Marriage: Special or waste?
- Thread starter Chaos Jackal
- Start date
My girlfriend really enjoys the whole marriage idea. While I do want to get married, the idea of it means much more to her. I want to respect that and make it as special as possible for her, but not in the sense that everything has to be perfect. If any of us expects that, we will be disappointed.
I dont know. I'm kind of getting excited about it so to me, when it happens, I dont think it will be a waste.
I dont know. I'm kind of getting excited about it so to me, when it happens, I dont think it will be a waste.
Nice to see that this still attracts attention.
Marriage is simply how you see it. I believe that you don't need it since you can be in love with someone and live happily together without being married. But it doesn't mean that I'm right, or that my opinion is the only one.
Marriage is simply how you see it. I believe that you don't need it since you can be in love with someone and live happily together without being married. But it doesn't mean that I'm right, or that my opinion is the only one.
Kind of late to the party, but I have to agree with those who said marriage isn't for everyone and you don't need marriage to show a lifelong commitment to a certain person. I personally see marriage as nothing more than tradition, not a necessity, and it isn't really for me.
brb people still cheat in marriage
brb divorce rates are alarmingly high (around 45%)
brb wasting tons of money on some silly ring, wedding ceremonies, and honeymoon
brb people still cheat in marriage
brb divorce rates are alarmingly high (around 45%)
brb wasting tons of money on some silly ring, wedding ceremonies, and honeymoon
At this point, marriage is just an old custom. As others have said in this thread, you don't need to be married to show your commitment and dedication to someone. Marriage just stands as a symbol of unity at this point, nothing more. It probably helps others still stuck in old times, but we're progressing fast as a people, marriage dragging further and further behind (not to mention Britney and Kim ruined the definition of a marriage in the old sense).
Humans won't outgrow love; they shouldn't outgrow marriage. It doesn't matter how committed to another you may be, at the end of the day, if you're not married, your "spouse" can and has every right to just up and leave. How can you have a family if that is a permanent option? Statistics aren't that great for children growing up in the care of single parents. I think that's ultimately one of the biggest problems in society.
I will state this before I add my two cents:
- I'm in a 4 year relationship and we plan on getting married around early summer next year
- I'm also a Christian
- I'm a woman
- I'm also quite young. I'll be 21 in June.
I've watched many marriages grow and succeed and many crumble and fail in my life time. Even though I'm young, I've seen many different 'marriage' scenarios. Marriage is good for some and bad for others.
I personally see it as a permanent commitment to one other person. You're pretty much committing your entire life to them. Promising to cherish them for the remainder of your life. Marriage isn't all about politics and government 'rewards'. There are perks in those areas, yes, but marriage is so much more than that.
It's an official promise to your partner that you love them unconditionally and you want to spend the rest of your life with them at your side. And in a Christian point of view, it's a promise to God that you will grow with this one person spiritually and become a single unit.
My boyfriend and I follow the "no sex before marriage" rule because that's also something we see as a special gift once you get married.
If you aren't ready to commit to someone for the rest of your life, then don't get married. It's pretty simple. I think many more marriages would be successful if both parties sat down and thought really hard about what marriage actually means. The wedding ceremony really means nothing. It's just a party. It doesn't prove that a couple is ready to be married. It doesn't prove that they have unconditional love for each other.
One of the biggest reasons for divorce right now is money. I've also seen many people get married because the girl got pregnant and then they divorced because the relationship was really bad. That's also why I follow the no sex before marriage thing. If you can commit yourself to another person for the rest of your life, you are in a much better position emotionally to start a family and be committed to it.
- I'm in a 4 year relationship and we plan on getting married around early summer next year
- I'm also a Christian
- I'm a woman
- I'm also quite young. I'll be 21 in June.
I've watched many marriages grow and succeed and many crumble and fail in my life time. Even though I'm young, I've seen many different 'marriage' scenarios. Marriage is good for some and bad for others.
I personally see it as a permanent commitment to one other person. You're pretty much committing your entire life to them. Promising to cherish them for the remainder of your life. Marriage isn't all about politics and government 'rewards'. There are perks in those areas, yes, but marriage is so much more than that.
It's an official promise to your partner that you love them unconditionally and you want to spend the rest of your life with them at your side. And in a Christian point of view, it's a promise to God that you will grow with this one person spiritually and become a single unit.
My boyfriend and I follow the "no sex before marriage" rule because that's also something we see as a special gift once you get married.
If you aren't ready to commit to someone for the rest of your life, then don't get married. It's pretty simple. I think many more marriages would be successful if both parties sat down and thought really hard about what marriage actually means. The wedding ceremony really means nothing. It's just a party. It doesn't prove that a couple is ready to be married. It doesn't prove that they have unconditional love for each other.
One of the biggest reasons for divorce right now is money. I've also seen many people get married because the girl got pregnant and then they divorced because the relationship was really bad. That's also why I follow the no sex before marriage thing. If you can commit yourself to another person for the rest of your life, you are in a much better position emotionally to start a family and be committed to it.
theducktamer said:I will state this before I add my two cents:
- I'm in a 4 year relationship and we plan on getting married around early summer next year
- I'm also a Christian
- I'm a woman
- I'm also quite young. I'll be 21 in June.
I've watched many marriages grow and succeed and many crumble and fail in my life time. Even though I'm young, I've seen many different 'marriage' scenarios. Marriage is good for some and bad for others.
I personally see it as a permanent commitment to one other person. You're pretty much committing your entire life to them. Promising to cherish them for the remainder of your life. Marriage isn't all about politics and government 'rewards'. There are perks in those areas, yes, but marriage is so much more than that.
It's an official promise to your partner that you love them unconditionally and you want to spend the rest of your life with them at your side. And in a Christian point of view, it's a promise to God that you will grow with this one person spiritually and become a single unit.
My boyfriend and I follow the "no sex before marriage" rule because that's also something we see as a special gift once you get married.
If you aren't ready to commit to someone for the rest of your life, then don't get married. It's pretty simple. I think many more marriages would be successful if both parties sat down and thought really hard about what marriage actually means. The wedding ceremony really means nothing. It's just a party. It doesn't prove that a couple is ready to be married. It doesn't prove that they have unconditional love for each other.
One of the biggest reasons for divorce right now is money. I've also seen many people get married because the girl got pregnant and then they divorced because they relationship was really bad. That's also why I follow the no sex before marriage thing. If you can commit yourself to another person for the rest of your life, you are in a much better position emotionally to start a family and be committed to it.
Faith in humanity = restored. Seriously, the world needs more people like you with your set of values.
CCloud said:
You've clearly taken that out of proportions. That's not what he/she is saying at all. I think it's pretty obvious what was being said there.
(Author, of course, should correct me if I'm wrong)
theducktamer emphasizes two main themes in their post. One is the importance of commitment, and the other is "no sex before marriage". Both points have extremely valid arguments behind them. Furthermore, these character choices have no bearing on whether you are a Christian or not, people have the right to choose the path of morality that suits them best, regardless of their faith.
Just because Mora points this out doesn't mean he/she intends to say that "if you're not a Christian you are a bad person". There is absolutely nothing that says you have to be a Christian to believe in abstinence or commitment. The values that were discussed in the original post don't describe Christianity. The only thing even mentioned about it is the symbolism behind Christian marriage.
In summary, I think what was really being said is "YEAH, there should be more men in the world who are committed to their wives." or "It IS a smart idea for people to abstain from sex until marriage so as to avoid single parenthood.". These are admirable things to live by, but not doing so doesn't make you a bad person. It just helps solve these problems.
theducktamer emphasizes two main themes in their post. One is the importance of commitment, and the other is "no sex before marriage". Both points have extremely valid arguments behind them. Furthermore, these character choices have no bearing on whether you are a Christian or not, people have the right to choose the path of morality that suits them best, regardless of their faith.
Mora said:
Just because Mora points this out doesn't mean he/she intends to say that "if you're not a Christian you are a bad person". There is absolutely nothing that says you have to be a Christian to believe in abstinence or commitment. The values that were discussed in the original post don't describe Christianity. The only thing even mentioned about it is the symbolism behind Christian marriage.
In summary, I think what was really being said is "YEAH, there should be more men in the world who are committed to their wives." or "It IS a smart idea for people to abstain from sex until marriage so as to avoid single parenthood.". These are admirable things to live by, but not doing so doesn't make you a bad person. It just helps solve these problems.
Personally, theducktamer isn't a bad person. Although, I didn't pick up a good vibe while reading her post, because it contains a lot of loaded language and I felt the same way that CCloud is saying.
However, that's probably one of my insecurities talking there...
However, that's probably one of my insecurities talking there...
CCloud said:
They are simply good values to have (minus the being Christian part because that's not saying all people who aren't Christians are therefore bad people). Is it wrong to value values, the only thing I can say I'm guilty of? I think that some of those values that are most rare in society and probably some of the harder ones to have are ones that we need to see more of because they are on the verge of extinction? Some of those values actually have an application. Abstinence keeps you free of STD's and pregnancies that statistically cause you to sink below the poverty line, lower your quality of life, and get you stuck in the same cycle that got you into the problem in the first place which passes the problem on to the next generation where it is usually repeated. (Seen it happen.) Honestly, if you're so committed to someone and it really is forever, why can't you wait for confirmation?
I'd also like to point out that Christianity isn't 'morals', and therefore shouldn't be defined by the morals that many in the faith tend to have. Morals are morals and they are for anyone. Continuing on what Mora said, they have important purposes and they are generally good practices to live by. It certainly doesn't determine who is 'bad' or 'good'.