter!

... why am I typing in purple?
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Three Posted In-Full, Chapter Four Preview Up!)

Grammar and consistency are my biggest concerns at this point. This next chapter will definitely be up next week, and perhaps another sneak peek will follow it if I feel like it will be a little while before I can get it up.
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Three Posted In-Full, Chapter Four Preview Up!)

If you're concerned about grammar, I did a quick brushing check of conventional mechanics (paragraphs omitted to save space):
Apollo the Incinermyn said:
Even knowing the place’s history, I only concerned myself with the reason why Felicia asked me to come here today. Though she explicitly stated in the email that this was supposed to be [an] orientation, my gut kept telling me she either finally fulfilled my request to find out how to make Spunky evolve or meant to send me on a wild goose chase. More than likely, it’d be the latter…

Pulling into the main parking lot, I found myself in awe as usual at the massive area it took up. The blacktopped surface stretched out to nearly the size of a football field[,] if not more. However, there were only a few cars here near the sidewalk leading up to the main building’s entrance. A few spots over from the handicap spaces, I noticed a familiar yellow Camaro and decided to park right next to it.

Undoing my seatbelt and then opening the door, I cringed as I realized that I’d parked just a little too close to Felicia’s car. Squeezing out, I slowly closed my door and checked the adjacent vehicle. Thankfully[,] I didn’t scratch it, or I’d never hear the end of it.

On the opposite side of the statues, the central building of the university towered over them and everything else on-campus at nearly eight stories high. Its design was apparently octagonal when viewed from the front, though I knew for a fact that the far backside of the complex [was] indented with a large courtyard where students could relax between classes. Glancing up at the three story panes of glass decorating the exterior of the lobby, I felt even more entranced by how the tinted glass had been adored the etching of three distinct lupine Pokémon.

The first on the right-hand side bared a clear resemblance to Spunky, save only for the fact that this beast appeared to be clad in armor and twice Spunky’s size. Its armor consisted of a helmet that shaped to its forehead and upper jaw, a solid shell that protected most of its torso and part of its back, and chain mail that covered its neck, forelegs, and belly. I saw that, like Spunky’s mane, there were locks of hair sticking out from the backside of its helmet[,] but they draped down the sides of this wolf’s neck rather than flow down it like his did. Lastly, I noticed that the beast had a triad of long talons forged into a ring around each of its forepaws that arced forward so the blades were positioned several inches from its toes.

Opposite the armored wolf, on the left-hand side, its counterpart was a six-foot-tall biped with a wolf-like head. [You already used that phrase] Aside from having [a] human-like form, the Pokémon didn’t have any distinguishing characteristics in particular save for the devilish four-eyed mask it wore over its eyes and forehead as well as the bands it had around its neck, wrists, and ankles. However, I did recall hearing rumors that this creature did have insane psychic strength despite its earthly facade.
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Three Posted In-Full, Chapter Four Preview Up!)

Thanks. I guess I missed occasional words here and there that I meant to include, but otherwise I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought in terms of grammar/spelling issues. I was just concerned since a lot of this chapter is getting a major rewrite from the original draft I posted on other sites a few years ago, so I wanted to make sure everything came out cas clear and consistent as possible with the updating I've had to do.
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Three Posted In-Full, Chapter Four Preview Up!)

IV. Cause of Infection

For over eighty years, the International Institute of Pokémon Science on Maritide has been heralded as one of the most prestigious colleges in the world for Pokémon studies. Situated on the island’s northernmost peninsula, the campus consisted of one central building with four annexes branching off in the intermediate directions. However, in comparison to the region’s other schools, the facility was relatively small and hosted no on-campus housing for students, meaning I’d have to find an apartment downtown when my first semester started.

Despite its pleasant façade, though, there remained one factoid about IIPS that boggled the mind of everyone who so much as visited the institute. Some twenty years ago, a catastrophic experiment took place that resulted in massive explosion, which caused major damage to the main building’s biology lab and front lobby. The full details about what exactly happened that night still remained up-for-debate, but the chain-of-events that followed ultimately made Dr. Felicia Marian Barnes the head scientist at IIPS, while getting her mentor Dr. Edwin Nobles fired and his credibility as a Pokémon researcher destroyed.

Even knowing the place’s history, I only concerned myself with the reason why Felicia asked me to come here today. Though she explicitly stated in the email that this was supposed to be an orientation, my gut kept telling me she either finally fulfilled my request to find out how to make Spunky evolve or meant to send me on a wild goose chase. More than likely, it’d be the latter…

Pulling into the main parking lot, I found myself in awe as usual at the massive area it took up. The blacktopped surface stretched out to nearly the size of a football field, if not more. However, there were only a few cars here near the sidewalk leading up to the main building’s entrance. A few spots over from the handicap spaces, I noticed a familiar yellow Camaro and decided to park right next to it.

Undoing my seatbelt and then opening the door, I cringed as I realized that I’d parked just a little too close to Felicia’s car. Squeezing out, I slowly closed my door and checked the adjacent vehicle. Thankfully, I didn’t scratch it, or I’d never hear the end of it.

Starting down the sidewalk, I noted that the campus lawn was just as expansive as the parking area and then some. Occasional trees obscured parts of the landscape, but it otherwise seemed to sprawl right on up to the granite-brick walls of college buildings. On top of that, the grass itself looked amazingly lush and vibrantly green.

Reaching the path leading up to the entrance, I stopped a moment to gaze admiringly at a pair of twin statues honoring the deities of ancient Sinnoh. On the right stood a massive quadruped of dinosaur-like stature with an elongated neck, sturdy legs, a tail that arced downward, a large frill atop its rear, and a huge bulge protruding from its chest. Off to the left, its counterpart was a bipedal monster of similar height with a shorter neck, shield-like forearms, a large orb protruding from each of its shoulders, a relatively stout body, and a vaguely reptilian figure.

Despite constant opposition from members of the community (including Felicia herself), IIPS’s oversight committee decided some ten years ago that it would be appropriate to erect statues of the mythical Pokémon Palkia and Dialga as a show of good faith towards Sinnoh, given Ronac had a shared history with the far-off region. Personally, I thought the twosome looming overhead as I headed for the building was sort of awesome, but I could also understand why people actually hated having them in place of Ronac’s own legendaries such the Golbanian quadruplets.

On the opposite side of the statues, the central building of the university towered over them and everything else on-campus at nearly eight stories high. Its design appeared octagonal when viewed from the front, though I knew that the backside of the complex was indented with a large courtyard where students could relax between classes. Glancing up at the three story panes of glass decorating the exterior of the lobby, I felt even more entranced by how the tinted glass had been adored the etching of three distinct lupine Pokémon.

The first on the right-hand side bared a clear resemblance to Spunky, save only for how this beast appeared to be clad in armor and twice Spunky’s size. Its armor consisted of a helmet that shaped to its forehead and upper jaw, a solid shell that protected most of its torso and part of its back, and chain mail that covered its neck, forelegs, and belly. I saw that, like Spunky’s mane, there were locks of hair sticking out from the backside of its helmet, but they draped down the sides of this wolf’s neck rather than flow down it like his did. Lastly, I noticed that the beast had a triad of long talons forged into a ring around each of its forepaws that arced forward so the blades were positioned several inches from its toes.

Opposite the armored wolf, on the left-hand side, was a six-foot-tall biped with a wolf-like head. Aside from having a human-like form, the Pokémon didn’t have any distinguishing characteristics in particular save for the demonic four-eyed mask it wore over its eyes and forehead as well as the bands it had around its neck, wrists, and ankles. However, I did recall hearing rumors that this creature did have insane psychic strength despite its earthly façade.

Across the windows above the two, there appeared the elegant silhouette of a third lupine being. Unlike the other two, its form was stretched out and obscured by a phantasmal mane of hair. Only its head and forelegs were revealed at the far left side of the etching, and even then, they looked like they were shaded out due to the mid-morning lighting. I made out that this creature had a distinct mask atop its brow with evident markings in it.

Metalupus and Canersia were heralded as Ronac’s “pseudo-legendaries,” given that they ultimately evolved from the same infant and were referenced in several legends throughout the region. It was common knowledge that Optipug always evolved into Lupudle thanks to tender-loving care from either their packs or trainers, and that they’d evolve into Caniclops if they grew to despise others. Coincidentally, nobody knew how Lupudle evolved into Metalupus or how Caniclops evolved into Canersia. For that reason, I asked Felicia if she could do some research into the matter if she had the time.

The identity of the third wolf, though, remained a total mystery. Myths from the Dallinos culture often portrayed him as either a king or chieftain of all the wolf clans in the region, and as the grave opponent of another Pokémon who betrayed him in his youth. Also, those same legends spoke of his two siblings (a snake and an arachnid) and how all three reigned over a Dreamtime world known as Beyi Quofyi. Of course, I didn’t put much stake into stuff like that myself.

I stopped at the front door and took a peek through the tinted glass to see if anyone was inside the lobby. Apparently, someone had been there earlier since I spotted a briefcase on one of the tables off to the side of the commons, but otherwise I couldn’t see anybody there right now. Trying the door, I realized that it had been left unlocked after all, so I went in.

A small antechamber separated entry doors from the actual lobby with three walls of clear glass. After I exited it, I entered a large reception area that formed a virtual trapezoid with how it started out wide near the entrance and then the flanking tan walls slanted inward towards each other until they met the one on the other side of the room. From what I could see, most of the floor was covered in a brownish office carpet except for three paths of white ceramic tile forked down middle and sides of the lobby. Four marble pillars formed a virtual square in the center of the foyer, due to how they were positioned in the left and right central parts of the room. Finally, I noticed that several tables, desks, and couches had been positioned neatly along the outside and middle areas of the commons.

Clearly something happened since the school’s offices were all opened up with their lights on, and the reception counter on the far side of the room. I wasn’t exactly in the mood to start poking my nose around, so I immediately took a seat on a nearby couch. Realizing a television had been mounted on a closest pillar to the entryway, I turned it on and watched a local news channel while I waited for someone to show up.

“To say that you people are idiots is an understatement!” Dr. Barnes basically screamed as she stomped out of far corridor and towards her office. Glancing at her, I immediately shut the television off so she didn’t think I’d been here long. Today she wore a long black dress with an ornate floral pattern that spiraled counterclockwise around her figure, high-heel shoes, and a pair of narrow-framed glasses.

“Felicia, please be reasonable!” a six-foot-tall African man with a thick accent pleaded, breaking away from a group of security officers to catch up to her. His attire consisted of a white lab coat, a gray shirt underneath it, sleek black pants, and a pair of blue suede shoes. For a scientist, though, he seemed rather muscular as opposed to most of the nerdy people I’d met the few other times I’d visited here.

“No, Ali! Due to the incompetence of people YOU hired, one of the deadliest Pokémon alive is in the possession of three bumbling bozos who wandered in off the streets during the wee hours of the morning.”

“But it was only a parasite. It couldn’t possibly be that dangerous,” the poor guy muttered.

“Doxisite can suck a Pokémon’s body dry in mere seconds. Do you have any idea what he’d do to a human? The monster’s got an insatiable appetite, and won’t stop feasting for weeks at a time. That’s why I had him confined to a Stasis Ball in the first place.”

“Felicia!” I called from across the room. The two scientists looked at me, but the man called Ali glanced away immediately.

“Jay, you’re here already? Good. At least someone here will be able to take my mind off all the crap I’ve had to put up with this morning,” Felicia commented with a smirk as she turned back to Ali, “You, stay here. And the rest of you, find out who the hell stole my Pokémon!”

“But, Felicia…” one of the security officers muttered.

“You’ve all got computers, and you’re all skilled hackers! That’s why you were hired in the first place! Get to work!”

“I have to apologize for that,” she then whispered as she ushered me to her office, “The sh*t really hit the fan when I came into work today. Since then, it’s just been one thing right after another going wrong.” When we got to it, we both went inside.

Felicia’s office was a spacious room with ornately-painted walls, bearing the fresco-like design of four snakes wrapping around each other until their heads met on the opposite side of the room; each serpent had a different symbol on his face (one with a V-shaped marking that extended from his forehead to his nose, another with a plus-sign between his eyes, the third with an upright pentagram on his snout, and the last with an X-shaped marking under his jaw). I saw that Felicia had her doctorate mounted dead-center on the far wall between the snakes’ heads. Likewise, she had a pair of replica samurai swords crisscrossing underneath the certificate. Several pictures and other ornaments hung on the other walls, including a flat-screen TV on the left-hand one. In the middle of the office a large sofa and coffee table were set out for visitors. Behind those, Felicia had a large desk with a Sony VIAO laptop and several portfolios atop it as well as a few file cabinets and office chairs at its sides.

As the woman headed across the room, she said, “So, I presume you know why I asked you to come here today, right?”

I took a seat in one of the chairs near her desk and replied, “You said it was for a private orientation, but I know you better than that.”

“Hmm…” she hummed before sitting down and thumbing through one of the folders on her workstation, “Actually I was going to give you a tour, but only after you do a little favor for me.”

“As usual…” She always had something she wanted me to do before anything else. Last time, she sent me into the Forest Ruins near Marble Town to try and find an ancient Dallinos tribal relic that ultimately didn’t exist. I couldn’t imagine what sort of thing she needed me for now.

“You’re familiar with the incident that occurred here over twenty years ago, correct?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Good,” she grinned, taking a piece of paper out of the file she’d just skimmed through. Then she set it in front of me and I read through it for a long moment.

“A confidentiality agreement?” I asked as she handed me a pen.

“What I’m about to tell deserves the utmost secrecy, and if you so much as utter a word of it to anyone outside of this school, you’ll have a lawsuit on your hands the likes of which you’d never imagine.” Shrugging, I took her pen and signed the bottom line of the contract in my best cursive.

“Thank you,” she commented, taking the sheet of paper and pen back. Then she reclined back in her chair and took a short glance back at her doctorate.

“Twenty-five years ago, your mother and I were graduate students here at IIPS. While we each studied different fields, her focus being general Pokémon studies and mine being Pokémon physiology, the two of us had quite a bond. Roommates, colleagues, friends… You know this much already, right?” Felicia spoke longingly. I nodded in response, and she looked back at me.

“Well, about a year later, Roselyn finished her Masters’ degree and went on to pursue a career as a regional contest judge. No offense, but that’s perhaps the biggest mistake of her life, regardless of how famous she became,” she continued, “I, on the other hand, continued forward with my studies to earn my Ph. D. As you can plainly see, my life turned all the better for it.”

“So what? You made me come here just to talk smack about my mom?”

“No. I’m just voicing my open opinion to you while I’ve got your ear,” the woman responded while rolling her eyes, “Let me continue…”

“The fall semester after your mother left was quite stressful for me. While I had all of these astonishing theories on how Pokémon gene frequencies could be converted through chemical-based reassignment, I possessed absolutely no hard data to back them up and designing an experiment that used living creatures wasn’t only unethical, but downright illegal in this region even at the time. So, it came down to two choices…either quit while I was ahead and find another field of study or improvise. As you may guess, I chose the latter.”

“Of course,” I said with a sarcastic grin. She gave me a stern look for a moment, and my smile immediately turned into a blank expression again.

“After several months of trail-and-error experimentation on microorganisms such as bacteria and protists, I finally decided to create a synthetic membrane I could seed with artificial compounds that mimicked DNA. At first it seemed fruitless, but eventually I got something to actually develop into a living specimen.”

“Interesting, but that sounds a bit farfetched to me.”

“Understandable, but everything I’ve just mentioned is one-hundred percent true. It was quite a revolutionary breakthrough since, until that point, no one else had been able to thoroughly prove Darwin’s theory of evolution correct in the sense that all modern organisms developed from ancestral species.”

“Come again? I thought you said you just created a new life form. What does that have anything to do with Darwinian Evolution?”

She sighed and continued, “The organism in question rapidly developed from a small cluster of microorganisms into a unified mega-colony with sub-human intelligence. Because its genetic code changed with every new generation of cells born, my project proved one and for all that organisms do and can evolve from previous forms over vast amounts of time, not just as part of their natural life-cycles such as the case with most Pokémon.”

“Now that’s where I’m a bit confused. I’m aware that the current theories about the origins of modern day Pokémon species state that they developed from ancestral species, hence why Darwin’s theory is important to you as a Pokémon Scientist. But, the idea is that the process took place over millions if not billions of years. What type of experiment could you have run in a relatively short amount of time that could have supported those ideas beyond a shadow of a doubt?”

Doxi Riboneria is what it eventually became known as. But the common name I assigned her was Doxinox. As I just said, this creature’s gene frequency changed rapidly, meaning that it evolved into more advanced forms in a short amount of time as well. Seven months, to be specific.”

“So, if you created such a miraculous organism, where is it now?”

She shuffled through some of her folders and then pulled out a thick one with photos sticking out of its side. From what I could tell, some of them were pictures of red eyeballs with slits for irises, while others had blobby masses with lime-green and black streaks across their surfaces.

“To be honest, I haven’t a clue. I lost it the original prototype after the catastrophe twenty-two years ago, but several progeny were somehow birthed from the event.”

Opening the file, she pulled out two of the photographs. The first had the image of a distinctly reptilian monster whose form consisted almost strictly of a head with oversized jaws, a large conical tail, and two powerful arms protruding from its cheeks. Similarly, the other one showed three Pokémon that looked like they’d split off from its tail, its scalp, and its face through mitosis.

Pointing at the center of the second picture, she commented, “This was the Pokémon that got stolen this morning.”

Looking more closely at the photo, I saw that the creature had a thick cone-shaped body with alternating lime-and-black rings around his form. His gaping maw, though, drew my attention in particular since a set of dagger-like teeth comprised the entirety of his devilish smile. Aside from staring dead-on in the direction of the camera with a bloodthirsty gaze, the Pokémon appeared to have a large serrated fins coursing down his backside.

“Doxisite is a very dangerous predator, especially in comparison to his siblings and mother. Doxibond and Doxifice only react in self-defense, while Doxisite attacks any other organism he can clamp his maw around. From there, he’ll inject his prey with narrow tubes and drain out a victim’s body fluids straight from inside its heart.”

“Geez, I see why you’re so angry at your staff then.”

“You don’t know the half of it. Ali was assigned to keep the Doxi Siblings under wraps, and nobody should have known about their existence besides him, myself, and a select few professors.”

“How do you know the thieves weren’t just after exotic Pokémon?”

“I kept their specially-designed Poké Balls in a safe hidden inside the courtyard’s central statue. It requires a twenty-digit pass code to access the compartment as well as a thumbprint scan to unlock the safe itself. Just Ali and I have our prints registered. So when I discovered Doxisite’s ball missing, it could only have been because Ali accessed it.”

“Back up a second. Where do the three ‘bumbling bozos’ you mentioned out in the lobby come in, then?”

“The parking lot’s security cameras showed three men loitering on the premises around 3:00AM. They came to the front doors several times before someone eventually let them in. Who did, though, is what I’m trying to find out.”

“Okay, so you think Ali…”

“I know he did!” she barked, pounding her fist on the table.

“Am I right to assume he’s your vice-dean or something?”

She nodded and then replied, “Doctor Jubara has been working here for several years now and was a trusted colleague until several months ago when he signed on with the Zenith Corporation for some special project they needed our Spectral Studies wing for. Since then, his demeanor’s apparently become a lot shiftier.”

“Okay, so where does that put me?”

“Doctor Jubara has spent some time in the South Maritide sewers investigating workers’ reports of an unidentified Pokémon that matches the description of Doxinox. To this point, he never encountered it, but he did acquire some strong evidence that she is there.” After that, she pulled open a drawer, took out several items, and placed them in front of me. One appeared to be a map of some sort with markings all over it, several Xs crossing out certain areas and a few other parts circled, while the other two were Poké Balls with lime-green and black hemispheres rather than the normal red and white coloring.

“You may want to stand back for a moment, and move the seats for me please,” she then ordered. I did what she asked and stood over by her coffee table.

Pressing the switch on one of the balls, she suddenly released a blobby mass upon the floor. The oozing Pokémon looked and smelled distinctly familiar, but the wavering lime-green and black streaks across its body sort of made me wonder if it could really be what I thought it was.

“Grimer…” it suddenly moaned. Weakly, the sludge monster tried to reach out and grab my pants’ leg but couldn’t muster up the strength to stretch more than a couple inches from where it sat.

“Doxinox instinctively assimilates any pseudo-organic mass to stimulate her own growth as well as nourish her pre-existing cells. For some reason, though, she has a preference for decomposing matter or anything that gives off the appearance of it.”

“You mean this thing’s being turned into a ‘Doxinox?’”

“Actually its cells are becoming part of the mega-colony. It’s not going to transform into Doxinox’s clone.” She then recalled the creature into its ball and put it away inside her desk.

“So what’s with the other stuff then?”

She pointed at the map and said, “These are schematics of the city’s southern sewer system. Like I just said, Ali investigated several locations where city employees claimed to have spotted Doxinox. Thus far, he’s found three spots with anomalous ooze trails and Pokémon infected like that Grimer is.”

“So what do you want me to do, then?”

“Track down and recapture Doxinox for me. Ali clearly can’t be trusted with this task anymore, especially after this morning’s incident.”

“That all?” I asked, knowing that her requests often turned into full-blown missions.

“Ali will be accompanying you, so make sure you keep an eye on him.”

“Thought so…”

“So are you onboard or not?”

“Of course, but I can’t guarantee I’ll find anything.”

Felicia stood up with a widening grin and held her hand out to shake on the deal. I accepted the gesture and shook accordingly. Afterwards, she gave me the map and the second Poké Ball she’d taken out.

“That Poké Ball is actually a refurbished version of the one Doxinox was originally kept in. Its design causes Pokémon housed within it to be put into a form of suspended animation, rather than how standard ones that just serve as capsulated storage units.”

“Wait, is this even legal to use then? I don’t want to get accused of Pokémon abuse just for having this thing.”

“This is why I had you sign that confidentiality agreement. Some of the technology we utilize is legal but controversial.”

I rolled my eyes. Leave it to IIPS to be ahead of the game but also borderline when it came to unethical experimentation. On that note, she motioned towards the door and I followed her out of the room.

Dr. Jubara came running at us from the reception desks across the lobby. He held a paper in his right hand that he waved about frantically. When he finally stopped before Felicia and me, I noticed his thick brown locks dripped with sweat and his tawny eyes had tears running down from them.

“Doctor Barnes! We found out who is behind this and it’s worse than any of us could possibly imagine!”

“Spit it out, then!” Felicia demanded, snatching the sheet from him.

“His name is Miror B. He’s wanted in several regions for Pokémon theft and selling said Pokémon on the black market, not to mention he renowned for being a former boss of the Orre crime syndicate known as Cipher.”

Glancing at the print-off, I immediately recognized the man’s afro and said, “Hey, I just battled that guy barely an hour ago.”

“Damn it, Jay! Didn’t he use Doxisite against you? Why didn’t you mention something after I just showed you what the Pokémon looked like?”

“The Pokémon he used against me was just a Destail, which isn’t exactly a threat to my Skunter. But apparently, my buddy Rick almost lost his Girafarig to some other monster that this Miror guy had fight against it.”

“This is bad. Did you find out where he was heading after you battled him?”

“No, the guy and his cronies just took off for God knows where.”

“We’ll have to call the authorities now, Felicia. This is way out of our hands,” Ali said, pivoted back towards the reception desks.

“No way in hell!” Felicia shouted at him, “Keeping an incident under wraps is the only way to prevent a media wildfire. This school has too much at stake to have its reputation smeared by scandal.”

“Then what do you suggest we do?” he shrewdly asked.

She huffed a moment and then calmly stated, “For the time being, you will escort Jay Christie to the sites you discovered Doxinox likely rested at for long periods of time. At this moment, that’s my top priority because, without the original experiment, my next project cannot advance.”

“Wait… What next project?” I asked.

“You didn’t explain that to him, Felicia?” Ali responded, clearly confused.

Felicia rubbed her chin and then stated, “I was going to wait until you came back, but there’s another thing I need you for today, Jay.”

“And that’s?”

“Ah, I will tell you the full details on our way downtown. In the meantime, I’d suggest we make haste,” Ali interrupted.

“Fine, but I want straight answers.”

After that, Felicia and I nodded to one another. Ali and I then headed for the entrance, leaving the building and going straight to my truck. Pulling out of the parking lot, I felt a sense of something amiss, but whatever it was would have to wait until we got back.

<End Chapter Four>
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Four posted in-full)

Sorry, but I don't have much time as of late, so if I sound cranky in any way, please understand none of it is caused by you. In any case, the dialogue actually felt too rushed. Granted, Felicia is quite in a disaster herself and does not have the luxury for idle chit-chat, but the explanation seriously did not provide spare details for those looking to get a firmer grip on this complex plot. That's pretty much the big thing I had to pick on.

Oh, and you might want to revise this:

"The sh*t really hit the fan this morning, and to put up with the sheer dumb*ss-ery of people I let this institute vice-dean hire totally undermines the principles on which I try to instill in every student I teach."

Happy Writing,

~Zyflair
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Four posted in-full)

I thought it may have been rushed. I'll see what I can do about creating a somewhat better conversation, but I'm not completely sure how to refine it without doing another overhaul.
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Four posted in-full)

One of the biggest culprits:
“That saves me a lot of explaining then. Basically put, those rumors are true and I’m one hundred percent responsible for the disaster happening. However, that explosion wasn’t really an explosion at all. In fact, it actually turned out to be nothing less than the ghastly howl of a previously unknown Pokémon.”
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Four posted in-full)

So you're saying I should elaborate more on the events from twenty-two years ago? Sorry, you actually have to explain the issue better, Zy, otherwise I'm drawing a blank as to how to fix it.
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Four posted in-full)

Ah, my apologizes. Felicia refers to the incident in a hurry. She quickly corrects/affirms everything about the disaster in only 55 words. Normally, when you're actually attributing blame to yourself, it would have been less direct and straightforward, and though Felicia is not your normal person, even I doubt she can clearly explain everything like that to Jay with such brevity).
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Four posted in-full)

That clarifies things a lot. Now I have a stronger idea of how to rectify that issue. I'm not trying to hit you up for more input, but if I don't get specific examples and explanations, I usually won't pick up on the problem areas.
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Four posted in-full)

Yeah, I'm not operating at full capacity, so pardon the gruff responses from me. x3
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Four posted in-full)

It's fine. Don't feel obliged to get to this on my account. I'm still working on other projects too, so it's not like I'm in a major hurry with this, though I am trying to make some serious headway.
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Four posted in-full)

Minor update: I've expanded the full Pokedex list in the OP after DNA mentioned how it was a little confusing as to what all the other Pokemon without Fakedex entries were. I'm also posting the full list here too, for an actual "dex" reference.

Ronac’s Pokémon List

  • 1. Weasinge
    2. Charmink
    3. Incinermyn
    4. Porpike
    5. Bramback
    6. Nettlepine
    7. Otterawl
    8. Otterate
    9. Ottemonk
    10. Taillow
    11. Swellow
    12. Oposease
    13. Oposombie
    14. Oposeteer
    15. Shinx
    16. Luxio
    17. Luxray
    18. Skunette
    19. Skunanne
    20. Skunter
    21. Skuntress
    22. Weedle
    23. Kakuna
    24. Beedrill
    25. Caterpie
    26. Metapod
    27. Butterfree
    28. Growlithe
    29. Arcanine
    30. Mareep
    31. Flaaffy
    32. Ampharos
    33. Miltank
    34. Tauros
    35. Temptail
    36. Destail
    37. Zubat
    38. Golbat
    39. Crobat
    40. Gyrotron
    41. Orbitron
    42. Galactron
    43. Zomborg
    44. Zombrong
    45. Electrike
    46. Manectric
    47. Jolterrean
    48. Ponyta
    49. Rapidash
    50. Unithur
    51. Kangaskhan
    52. Pachirisu
    53. Pachitears
    54. Domydra
    55. Domedria
    56. Domupia
    57. Domilia
    58. Domoxia
    59. Domandaria
    60. Budew
    61. Roselia
    62. Roserade
    63. Vulpix
    64. Ninetales
    65. Eevee
    66. Vaporeon
    67. Jolteon
    68. Flareon
    69. Espeon
    70. Umbreon
    71. Leafeon (Evolves anywhere in the Dallinos Woods)
    72. Glaceon (Evolves anywhere on Mount Corona)
    73. Armeon
    74. Obseon
    75. Noxeon
    76. Delteon
    77. Zeneon
    78. Misdreavus
    79. Mismagius
    80. Poochyena
    81. Mightyena
    82. Girafarig
    83. Gorgeeze
    84. Freezhon
    85. Cryse
    86. Geodude
    87. Graveler
    88. Golem
    89. Machop
    90. Machoke
    91. Machamp
    92. Swablu
    93. Altaria
    94. Snover
    95. Abomasnow
    96. Delibird
    97. Snorunt
    98. Glalie
    99. Froslass
    100. Smoochum
    101. Jynx
    102. Xylioxia
    103. Bombug
    104. Coreetle
    105. Scarosion
    106. Skarmory
    107. Skarborg
    108. Trapinch
    109. Vibrava
    110. Flygon
    111. Skorupi
    112. Drapion
    113. Sandshrew
    114. Sandslash
    115. Sandslain
    116. Carastone
    117. Koffing
    118. Weezing
    119. Zarog
    120. Grimer
    121. Muk
    122. Gilgara
    123. Giltana
    124. Kabuto
    125. Kabutops
    126. Lileep
    127. Craydily
    128. Cranidos
    129. Rampardos
    130. Vilarus
    131. Vilarion
    132. Vilarex
    133. Relicanth
    134. Lapras
    135. Dolpaw
    136. Dolook
    137. Dolsword
    138. Dolking
    139. Dolstess
    140. Dolqueen
    141. Golbania
    142. Tyrogue
    143. Hitmonlee
    144. Hitmonchan
    145. Hitmontop
    146. Latias (Appears during battle against Feraburg Island Gym’s leader, Fiona, but will only receive from her grandmother after beating the Elite Four and Champion Meg)
    147. Latios (Same as Latias)
    148. Horsea
    149. Seadra
    150. Kingdra
    151. Kecleon
    152. Draconai
    153. Corsola
    154. Mantyke
    155. Mantine
    156. Fwan
    157. Barboach
    158. Whiscash
    159. Remoraid
    160. Octillery
    161. Skoyxil
    162. Cubone
    163. Marowak
    164. Houndour
    165. Houndoom
    166. Sableye
    167. Mawile
    168. Optipug
    169. Lupudle
    170. Metalupus
    171. Caniclops
    172. Canersia
    173. Doxibond
    174. Doxisite
    175. Doxifice
    176. Doxinox
    177. Cyobrus
    178. Arachana
    179. Vaspudem
    180. Otulp
    181. Beyi-geyi
    182. Leyi-geyi
    183. Zombroken
    184. Impereon
    185. Ursalarius
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Four posted in-full)

Somewhat of a major update... I've made a huge revision to Chapter Four's second half, since it seemed to leave out a lot of important plot details and explanations like Zy pointed out. Also I've got a somewhat better preview of Chapter Five, which should be up in full sometime early next week if not this weekend.

V-The Mega-Colony

Darkrai stopped his pursuit midair as he heard the ungodly scream of his target narrowly escaped the Dark Pulse he’d just used against her. As the amorphous being slipped away downstream through the sewer’s main channel, the phantom hovered over to a nearby walkway to examine whatever damage he took due to the monster’s counterstrike. Glancing under his left arm, he saw that a pulsating green-and-black blob attached itself to the side of his chest and was slowly absorbing into his skin. He didn’t feel any pain, but he knew the parasites contained in this thing would kill him if he didn’t leave the physical domain soon.

At this moment, though, a greater concern plagued his mind. Most of his attacks didn’t affect that abomination whatsoever. Dark Void put her under for but a moment, but when he tried to use Nightmare and Dream Eater, he found that the monster’s cells worked in unison to disperse the moves’ effects and essentially nullify them altogether. Furthermore, when he used Dark Pulse before she reawakened, the Pokémon just sloshed around its impact zone and then reformed accordingly. Why hadn’t his master warned him the entity was capable of such feats?

“Nox…” he heard his enemy belch loudly in the distance. Clearly it had an insatiable appetite, considering that he found the creature digesting fecal matter before he attacked it. As disgusting as it seemed, it somehow made sense that the Pokémon would have adapted to being a traditional bottom-feeder like Grimer or Muk.

Suddenly a circle of light shone down from above. Staring upward, Darkrai noticed a human’s shadow peeking through the manhole overhead. Apparently his mission would have to wait, on account of how another one of those workers was coming here to investigate. Even so, he could still follow after his quarry in the secrecy of shadows. Slowly he phased onto the wall’s side and took off in a phantasmal rush.
______________________________________________________________________________

“So, Felicia wants Doxinox back because she believes her project caused some ethereal Pokémon to appear and attack it?” I asked as I slowly climbed down into the moderate darkness of the Maritide Sewers.

Several feet below me and off to the side of the ladder, Ali stood on the concrete walkway alongside the canal sewage water flowed through. With flashlight in mouth, he looked stared at the sewer schematics Felicia gave me before we left and then back up at me. The beam blinded me until he took the device out of his mouth and nodded.

“It’s just a thought. But Felicia firmly believes that the finalization of Doxi Riboneria as an experiment somehow caused one of two mythological Pokémon to appear. If it wasn’t Golbania, she’s near certain it had to be the legendary Pokémon depicted in the etching over the university’s main entrance.”

“Not to question Felicia’s sanity, but even I know that some of the tribal legends aren’t true. While it’s been long proven that the Golbanian quadruplets exist, that phantom wolf has never been seen except for some mural-like depictions in occasional ruins throughout the region’s mainland.”

“If you say so. But I still like to believe that some myths may be true, even though I can’t officially state that publicly without persecution and ridicule.”

“Of course. It’s not like I’m going to say anything about it, especially since I’m legally bound not to now,” I replied as I dropped to the path. I immediately took off the Snakelight from my glove box that I had around my neck, wrapped it somewhat around my right forearm, and turned it on.

Looking around, I noticed that the specific corridor we were in was particularly wide and long even for a sewer. If I didn’t know any better, it probably stretched the length of the island itself. I also saw that there were numerous other tunnels with just as many if not more pipes heading down them in virtual entanglements of metal. But, there didn’t look to be any bridges across to the pathways along their channels diverging from this main one. As if that weren’t bad enough, though, it smelled worse than that Grimer from the lab down here.

“Do you mind me sending out some of my own Pokémon before we actually start our search?” Ali then asked.

“Sure, no problem,” I replied, standing off to the side for a moment.

“Zombroken, Giltana! I need your assistance,” he declared as he threw two Poké Balls in the northward direction. The first orb landed on the concrete pathway we stood on, while the other hovered over the sewage water. They opened simultaneously and flew back into their owner’s hands.

In a blackened haze, the thirteen-foot-tall form of a familiar mechanical horse appeared on the walkway. Unlike Chase’s Zomborg from earlier, this creature had a bulkier body that seemed vaguely oval-shaped. Its neck seemed to be longer and curved more sharply than the way its younger form’s did, and the horns on its head looked larger and curled inward acutely now. There were hemispherical covers atop each of his legs with a set of decorative blades welded onto their front and rear spots, which in turn arced back towards each other for a menacing appearance. Finally, metallic wheels with spikes sticking out of their rims replaced the lower parts of the machine’s hind legs.
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Five Posted In-Full: Jan. 23, 2012!)

V. The Mega-Colony

Darkrai stopped his pursuit midair as he heard the ungodly scream of his target, who narrowly escaped the Dark Pulse he'd just use against her. As the amorphous being slipped downstream through the sewer’s main channel, the phantom hovered over to a nearby walkway examining whatever damage he took due to the monster’s counterstrike. Glancing under his left arm, he saw that a pulsating green and black blob attached itself to the side of his chest and was slowly absorbing into his skin. He didn’t feel any pain, but he knew the parasites contained in this thing would kill him if he didn’t leave the physical domain soon.

At this moment, though, a greater concern plagued his mind. Most of his attacks didn’t affect that abomination whatsoever. Dark Void put her under for a moment, but when he tried to use Nightmare and Dream Eater, the monster immediately caused them to focus on only a few of its cells and essentially nullified the moves’ effects. Furthermore, when he used Dark Pulse before she reawakened, the Pokémon just sloshed around its impact zone and then reformed accordingly. Why hadn’t his master warned him the entity was capable of such feats?

“Nox…” he heard his enemy belch loudly in the distance. Clearly it had an insatiable appetite, considering that he found the creature digesting fecal matter before he attacked it. As disgusting as it seemed, it somehow made sense that the Pokémon would have adapted to being a traditional bottom-feeder like Grimer or Muk.

Suddenly, a circle of light shone down from above. Staring upward, Darkrai noticed a human’s shadow peeking through the manhole overhead. Apparently, his mission would have to wait, on account of how another one of those workers was coming here to investigate. Even so, he could still follow after his quarry in the secrecy of shadows. Slowly he phased onto the wall’s side and took off in a phantasmal rush.
______________________________________________________________________________

“So, Felicia wants Doxinox back because she believes her project caused some ethereal Pokémon to appear and attack it?” I asked as I slowly climbed down into the moderate darkness of the Maritide Sewers.

Several feet below me and off to the side of the ladder, Ali stood on the concrete walkway alongside the canal sewage water flowed through. With flashlight in mouth, he looked stared at the sewer schematics Felicia gave me before we left and then back up at me. The beam blinded me until he took the device out of his mouth and nodded.

“It’s just a thought. But Felicia firmly believes that the finalization of Doxi Riboneria as an experiment somehow caused one of two mythological Pokémon to appear. If it wasn’t Golbania, she’s near certain it had to be the legendary Pokémon depicted in the etching over the university’s main entrance.”

“Not to question Felicia’s sanity, but even I know that some of the tribal legends aren’t true. While it’s been long proven that the Golbanian quadruplets exist, that phantom wolf has never been seen except for some mural-like depictions in occasional ruins throughout the region’s mainland.”

“If you say so. But I still like to believe that some myths may be true, even though I can’t officially state that publicly without persecution and ridicule.”

“Of course. It’s not like I’m going to say anything about it, especially since I’m legally bound not to now,” I replied as I dropped to the path. I immediately took off the Snakelight from my glove box that I had around my neck, wrapped it somewhat around my right forearm, and turned it on.

Looking around, I noticed that the specific corridor we were in was particularly wide and long even for a sewer. If I didn’t know any better, it probably stretched the length of the island itself. I also saw that there were numerous other tunnels with just as many if not more pipes heading down them in virtual entanglements of metal. But, there didn’t look to be any bridges across to the pathways along their channels diverging from this main one. As if that weren’t bad enough, though, it smelled worse than that Grimer from the lab down here.

“Do you mind me sending out some of my own Pokémon before we actually start our search?” Ali then asked.

“Sure, no problem,” I replied, standing off to the side for a moment.

“Zombroken, Giltana! I need your assistance,” he declared as he threw two Poké Balls in the northward direction. The first orb landed on the concrete pathway we stood on, while the other hovered over the sewage water. They opened simultaneously and flew back into their owner’s hands.

In a blackened haze, the thirteen-foot-tall form of a familiar mechanical horse appeared on the walkway. Unlike Chase’s Zomborg from earlier, this creature had a bulkier body that seemed vaguely oval-shaped. Its neck seemed to be longer and curved more sharply than the way its younger form’s did, and the horns on its head looked larger and curled inward acutely now. There were hemispherical covers atop each of his legs with a set of decorative blades welded onto their front and rear spots, which in turn arced back towards each other for a menacing appearance. Finally, metallic wheels with spikes sticking out of their rims replaced the lower parts of the machine’s hind legs.

“Zom… Broken…” he slowly wheezed, the cover over his mouth barely opening but an apparently thick smog being expelled from his smokestack-like neck.

Alongside the creature, a second monster emerged from the polluted waterway with a ferocious cry. Overall the scaly purple-and-green Pokémon looked vaguely fishlike and towered over both Ali and I at a height of sixteen-and-a-half feet. She had a large maw that extended away from the rest of her face, a pair of piercing amber eyes, and violet gills that seemed fanned outward as she breathed. A pair of long black ears curled backwards atop her head, forming apparent blades with their blood-red edges. Her torso was muscular along with her thick arms that had jagged purple and lime-green markings decorating them up until her hands, while her abdomen and legs seemed relatively stocky. There appeared to be a long row of wavering dorsal fins coursing her backside. Lastly, I noted that her tail fin possessed twin blades similar to her ears, the top one having its red edge facing forward and the lower one with its edge reversed.

“Tana!” she bellowed, ferociously showing off her serrated teeth.

“Impressive,” I complimented Ali, “Zombroken especially, considering how few trainers are lucky enough to have their Zombrong evolve into it. I’m curious as to how you got one to.”

“Zombroken was actually a gift when I signed up to assist with the Zenith Corporation’s latest endeavor. He’s supposedly an experimental Pokémon.”

“I have a question for you, Doctor Jubara. Out of curiosity, what’s your field of expertise?”

“As awkward as it may sound, I am a leading authority on Spectral Studies in the Ronac Region as well as a biochemist. My primary studies were always focused the enigmas of Ghost-type Pokémon, which according to all known natural laws should not exist whatsoever. I took up biochemistry as a sort of standby in case that didn’t work out.”

“All right. That’s all I wanted to know for the moment.”

Ali started to say something in response to that, but then we heard a ghastly shriek come further down the passageway followed immediately by the sound of something gurgling. Pivoting around, I thought I caught the crude shadow of a humanoid figure dart away through a narrow tunnel branching off to the right not even fifty yards from where we stood.

“That couldn’t have been Doxinox, do you think?” I then asked Ali.

“No. I’d recognize that silhouette anywhere…” he replied solemnly, “That shadow belonged to a Sinnoh-native Pokémon known as Darkrai.”

“Darkrai?”

“They’re notorious for causing horrific nightmares to anyone or anything that falls asleep near them.”

“But what would one be doing in a place like this?”

“We have to go investigate!” he commented, turning back to his Zombroken, “Can you follow us?” The mechanical horse neighed, breathing out some more smoke.

“Giltana, go on ahead and try to pursue that Darkrai!” Grumbling for a second, the mutant fish-dragon agreed and then started to take off.

Finally Ali turned back to me and stated, “I have to wait for Zombroken to get up to full-steam before he’ll be of any use against Doxinox or Darkrai. Make sure nothing happens to Giltana in the meantime, alright?” I nodded and then started off for the corridor where I saw the specter head down.

It took me a few minutes to reach the intersection. Giltana was already far ahead of me. Before I went dashed the corridor as well, I noticed an odd trail of ooze that had been split by her wake. The lime-green and black streaks were nauseating enough; however, the stench given off by the half-digested feces floating near it made the sight ten times worse. Far be it for me to criticize a Pokémon’s meal preference, but this was absolutely disgusting!

“Orion, get your a*s out here!” I demanded, releasing my Skunter from his Poké Ball. As he appeared, he immediately gagged.

“Damn! Why are we down here?” he shouted.

“Follow that Giltana! We’re on the hunt for a Darkrai,” I told him. The skunk looked and sneered.

“Eh, fair enough,” he shrugged and then dashed off down the tunnel. I followed behind him at a decent pace.

“Dark Void!” we suddenly heard a malevolent voice call just meters away.

A blackened halo appeared and swallowed Giltana whole. Orion and I stopped, watching the anomaly fade away, leaving the mutant Pokemon to fall asleep in the toxic water. Above her, the full-formed phantasm floated slowly backwards, staring down his target with a menacing blue eye.

“Be gone, human!” Darkrai declared in a deep raspy voice, holding out his scrawny arm, “The abomination must be destroyed!”

“Abomination?” I asked.

“Go to hell!” Orion shouted as he flung his stick towards the ghost-like being.

“Dark Void!” the specter shouted again, creating another dark aura that swallowed up Orion.

“ZOMBROKEN!” I suddenly heard Ali’s other Pokémon scream as an invisible force whizzed past Orion and me, knocking my Skunter away from the ghost’s attack. Hearing the demon’s metallic hooves clang against the concrete as he jumped, Zombroken instantly reappeared midair and slammed into Darkrai with his Shadow Force.

“Even at half-strength, Zombroken’s physical attacks are still quite powerful. Coupled with the move Overdrive, Shadow Force becomes a nearly lethal assault when it hits, even when used against a Darkrai,” Ali commented as he caught up to us.

“Zombroken?” Orion muttered confusedly as he got back on his feet. Admittedly, he’d never had the opportunity to fight one properly, so it was no surprise to me that he didn’t know about them.

The Pokémon in question slammed into the sidewall of the channel and then fell into the polluted water. Meanwhile his target crash-landed onto the walkway on the opposite side of the sewer. Though it didn’t look like he’d fallen so hard, I could tell that impact from Zombroken’s attack must have caused major injury to his side due to how he already had an odd bulge swelling up on it.

“Giltana, snap out of it!” Ali shouted at his Pokémon. The mutant fish-dragon woke up on command, and then went over to Zombroken to lift him back onto the walkway.

“Hey, do you notice that bulge growing out of Darkrai’s side?” I asked Ali. He took a momentary glance at the specter and nodded once he noticed the green and black blob that attached itself to Darkrai’s body.

“He’s been infected by Doxi Riboneria. It will spread throughout his circulatory system and convert his cells into more of its own if the main colony itself doesn’t order it to stop, which is very unlikely even if we do find Doxinox in time.”

“Speaking of Doxinox, that ooze trail there in the water seemed like it was getting thicker the further we came in this direction,” I commented as I hunched over and pointed to the stream.

Ali looked into it as well and then commented, “This doesn’t surprise me. We’re awfully close to one of her presumed feeding grounds. I’ve just never had the opportunity to spot Doxinox in the midst of mealtime.”

“Orion and I are going on ahead then. We can’t lose track of Doxinox just because some rogue Pokémon disrupted our search.”

“Agreed, but I want my Giltana to go with you. If Darkrai is any example of how terrible the mega-colony can be, you’ll need a Poison-type Pokémon that won’t be so easily infected.”

I nodded in confirmation. He then handed me Giltana’s Poké Ball and ordered his Pokémon to obey be for the time being. Afterwards, Orion, Giltana, and I continued further down the corridor until it abruptly turned left; then we followed it almost all the way into a large underground reservoir where all the wastewater had been collected for treatment.

Orion and I followed the remaining walkway into the chamber proper, and made out way onto a steel platform suspended over the tank in which the sewage spewed into. Giltana, on the other hand, swam down into the pool and investigated the swirling mass congregating at the bottom. Like the trail we’d followed, there were globular lime-green and black formations floating around the tank.

“This is bad…” Orion commented as we reached the middle of the room.

“You sense something?”

“No, and that’s the problem,” he sneered, “When you started on about something called Doxinox, I presumed it was some sort of Pokémon…”

“It is. That’s what Ali and I came down here to find.”

“But any normal Pokémon, even mutants like Grimer and Muk, give off conscious thought patterns I can pick up on. Aside from Giltana’s brainwaves, I don’t sense a thing.”

Finishing up her investigation, Giltana started to swim back up towards us again. Once her head emerged from the depths, she cried out a horrific scream.

“Run!” Orion ordered as he made a quick dash for the concrete walkway. Giltana swam under and away from the platform too. Realizing the blobs were starting to coagulate near the top of the reservoir, I backed off as well but watched awestruck because of how they were rapidly changing into something solid.

Oozing through the grated floor of the platform, the creature’s head took on the distinct shape of a tyrannosaurus-like head covered mostly by dark-green scales. Her jaws were massive with alternating lime-green and black stripes rippling backwards down the lower one, from its lip to near its cheek. As she formed better, I could see that she had a slight brow-line where a long row of jagged red fins began to emerge at its midsection. Slowly but surely, her tail began to form into a virtual cone that possessed rings similar to the stripes on her jaw. Finally the Pokémon forcibly grew a pair of strong purplish arms behind her jaws, each with five fingers and long reddish claws.

“So you’re Doxinox?” I nervously told myself as I continued to inch away.

Placing her palms under her jaws, she immediately pushed her body upward and curled her tail underneath it to fully support herself, towering over me at a height of ten-feet-tall. Grunting at first, I noticed she then started to sniff around as though she picked up a familiar scent. Afterwards, she appeared to grin widely.

Opening her mouth slightly, she then gargled, “We are Doxinox, yes. How do you know this?”

My expression turned to disgust the moment she finished, but I swallowed my pride and replied, “I was sent by your creator, Dr. Barnes, to find you.”

“Creator?” she belched.

“Perhaps this will refresh your memory.” I took out the Stasis Ball that Felicia gave me to recapture Doxinox in. The monster turned so that she could get a better look with one of her large red eyes, her slit-like iris widening at the sight of it.

“Master is alive?” she then asked. I nodded in response.

“We thought she was killed by that monster, which is why we took refuge here.”

“Monster? The thing that attacked you twenty-two years ago?”

“Beyi-geyi…”

“Beg pardon?”

“The one who condemned us as an ‘abomination.’ She deemed us unworthy to live and set a beast upon us. We barely survived.”

“Hmm? Is that what happened?” Doxinox just tilted her head back and apparently sighed.

After a long moment of silence, I heard Dr. Jubara and his Zombroken coming down the corridor. Orion started back over to where I stood, slinging his staff over his shoulder. As the silhouettes of the scientist and accompanying Pokémon emerged from the inky darkness, I noticed something terribly different about them. Zombroken’s eyes glowed violet instead of red, and Ali’s hair somehow turned into a flowing mane of silvery-white.

“Giltana, return…” the man ordered as he held out the creature’s Poké Ball.

“Ali, what’s wrong?” I asked him, about to dash over to his side. Orion stopped me, though, by holding his weapon out ahead.

“They’re possessed!” the skunk then shouted.

“No, this is far worse than a mere possession,” Ali rasped, “I have overridden their souls completely.”

“What?” Doxinox, Orion, and I all asked.

“Doctor Jubara no longer has control of this body, nor do Zombroken’s internal demons realize what their body is doing.”

“Who are you then? Darkrai?”

“The one and only. Now that I’ve left the physical domain, I again have the power to temporarily usurp any mortal body as I see fit.”

“He’s controlling them from the Dreamtime, Jay!” Orion explained, “You remember that Dallinos mythology states that all physical beings have a secondary spirit form, which only exists in Beyi Quofyi, right? If the myths are true, then that Darkrai apparently found a way to freely enter the Dreamtime world and manipulate these bodies from there.”

“Zombroken, go forth and destroy the abomination!” Ali commanded. The mechanized horse neighed loudly and started moving towards the platform we stood on.

Orion gave out a fierce battle cry and then jumped into the air overhead. Plunging downward, the skunk kept his feet down so that he could land right on Zombroken’s back. Zombroken, however, shot him down with a series of electrical bolts generated from his horns. Now paralyzed, the huntsman landed face first in front of me unable to move much.

I recalled him and sent out Apollo. Unable to bear the stench, he instinctively gave out a terrible scream and then teleported back into his ball.

“Damn it! This is no time to wimp out on me!” I scolded him. Zombroken got to the far end of the bridge leading to the platform and, no sooner putting a hoof on it, caused it to shake violently. Undoubtedly the people who designed the thing only meant for it to hold humans and light Pokémon. That heavy-metal hoofer would make it collapse and sink if his thirteen-hundred-pound body got on it.

“Doxinox, I need you to stop that machine!”

“We shall try.”

Suddenly, the monster grabbed onto the side rails and flung herself into the air. Zombroken backed off the platform a little bit, shooting another Thunderbolt overhead to get in a second preemptive strike. However, Doxinox appeared to be almost completely unfazed by the attack, save for the impact spot on her chin becoming slightly deformed. Slamming down hard, Doxinox’s body splattered all over the machine and floor around it.

“Zombroken, she’s immune to spiritual attacks. Make certain you don’t waste them on her,” Ali ordered.

“Doxinox, his body’s made almost entirely of cast iron. If you submerge him, he’ll be vulnerable to attack!” I shouted. Doxinox seeped underneath Zombroken and reformed her hands around his belly to lift him upward. The mechanical horse spun his rear wheels furiously to try and mutilate his attacker’s palms, but only caused her fingers to splatter and gunk up his own appendages.

“BROKEN!” he shouted, blowing out a harsh smokescreen through his mouth.

Holding him firmly overhead now, the mega-colony threw Zombroken into the middle of the reservoir. I watched excitedly as he sunk to the bottom of the wastewater pool. Once she was fully formed again, Doxinox dove in after her assailant to continue the attack.

“Giltana, go assist Zombroken!” Ali ordered as he re-released his other Pokémon. As soon as she appeared, I realized that she too had been put under the same trance Zombroken was in due to the abnormal violet coloring of her eyes. Following his command to a tee, Giltana dove into the sewage and pursued Doxinox.

“Sheila, don’t give me the type of BS Apollo did!” I commented as I threw my Lapras’s ball out towards the water. The plesiosaur splashed down into the reservoir and gave out a disgusted cry.

“Sorry, but I need you to use Ice Beam on that Giltana, stat!”

Sheila looked downward to see the mutant fish chasing after Doxinox. She threw her head back briefly and then shot an icy-blue energy stream out of her mouth, straight at her targeted Pokémon. Within split seconds the move struck, freezing Giltana solid along with any wastewater in the path of the Ice Beam due to it being such a pinpointed attack.

Doxinox finally reached Zombroken’s location at the deepest part of the basin. Angered by the colony’s last strike, the mechanized horse opened his mouth widely to unleash a piercing sound that resonated from inside his body. Shriek Clang’s effectiveness appeared to be doubled underwater, judging by how Doxinox dissolved her body again in a likely attempt to avoid the attack’s full power. Sheila also cried out painfully because of the noise, so I instinctively recalled her.

“Damn it! What do you hope to gain by killing Doxinox?” I decided to ask.

“This is nothing more than my master’s wish, boy,” the Darkrai-controlled Ali replied.

“What? Who’s your master then?”

Before he could respond again, Dr. Jubara’s body jerked upward for some reason. Afterwards, Darkrai was forcefully ejected from Ali’s backside. Then, the man pivoted around to face the specter authoritatively.

“DARKRAI!” Ali’s voice suddenly boomed, “How dare you commandeer these mortals’ bodies without my consent?”

“My…My Liege… I didn’t realize that I…”

“Silence!” the entity now in control demanded, “Your task here is finished. Convene with my emissary at once!”

“But, S-Sire…” A malevolent purple-and-black aura immediately veiled the doctor’s body after that comment. On that note, Darkrai withdrew back into the sewer corridor we’d just come down and dashed away as an intangible shadow.

“I shall deal with you humans when the time is nigh…” the being spoke solemnly as the corona dissipated. Then Ali dropped to his knees before slouching on the floor listlessly.

Zombroken instantly stopped his attack, now apparently confused by the fact that he was underwater. Doxinox resumed her regular form, watching cautiously as if she expected another fight. After a couple seconds, Giltana thawed out enough to break free of her icy prison and then glanced around to get her bearings.

“Doxinox, Giltana, try to help Zombroken out of there! I’m going to check on Ali,” I told the Pokémon. Both of them swam towards the mechanical horse. Meanwhile, I headed off the platform I had been standing on and over to Dr. Jubara’s side.

The man pushed himself up off the floor, trying to get back on his feet. For some reason, he trembled terribly as I grabbed his arm to help. However, he pulled away from me and screamed.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“That monster… He… I can’t even describe how horrific he was…” Ali sobbed.

“Darkrai?”

“No, that other beast!” After a couple seconds, he stood upright completely. Staring blankly at the terrified expression on Ali’s face, I felt like I somehow knew what he meant.

“That creature… He is unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered in my seven years of research. To call him a demon is a severe understatement.”

“Alright, geez… Calm down, man. It’s over now.”

“No, you don’t understand! I will never know calm again after that experience.”

With a small splash, the Pokémon emerged from the depths. Doxinox and Giltana gently set Zombroken on the ground behind us. Giltana then climbed out of the water, while Doxinox just floated nearby.

“Unbelievable… You actually found Felicia’s project?” Ali complimented me with some excitement returning to his voice.

“Yep.” I went over to the platform again, holding Doxinox’s Stasis Ball in my right hand.

Focusing her eyes on it, she asked, “Do you wish to take us back to Master?”

“If you’ll come back.”

“We shall!” Doxinox gurgled joyfully.

On that note, I threw the modified Poké Ball at her. The sphere opened slowly; however, it drew the mega-colony inside within moments, including all the trails of ooze down the off-branching corridors leading out from the reservoir. Once it sealed, the orb returned to my hand and I put it away in my right holster.

Ali recalled both of his Pokémon and anxiously asked, “Are we done here?”

“Yeah,” I replied, “Let’s head back to IIPS. I’m going to need a seriously long shower tonight when I get home, though.” We then headed back out of the sewers the exact same way we’d come in, making as much haste as we could.

<End Chapter Five>

I spent most of the weekend finishing up my rewrites for this entire chapter. It didn't really take as long as I'd originally thought, but I've suddenly found myself feeling a little sickly no thanks to my sister bring a cold into our household and felt like I may have rushed the last part. As usual, I'll do some more revisions as needed, but if nobody points things out, it may just sit as it stands.

The next chapter may be up before the week is over, but my work is finally starting to pick up again and I'm probably not going to have a lot of time or be in the mood for writing until the weekend again. I'm probably not going to be posting anymore sneak peeks since they more often than not tend to get ignored and kind of pollute the thread after a while if I make them too constant.
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Five Posted In-Full: Jan. 23, 2012!)

And so the battle over Doxinox begins. I find the opening particularly interesting because Darkrai's frustration of attempting to do anything to that amorphous beast demonstrated the difficulty of handling it - giving the reader the impression that Doxinox is quite difficult to put down. (I have no idea if you intended this or not. Thing about literature is that you can end up overanalyzing quite badly.)

Going on to Jay and Ali's starting dialogue, Ali's mention of Felicia's prediction caught me off guard. Jay is questioning on the existence on some of the myths, but I'm getting no explanation on why there would be such an appearance.

Somewhere else later, when Jay and Ali confronts Darkrai, in this paragraph:

Then a blackened halo appeared and swallowed Giltana whole. Orion and I stopped, continuing to watch as the anomaly faded and caused the mutant Pokemon to fall asleep in the toxic water. Above her, the full-formed phantasm floated slowly backwards, staring down his target with a menacing blue eye.
Try to avoid starting a paragraph with "Then" as such a transition tends to slur from one event to another. It's hard to explain, really... think of this scene being depicted in a movie. From the declaration of Dark Void to its appearance, I imagined a sharp scene change immediately from a view down the tunnel to a close up on the attack zooming out as it hits Giltana. That being the case, no transistion is needed from the way I see it.

The bolded sentence feels a bit awkward. I'm not sure how to reword it either. The best I can come up with right now is "Orion and I stopped, watching the anomaly fade away, leaving the mutant Pokemon to fall asleep in the toxic water." It could just be me.


“Dark Void!” the specter shouted again, creating another dark aura that swallowed up Orion.
I had to pause a bit after the story as I had thought once Dark Void reaches you, you instantly fall asleep, no? So did the attack reach Orion but didn't take effect?

Even later: Darkrai can have bruises? I'm not sure that his physical composition would cause swelling of his body upon receive critical impact. Also concerning Darkrai's body, I'm interested how Doxi's cells can function somewhat similar to viruses, only that it converts cells rather than just reprogramming them to replicate them.


“Zombroken, she’s immune to spiritual attacks. Make certain you don’t waste them on her,” Ali commented.
Weak.

Hm... that's pretty much it (not as much as I was hoping for, unfortunately. Then again, I didn't take that long to analyze it). Solid chapter as usual, with the only concern that Ali is severely haunted for life (which, no offense, you seem to care not :p). First things first, finish the task at hand, and start finding out who's pulling the strings.

Happy Writing,

~Zyflair
 
RE: Feral Twilight (PG-13/Chapter Five Posted In-Full: Jan. 23, 2012!)

I made a few minor edits based on what you said, but I'm afraid that some stuff I just cannot work around in this chapter because they're actually plot mechanisms I was going to reveal in the following one. The explanation for the re-appearance of the legendary was actually left out for the reason that Felicia and Ali aren't completely sure themselves how or if it will occur at all just by reclaiming Doxinox (and an indirect reason was for the purpose of foreshadowing that something else might happen instead).

Darkrai always struck me as being able to switch from a phantom form to a physical form at will, meaning he still can succumb to real world injuries and ailments since he isn't an actual Ghost-type. For the purposes of this story too, he's able to freely move between the physical world (Leyi Quofyi) and the Dreamtime (Beyi Quofyi), in which the latter any physical injury or ailments get nullified.

Doxinox is sort of a "work-in-progress" both as a Fakemon in general and as a character in this story (and Biohazard). The main idea is that the mega-colony exists as a unified consciousness while the individual cells can still work independently if they somehow get separated from the group. Her DNA is so complex that it can match any other organism's genetic coding in order to integrate it into her own and assimilate other Pokemon's cells.
 
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