Writing Seven Days of Terror
- Thread starter PMJ
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RE: Seven Days of Terror
OK, I have to be honest.
This was the single greatest FanFic I've seen so far!!!!!!!
OK, I have to be honest.
This was the single greatest FanFic I've seen so far!!!!!!!
RE: Seven Days of Terror
Are you going to post a new chapter?Just wanting to know...
Are you going to post a new chapter?Just wanting to know...
RE: Seven Days of Terror
OK.
I have only been reading the actual story posts, just until now.
OK.
I have only been reading the actual story posts, just until now.
PMJ
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RE: Seven Days of Terror
YOU JUST NOW STARTED READING IT???? *shock horror amazement*
Oh well. Everyone's gotta start sometime. Glad to see you're aboard!
Now just don't wuss out like Kronar did and we'll be good.
YOU JUST NOW STARTED READING IT???? *shock horror amazement*
Oh well. Everyone's gotta start sometime. Glad to see you're aboard!
Now just don't wuss out like Kronar did and we'll be good.
RE: Seven Days of Terror
._.
Must...read...chapter...I'm like addicted to this story now, LOL.
._.
Must...read...chapter...I'm like addicted to this story now, LOL.
RE: Seven Days of Terror
This is simply fantastic! I started reading a little while ago and simply couldn't stop until I'd finished the whole thing. If Pokémon ever went in a more adult direction, this'd be it. Truly well done.
I patiently await the next installment.
This is simply fantastic! I started reading a little while ago and simply couldn't stop until I'd finished the whole thing. If Pokémon ever went in a more adult direction, this'd be it. Truly well done.
I patiently await the next installment.
RE: Seven Days of Terror
Can't...stop...reading...
I think I've read this over 70 times.
LOL, awesome.
Can't...stop...reading...
I think I've read this over 70 times.
LOL, awesome.
RE: Seven Days of Terror
Haha PMJ. I thought something was fishy when you said that your fic had only about 1% romance and everything else was ACTION! But I don't mind, I'm finding everything quite nostalgic and it evokes memories of those first sweet moments. Your descriptions are pretty spot on haha.
Anyways, my thoughts after reading the first seven chapters!
- I'm really enjoying the more "mature" aspects of this story; it definitely adds on to the shallow representations of the characters that you see in the show (not that I watch the show but I've seen enough to realize that there's essentially no character depth)
- You do add comical parts (i.e. cheesy comedy, mainly with Brock) to appeal to the younger crowd, and you do it well. It's not really distracting from the overall story, and it does kind of give it a lighter feeling
- Ash is pimpin' (PAK = PMJ?)
- The battles are detailed and creative. A hard part about writing Pokemon fics is the fact that the game is very linear (x is faster than y, Pokemon have levels, etc.) whereas the anime is extremely non-linear (there's almost no structure). I find that mainly sticking to the "game" part while adding details and explanations makes for a better and more "mature" story, and you've done very well in that aspect. Your battles can get a bit...drawn out, though.
There are a few things that I think you could've spent more time writing about, such as why Ash is still going to G's home; just because my parents said it's ok doesn't mean I'm that stupid. But overall this is one of the best fics I've seen! Keep up the good work.
(ps: I'm working on mine; I had a really good original idea in my fic, right now I'm planning on just re-writing it from memory and making it better!)
Haha PMJ. I thought something was fishy when you said that your fic had only about 1% romance and everything else was ACTION! But I don't mind, I'm finding everything quite nostalgic and it evokes memories of those first sweet moments
. Your descriptions are pretty spot on haha.Anyways, my thoughts after reading the first seven chapters!
- I'm really enjoying the more "mature" aspects of this story; it definitely adds on to the shallow representations of the characters that you see in the show (not that I watch the show but I've seen enough to realize that there's essentially no character depth)
- You do add comical parts (i.e. cheesy comedy, mainly with Brock) to appeal to the younger crowd, and you do it well. It's not really distracting from the overall story, and it does kind of give it a lighter feeling
- Ash is pimpin' (PAK = PMJ?)
- The battles are detailed and creative. A hard part about writing Pokemon fics is the fact that the game is very linear (x is faster than y, Pokemon have levels, etc.) whereas the anime is extremely non-linear (there's almost no structure). I find that mainly sticking to the "game" part while adding details and explanations makes for a better and more "mature" story, and you've done very well in that aspect. Your battles can get a bit...drawn out, though
.There are a few things that I think you could've spent more time writing about, such as why Ash is still going to G's home; just because my parents said it's ok doesn't mean I'm that stupid. But overall this is one of the best fics I've seen! Keep up the good work
.(ps: I'm working on mine; I had a really good original idea in my fic, right now I'm planning on just re-writing it from memory and making it better!)
PMJ
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RE: Seven Days of Terror
Ash is not a pimp, lol.
The battles are my favorite parts to write, and I do actually base it off the anime, hence the addition of the whole "dodge it!" mechanic which I can see working in the Pokemon world (although battles tend to be "Pokemon, use X!" "Dodge it and use Y!", but that's another story).
Do you really think the battles are drawn out? There aren't that many, and I think that the amount of detail is necessary. Battles are exciting to write. I can't get enough.
Also, regarding Ash agreeing to go to the mansion: he is very, very suspicious of Giovanni and suspects that he has ulterior motives. The only reason he agrees to it is because his family and friends convinced him that should Giovanni pull a fast one, they'll be able to nail him for it. Even after agreeing to go, he remains suspicious despite Misty's wishes, and he will continue to do so throughout his stay.
Let me know what you think about the next two chapters.
Ash is not a pimp, lol.
The battles are my favorite parts to write, and I do actually base it off the anime, hence the addition of the whole "dodge it!" mechanic which I can see working in the Pokemon world (although battles tend to be "Pokemon, use X!" "Dodge it and use Y!", but that's another story).
Do you really think the battles are drawn out? There aren't that many, and I think that the amount of detail is necessary. Battles are exciting to write. I can't get enough.
Also, regarding Ash agreeing to go to the mansion: he is very, very suspicious of Giovanni and suspects that he has ulterior motives. The only reason he agrees to it is because his family and friends convinced him that should Giovanni pull a fast one, they'll be able to nail him for it. Even after agreeing to go, he remains suspicious despite Misty's wishes, and he will continue to do so throughout his stay.
Let me know what you think about the next two chapters.
RE: Seven Days of Terror
I read the next two chapters and they are great; you're carrying the story along just fine and all is dandy. The one thing that caught my attention however is that to me it seems like a bigger deal should have been made about May's going blind. I mean yeah, this is a tropical island, but wouldn't you want to try to get the heck out of there? IIRC, Giovanni stated nothing about not being allowed to bring phones, unless they don't work on the island. But maybe you're planning on incorporating that into the next chapter.
Haha, sorry for picking little things like that. There's a couple of other things but they aren't really that big. I've been taking comp/lit AP for the last couple of months and all I've been doing is reading papers, scrutinizing every detail, and then writing a 2-3 page formal essay to argue a point, so that's just what I automatically do now. So no offense, I really like this fic!
I read the next two chapters and they are great; you're carrying the story along just fine and all is dandy. The one thing that caught my attention however is that to me it seems like a bigger deal should have been made about May's going blind. I mean yeah, this is a tropical island, but wouldn't you want to try to get the heck out of there? IIRC, Giovanni stated nothing about not being allowed to bring phones, unless they don't work on the island. But maybe you're planning on incorporating that into the next chapter
.Haha, sorry for picking little things like that. There's a couple of other things but they aren't really that big. I've been taking comp/lit AP for the last couple of months and all I've been doing is reading papers, scrutinizing every detail, and then writing a 2-3 page formal essay to argue a point, so that's just what I automatically do now. So no offense, I really like this fic!
PMJ
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RE: Seven Days of Terror
Oh no, please, scrutinize all the details you like; it helps me get better
The reason a huge deal wasn't made out of it is made clear in the next chapter.
...or at least it will be now that you've brought it up. ;o
See? You help ;o
Oh no, please, scrutinize all the details you like; it helps me get better
The reason a huge deal wasn't made out of it is made clear in the next chapter.
...or at least it will be now that you've brought it up. ;o
See? You help ;o