The Jokes Thread

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Shampoo-thief is back and better than ever. Most everything else I either don't find funny or I've heard it before...
I'll find some joke really good later, but for now enjoy this one:

Everyone has a photographic memory, but not everyone has film.
 
@bacon: TL;DR

Want to hear a knock-knock joke? Okay, you start.

... I don't have any good ones right now, sorry.
 
Hokay this is terrible but whatever.
So a boy and his clown are walking in to the woods at sunset. The boy says "Clown, it is getting dark and I am frightened" then the clown says "I know, and I have to walk out of here alone."


That's it. Pretty much just for telling to people who are afraid of clowns.
 
Snorchu, you are freaking me out, my friend and I were telling that joke all day this morning at school 0_0
 
Have you heard of the movie constipation? ( Answer it in your head before reading spoiler.)
It hasn't come out yet
 
My god, I've got HUNDREDS of jokes to put up here. I may as well put up a new one each day. Ah well, let's start with one.


Two men and a woman walk up to a cliff. The first man decides to show the second man a trick.

"The wind here is really strong," says the first man. "If you jump off, the wind will pull you right back up."

"Really?" says the second man. "I don't believe you."

"Just watch," says the first man.

So the first man jumps off the cliff, descends about 50 feet, then gradually ascends back up to the top of the cliff.

"Wow, that's amazing!" says the second man. "Let me try!"

So the second man jumps of the cliff, and rapidly descends to the ground, where he takes a hard fall.

The woman walks up to the first man and says "That wasn't very nice, Superman."
 
Oh, man.... One of the french horn players in my section tells me a ton of horribly funny jokes :p (I've used the highlight white text thing here)

What do you call someone who knows three languages?
Trilingual
What do you call someone who know two languages?
Bilingual
What do you call someone who knows one language?
American

What do you call four mexicans in a boat with a hole in it?
cuatro cinco

Oh, man my internet has just been horrible lately, I'm so mad right now!!!! I could just go burn down an orphanage, I mean what are they gonna do? Tell their parents? (Yeah, like uber mean)

The IRS joke is gonna go around my school now XD
 
EPM, did I give you permission to use my orphan joke?
Bacon's joke is now my second favorite. I also liked Aggie's joke about the whales. The hambush one and the IRS one would have been funny if I hadn't heard them before.
my contribution:
Did you hear about the dyslexic satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa.
 
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