Marriage: Special or waste?

[Pride]

Marriage = Having a boy/girlfriend but at the end of it losing half of your stuff.

I can't wait to get married!

And I thought we were having a nice discussion without any flame baiting but I guess not.

Take marriage for example; one can get married a dozen times and can have bad experiences with all of them, he/she will probably tell you that marriage is a bad thing, or one is happily married and tell you it is a good thing. Even with experience it still boils down to a matter of personal choice; an subjective opinion. An opinion from a person with experience is not worth more, people just have the tendency to value them more.

I would argue that the last sentence doesn't make more sense; if they're not worth more then people wouldn't value them more but I feel this discussion is digressing so we should let it be and go back to posting that marriage is evil/good.

Edit:

You blew off the point I was attempting to make. I don't want to just spring it upon her at some random event. It's already bad enough the relationship is turning into s***, so telling a nearly devout Catholic "By the way, I'm an atheist" isn't going to go so well.
I was trying to get the point that trust is a necessity. Do I trust her? Yes. Do I fear her judgement? Yes, mostly because her friends seem to just think that I don't mean shit.
Sorry if I sound rude, I'm just starting to get angry, and I probably should've explained myself better.

No need to get mad; I didn't mean to offend you, I just don't get why you haven't told someone that you have been with for 1.5 years (I believe this was you) that you have a belief that you know is going to clash with hers if you do trust her. If the relationship is in such bad state as you say it is, then obviously its not a good time to lay something down like that but it seems like this is really bothering you...

Edit #2: I'm trying to say that relationships/marriage work better when your honest with each other.

 

[Pokequaza]

Take marriage for example; one can get married a dozen times and can have bad experiences with all of them, he/she will probably tell you that marriage is a bad thing, or one is happily married and tell you it is a good thing. Even with experience it still boils down to a matter of personal choice; an subjective opinion. An opinion from a person with experience is not worth more, people just have the tendency to value them more.

I would argue that the last sentence doesn't make more sense; if they're not worth more then people wouldn't value them more but I feel this discussion is digressing so we should let it be and go back to posting that marriage is evil/good.

Money is just paper (or metals), however people value it more than its actual value, that of printed paper. This might clear it up.

Let us go back to the actual topic.

 

[omahanime]

The Typical Single Response ^^^^^

Great, except I'm not single. Getting married is largely a waste. If you love someone, then just be with them. Save your time and your money; if your relationship goes south, breaking it off is a lot easier to do without going through a potentially messy divorce. If it doesn't, then all the better. Unfortunately, our society chooses to bestow benefits on the title of husband or wife, so if you want to take advantage of them, you might have to just get married.

Marriage = Having a boy/girlfriend but at the end of it losing half of your stuff.

I can't wait to get married!

Google palimony



Some people are not meant to be married. But you can not make that determination until you have lived by yourself.

My wife and I celebrated our 23rd anniversary a few months back.

 

[Bolt the Cat]

"Necessary evil" is not fitting at all because no one is forced to get married, this isn't those old times. They made a decision and it didn't work out, like most relationships anyways.

That's not what I meant when I said it was a necessary evil, I meant in the context of a serious relationship. If you're single, nothing's making you get married, of course. But eternal, monogamous marriages exist for good reasons, mainly having to do with kids. Let's say you have an open relationship with your spouse, you can have as many affairs as you want without consequence from your spouse. What happens if you (or your mistress if you're male) get pregnant from that affair? Who takes care of the kid? How do you support the kid (monetarily)? And how would you balance the relationship between him/her and your partner. Monogamy exists because it's stable for families, and if you plan to enter a serious relationship with (read: have sex with) your partner, family is something you have to keep in mind. That's what the big deal with marriage is.

 

[Xous]

To me, marriage is just like pretty much anything else in life: it works for some, and not for others. There are some people who find marriage to be exactly what they need, and nothing bad ever comes of it. There are others who have a "failed" marriage(s), and either move on to find one that works or never get married again. And then there are those who will never get married and that'll be perfectly fine for them. Because of this, I find it hard to call it "a waste" or even "special." It's simply something that is, something that one chooses to do or not to do... Just like anything else in this life.

 

[Nengeni]

Marriage is a waste of time and money. If you ever become "attached" to someone else, just live with them in your lives. That way, as mentioned earlier, you don't go bankrupt trying to get a divorce later in life.

Imho, all marriage does is limit your ability to be who you are; there are more restraints put on you the moment you meet someone else in your life.

 

[r3skyline]

I've been able to be who I am. The whole point of marriage I'm assuming for everyone, is for one person to find another who can ADD to their life. Not to take away from their life.

 

[Familiar]

You can call marriage a waste, until you find that person you want to spend your life with. Then marriage becomes special.

 

[Equinox]

Marriage is only a waste if your partner doesn't let you be who you want you to be, that means that you made a wrong decision. If you limit yourself in this regard because you think the partner won't like it, than you yourself are a fool, you won't know until they see.

 

[GODZILLA]

As an immature college student who still has much to learn about the world, it is my opinion that marriage can be a beautiful thing. It can also be a very ugly mistake that upsets more than just the couple. I personally want to get married. Later down the line, of course, when I am ready and have found the right person (and they in turn have the right person in me). I believe that children should grow up in a stable household and their parents, their true role models, should set the example for them; mutual respect, cooperation, conflict resolution, and love. All of those things can come from a genuine, sincere relationship between two human beings. That is why I want to get married.

I suppose that two single individuals not tied together in marriage could accomplish the same thing, but something beyond them has to declare that, "WE are TOGETHER and nothing well ever change that." That is the kind of marriage, the kind of relationship with another person that I want.

My parents have been together for over thirty years. Their fights and arguments have been scary and I keenly remember how terrified I felt as a kid each time they threatened to separate. But they never did. I could not have asked for better parents. Despite their flaws and the dark points in their relationship, I am not afraid of getting married. Their flawed, but successful relationship has inspired me to have the same successful marriage, but to improve on it. They never gave up on their family, they never gave up on each other. They raised me as well as I could ever have hoped for and I am grateful for that. They set the example for me.

Marriage can be a beautiful thing.

 

[exdarkrai01]

Marriage is a waste of time and money. If you ever become "attached" to someone else, just live with them in your lives. That way, as mentioned earlier, you don't go bankrupt trying to get a divorce later in life.

Imho, all marriage does is limit your ability to be who you are; there are more restraints put on you the moment you meet someone else in your life.

How does marriage put a restraint on you? Marriage is about having a lifelong companion. Someone who is your best friend in the entire world, they will carry you and be with you through all the hard times as well as the good. If someone has truly chosen their companion in life well, I do not see how marriage can put a restraint on you. I know you say money in all, but in reality, there are way more important things in life than money. I do not think that fear of monetary problems should ever stop someone from getting married (of course, unless in their particular instance they have a reason to). I think most of the people are disagreeing with the concept of marriage because of monetary or legal reasons, but if you do not see benefit from having a lifelong companion, I truly do feel bad for you as spending a life and dying all alone is one hell on earth I do fear

 

[omahanime]

Marriage is a waste of time and money. If you ever become "attached" to someone else, just live with them in your lives. That way, as mentioned earlier, you don't go bankrupt trying to get a divorce later in life.

Google palimony

 

[bacon]

This is the sort of thing that I'd leave the lucky lady to decide.

I feel a certain ambivalance towards marriage. While I recognise the value of tradition as well as the legal perks of being united under the eyes of the state, I do not hold to the belief that some sort of special ceremony is a requisite for taking a relationship to its most intimate level. I could swing either way, which is why (in my case) I consider it the bride-to-be's decision.

 

[WildFireKyurem]

RE: Marriage. Special or waste?

Way to be original, Chill.
Marriage is iffy for me. I'm atheist, and it impacts me more than a Christian (in a sort). Christians in my area will generally hold the same views and they can be quite radical. To them, a fellow churchgoer who lives life a bit loose is on a highway to salvation, while a fellow Christian who lives life a bit loose is asked to come to church every now and then.
But in their eyes, an atheist who lives life a bit loose is not to be trusted. That's probably why I've been in the same relationship for a year and a half. I do love her, but to be honest, I don't see it lasting much more.
Marriage isn't something to just jump into like an fps without any forethought to it at all. It's your life. I live by this motto everyday. It's my life. I disappointed my parents with my career choice, and that probably won't be the last time I disappoint them.
I'd rather be the much more happier guy in my group of friends at the ten year reunion because, unlike them, I lived a little. I explored my options, and thought crap out. Do I have as much money as they do? No (well, yes, but that's because I'll be having a higher level of pay. but for the sake of the point, I move on). But will I have someone who may change their mind or personality and leave me, taking half of my s*** with her? No.
Point is:
Marriage is okay, but don't jump into it. If you're at an age where you'd be an average college student, don't do it. The age one should marry would probably be around 25 and up. It's your life. If people are forcing you to do things you aren't ready for, or things you do not want to do, then flip a certain finger and do what you want.

And, r3skyline, there's your bias claim being shattered.

not all christians are the same some arent as judgemental as u think some of them are just ignorant to be honest and some judge everyone equally some really dont care what others do.I respect everyone belief.I am Christian.I believe that your opinion on marriage is up to you Ino one can anthing to you for what you believe in.Sorry for the lecture.

 

[Spammy]

Why is being biased in an opinion thread bad? .-.

@ Unnecessarily aggressive man: You're on a Pokemon fan website, I would think you'd understand that not everyone here is married... in fact, I'm sure very few of us are.

I think many Americans are brought up to believe that marriage is something you will definitely eventually do if you find someone you love, but for some, it may be perfectly fine to simply go about the rest of their lives with that special someone without getting married. For others it's not really an issue because they don't want a relationship. I'm kind of torn, to be honest. I was raised to want to be married, so for me I can't really wrap my head around not being married once I have been together with my sweetheart for a long enough time. A part of me knows that nowadays it's not as "mandatory" as it used to be, but a part of me also knows the strange, disgusted, or otherwise disappointed looks I would get from my family if I never got married to someone I've been with many years.

No, marriage isn't a bad thing or a good thing, not really anyway. It's definitely special if you want it to be; and should you consider it, I think you should take it seriously, but simply put, it is what you make of it.

 

[Terra Red Rocket]

The Typical Single Response ^^^^^

Great, except I'm not single. Getting married is largely a waste. If you love someone, then just be with them. Save your time and your money; if your relationship goes south, breaking it off is a lot easier to do without going through a potentially messy divorce. If it doesn't, then all the better. Unfortunately, our society chooses to bestow benefits on the title of husband or wife, so if you want to take advantage of them, you might have to just get married.

Yes it is largely a waste. My parents got married and divorced twice. It's really really not worth it. Why should you have to spend so much money to say I love you? You shouldn't have to spend $1,000 or whatever on a ring to say I love you. All that money is better spent paying bills, getting a car if needed, etc etc. All that money that's spent on rings/wedding/etc is better spent on everyday expenses. With gas cost and everything even moreso now. And yes the money spent on bills/etc is for the benefit of both people of course. If I have to spend so much money on a ring or whatever to say I love you, then that's not real love to me. That's gold digging. And no it's not being "cheap". It's being smart with your money to
help both. Marriage can really really screw over one or both. Plus family/kids can really suffer from it. Marriage a lot of the times for some people
is just a way to get money gimmick. And yes to be fair it goes both ways for male and females.

 

[Familiar]

Great, except I'm not single. Getting married is largely a waste. If you love someone, then just be with them. Save your time and your money; if your relationship goes south, breaking it off is a lot easier to do without going through a potentially messy divorce. If it doesn't, then all the better. Unfortunately, our society chooses to bestow benefits on the title of husband or wife, so if you want to take advantage of them, you might have to just get married.

Yes it is largely a waste. My parents got married and divorced twice. It's really really not worth it. Why should you have to spend so much money to say I love you? You shouldn't have to spend $1,000 or whatever on a ring to say I love you. All that money is better spent paying bills, getting a car if needed, etc etc. All that money that's spent on rings/wedding/etc is better spent on everyday expenses. With gas cost and everything even moreso now. And yes the money spent on bills/etc is for the benefit of both people of course. If I have to spend so much money on a ring or whatever to say I love you, then that's not real love to me. That's gold digging. And no it's not being "cheap". It's being smart with your money to
help both. Marriage can really really screw over one or both. Plus family/kids can really suffer from it. Marriage a lot of the times for some people
is just a way to get money gimmick. And yes to be fair it goes both ways for male and females.

Everything is a waste if you do it with the wrong person or thing.
Went for vacation on the Carnival Triumph, all cruises and vacations are a waste.
Make friends with a backstabber, all friends are a waste.
Go to a bad movie, all movies are a waste.
Get sick at a restaurant, all restaurants are a waste.

 

[Terra Red Rocket]

Sometimes you don't know if it's a bad idea right away. Or until it's too late.
Sometimes the mask comes off only after you get married. And you can
learn from anything too.

You're post does make me really think about all this too. And that's a good
thing. And just to be clear I don't hate you or anything too. I'm learning and
being reminded of stuff by you as well.

 

[Zeto]

Considering the 2 cases:
1, u predict you will like him/her forever (and he/she responds the same), nice couple, what:
If u decide to marry, the only benefit will be the acceptance by the society and, maybe value more your responsibilities in life. Burdens are the complicated procedures of law in case of divorce and more within the society (not a big deal, unless if the affection is missing lol).
If not, benefits are... There s no burden. Consequences might be a lack of responsibilities, and loss of respect from the society (although, advanced countries are becoming more and more opened with ethical point of views).

2, u r a player: DON'T MARRY AT ALL.

From what I summarized, I do not see why would one be better than the other, since both has their advantages and disadvantages. My math teacher is living with my history teacher for more than 15 years. They have a child and even though my history teacher is sick and requires a lot of medications, his man supports her, even though they r not married. Therefore, my answer to this question is, it depends: if u and people around you think u have matured enough and will take responsibilities for the one u truly love, marriage or not, there s no big differences. If not, well, it s better to marry, as u will evolve through this phase.

 

[Rally]

RE: Marriage. Special or waste?

Marriage is a way to show respect and trust for someone that means something to you. Marriage might not be for everyone, and it can be very difficult when a problems occur and/or a breakup/divorce happens, but try to stay on the positive side. Be kind during a breakup, best way to show respect.

The Typical Single Response ^^^^^

Great, except I'm not single. Getting married is largely a waste. If you love someone, then just be with them. Save your time and your money; if your relationship goes south, breaking it off is a lot easier to do without going through a potentially messy divorce. If it doesn't, then all the better. Unfortunately, our society chooses to bestow benefits on the title of husband or wife, so if you want to take advantage of them, you might have to just get married.

That's why people don't usually get married 3 months after they meet. It might not apply to some celebrities, but nobody wants to have a messy breakup if you actually care for them.